


Wilder

by Sugarbowl



Category: GOT7
Genre: A little markjae, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, By underage I mean like 17, M/M, Underage Sex, lil baby maknaes, sunshine n pine trees n stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-07-28 06:27:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 76,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7628617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugarbowl/pseuds/Sugarbowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newly graduated, Jinyoung is determined to try new things. New parties, new boys, and when Mark asks for a favor, even volunteering as a counselor at summer camp. But new experiences can get complicated, and he quickly finds himself a little out of his depth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. welcome

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! It's a JJP summer camp AU~ :3
> 
> Some notes: I spent a lot of time at one summer camp when I was growing up so most of this one is based on that one. I don't know if there are comparable Korean ones and I didn't want to get too deep into overworking that so if it's easier to think of this being fully American - go for it. A lot of the discussion about graduating and university stuff is probably mostly Western also anyhow.
> 
> That said, I wanted to preserve a lot of their relational phrasing since I think it helps with their voices so they still say hyung etc. So I'll be honest that I didn't fully commit, I am a v bad author, etc etc.
> 
> There are also multiple flashbacks in here but I don't like reading a whole section in italics, so for now I'm dividing these with a timestamp before it like:  
> { Two weeks ago }  
> And then a little:  
> {*}  
> To signify the end of the flashback. If that's too confusing let me know. We can take it to italic-town if necessary.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! And comment pls because I love hearing your thoughts.

  
The wooden sign looks inviting: smooth, whittled branches used to create capital letters that welcome you to CAMP WILDER. 

Something flips in Jinyoung's stomach. _Wilder_ sounds promising. He stays pressed against the passenger window and watches as the dappled light of the forest clears to even brightness as they pull into a large gravel lot.

“It's going to be so fun,” Mark reassures him for the hundredth time as he parks. “You'll be a great counselor. Babies love you.”

“I thought you said they were middle schoolers,” Jinyoung mumbles, as they get their bags out of the old minivan.

“Same difference,” Mark says teasingly.

The truth is, Jinyoung is excited. He'd said goodbye to Mark for weeks at a time in summers past throughout their entire friendship, due to his time as a camper and counselor alike. He'd always been a little jealous of Mark's other world, his other friends, the woven bracelets and even the deep, carefree tan he'd come back to school with. Now, he was finally going to see this storied place come to life. 

It was also fitting into his latest initiative to try new things, more often. With university starting soon, Jinyoung decided he deserved to live at his best, to try more and be more.

Mark had teased him mercilessly when he’d first told him, insisting he wouldn't get very far. But after Jinyoung made a rare appearance at a recent house party and then even indulged in his first one night stand, Mark had to stop making fun of him.

So when Mark got an urgent call begging for help finding an additional counselor, he asked Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung, feeling adventurous, had agreed immediately. Now, drinking in the sprawling, sunshiney sight of Camp Wilder in person, he's a little more cautious, but eager butterflies still dance in his chest.

They head towards some folding tables manned by smiling, older administrative staff. Cheerful pennant banners indicate this is where they sign in and receive their cabin assignments. Others, presumably fellow counselors, are already in line. 

But Jinyoung's eyes are drawn to the large wooden dining hall, conspicuously the biggest building on the campground, with a wraparound balcony deck and a wide, inviting staircase out front. Lounging on the stairs are a group of more casual looking people. 

Mark mentions as he notices his curious gaze that they’re summer staff, paid to stay at camp for the whole season rather than volunteers for this specific camp program. 

“Like lifeguards, kitchen staff, housekeeping, whatever. I think there's a games guy and maybe a nurse, too?” He explains, and then gives a shrug. “I can't imagine staying here for three months, but they always seem pretty chill.”

Jinyoung sweeps his eyes across the cluster of teenagers casually, but when he gets to one figure with sharp eyes and unmistakable freckles, he squeaks in alarm and turns around.

“Oh, my god,” Jinyoung gasps out, hoisting his overstuffed satchel up and attempting to hide his face behind it.

“What?” Mark asks, face going suspicious. “What's the matter?”

“That’s the guy! He's _the_ guy!” Jinyoung hisses. 

Mark peers over at the summer staffers lounging on the dining hall steps, craning his long neck conspicuously. Jinyoung smacks him with his bag. “Don't look so obviously!”

“I'm not being obvious,” Mark says with a laugh. “You're the one pretending it's normal to wear your backpack on your face.”

“I can't believe my luck,” Jinyoung moans, angling them away from the boys and over towards the line at the admin tables. “I try to have one encounter with no strings attached and instead, I get woven into a web for a week.”

“You don't know it'll be bad,” Mark says, glancing back at the stairs one last time. “Maybe he won't remember your face. He doesn't even know your name. I know some of those guys but not everybody. Which one is it - the one with those _arms_?” He draws out the word with a little bit of a purr.

“Oh sure, thanks: let's just hope I'm completely forgettable. In a hat, with the broad shoulders,” Jinyoung moans, and yanks at Mark's wrist toward the sign in.

“There's like four of them in hats,” Mark laughs, eyes set on one laughing boy in a tank top and a backwards snapback. Mark watches his arms flex as he teases a girl on the stair below him, flicking her hair into her face. The boy’s dark eyes catch his suddenly, a smile flickering across red lips, and Mark sharply inhales as he turns away and tries to look casual.

“Did he. See you. _Looking_?” Jinyoung grits out, face set into a furious pout as he scribbles his name on a waiver form, nearly crumpling it with nerves and flinging it at the camp coordinator. In exchange he receives a name badge with his cabin number, dangling from a gaudy lanyard.

“Maybe,” says Mark breathlessly, the bright eyes and blinding smile still searing in his recollection. “He's cute,” he says quietly, sidling up in line.

“Oh, it's Mark again! One of my favorite little acrobats,” the coordinator coos, reaching out and grabbing at his cheek. 

“Good to see you again, Dara noona,” Mark mumbles, a little embarrassed, starting in on his paperwork.

“I'm so glad you liked counseling, it's a fuckin’ pain to get people to come back,” she admits, tone shifting immediately. Jinyoung eyes her warily, mulling over the words.

“Why?” He prods. “Mark said it was easy.”

Mark flushes and draws back from the table with his badge, stringing it around his neck and trying not to look involved.

Dara laughs suddenly, high-pitched and obviously for show. “Oh, it's so rewarding!” She gushes. “People just change their summer plans so often.” She shoos them away from the table, then. “Go check out your cabins! Don't forget, dinner at 6, staff campfire at 9 and then your campers get in tomorrow, 8AM bright and early!!”

Mark grips Jinyoung by the wrist and drags him away, and they cross back the way they came, toward the north side of the campground, where half of the little outcropping of cabins sits. Mark eyes Jinyoung's dangling badge as they trudge up the steep road.

“You're in 8, right next door to me,” Mark announces with a satisfied smile. “So I promise I'll help if you have any… troublemakers.”

Jinyoung peeks at the 7 emblazoned on Mark's badge and nods, still pouting somewhat. “You promised it wasn't going to be hard,” he mumbles. 

“It's not. But you _live_ with these kids for _a whole week_ , you know?” Mark says. “It can be… demanding for volunteer work, okay? So a lot of counselors don't become regulars. But honestly you bond with the campers no matter what, and they look up to you, and they're so cute, even the older ones who try to be cool…”

“Alright, alright. I guess I'm stuck here, anyhow.” Jinyoung cuts him off and heaves a sigh.

 

//

 

Dinner time rolls around quickly after settling in. Before Jinyoung realizes it, he's seated at a round table with Mark, watching other counselors, junior counselors and program staff file in and find their seats.

“It's my man, Mark!” Someone booms in stilted English, and Mark is suddenly swallowed into a back hug. Jinyoung turns hesitantly to see the perpetrator. It's the most cheerful looking boy he's ever seen, with floppy bangs and a beaming, brilliant grin. A delicate beauty mark lays beneath one of his warm, smiling eyes, and as he withdraws to settle in the seat on Mark's other side, Jinyoung can see Mark's cheeks have turned utterly pink.

“Youngjae-yah,” he sputters, startled but wearing a fond smile, “what are you doing here? I thought last year was your last.”

“As a camper, hyung!” Youngjae bursts, laying a hand on Mark's arm. “I'm a junior counselor this year.” He points proudly at his badge.

Mark nods slowly, seemingly processing something in his head. He gives a shake of his head and turns back to Jinyoung. “This is Youngjae, he was in my cabin last year,” he says. “Youngjae, this is Jinyoung. He's my best friend.”

Jinyoung smiles and nods politely. Youngjae nearly blinds him with a joyful smile in return. “He's talked about you! Last year he told me about how you once stood up for him in gym,” he gushes.

Jinyoung blushes a little and draws back, toying with his napkin as Mark seems embarrassed. 

“I don't remember,” Mark shrugs, eying Jinyoung strangely, almost apologetically. Jinyoung struggles to interpret it.

Youngjae’s smile shrinks a little and he looks away, taking out his own napkin and fixating on spreading it flat on his lap. His ears are red and Jinyoung feels a pang of sympathy.

“Mark told me the campers were all really cute,” Jinyoung shifts the conversation breezily. “I'm starting to believe him now.”

Mark goggles in surprise at this statement, looking away. 

Youngjae melts into a shy giggle and literally hides behind his napkin. Jinyoung feels an urge to wrap him up in it like a burrito and tote him everywhere.

“How old are you?” Jinyoung wonders, sipping at his water.

“Fifteen,” Youngjae says, and Mark looks down at his lap awkwardly. Jinyoung eyes him suspiciously and makes a note to pester him about it later.

“So they pair the juniors up with somebody older?” Jinyoung wonders.

Youngjae nods and lets his napkin fall again. “I'm with Taecyeon,” he says, looking up as some summer staffers filter through the hall.

“Hyung!” Youngjae calls out to the group, waving enthusiastically. Jinyoung glances up and regrets it immediately. His one night stand and a boy with platinum blond hair wave back and head over.

Jinyoung makes a strangled noise at Mark, who snorts into his water glass and tries to hide a smile.

“Mark, you remember my older brother Jaebum, right? He's lifeguarding again.” Youngjae is saying, gesturing at The Guy.

But the guy is named Jaebum, and he's looking at Jinyoung with immediate recognition, mouth slightly agape. Jinyoung tries not to think about how he had traced the perfectly shaped lips one by one just days ago. He isn't sure if this twist of pride he feels at being remembered is valid.

“This is Jinyoung, one of Mark hyung's friends,” Youngjae continues, gesturing at Jinyoung, whose face feels completely red.

Jaebum and the blond nod politely, or as politely as Jaebum seems to manage, which is more like a stunned twitch.

Jinyoung hopes his own tight smile doesn't look as obvious, but Mark's quickly flickering eyes seem to catch it all.

The blond clears his throat obviously, and Jaebum snaps to attention. “Ah, and, this is Jackson. He's our new athletic director.”

“Yo,” Jackson waggles his eyebrows at them. His eyes are warm and inviting, Jinyoung thinks, but especially toward Mark.

“What happened to JYP sunbaenim?” Mark asks.

“Kidney stones,” Jackson blurts out cheerfully. Jinyoung twists his mouth up in amusement and turns to see if Mark is giggling along at his mismatched tone, but Mark is biting his lower lip and staring up through his lashes. 

“Oh _no_ ,” he says cutely.

Jinyoung briefly makes sympathetic eye contact with an equally grossed out Jaebum, before he remembers he should try not to look at his handsome face so much.

“If it goes well, he said he's thinking about retiring anyhow. But I've got to prove myself,” Jackson continues, finally drawing back a bit and glancing at the others.

“Looking forward to it,” Mark says quietly, and he blinks out of his pout as Youngjae clears his throat. 

“See you guys around,” he says, cheerful voice dampened. 

Jaebum and Jackson awkwardly say their goodbyes and move on to the staff dining room, off the main hall. Jinyoung can see them whispering and he feels inexplicably embarrassed. 

“God,” he breathes out, as servers start to set out their dinner.

“So wait, I thought you were looking at Jackson earlier,” Mark says in a roundabout way, glancing at Youngjae nervously. “But you… weren't.” 

He's avoiding mentioning Jaebum's name, Jinyoung notices, and it suddenly reconnects that it's because Youngjae is his brother. “Ah!” He cries out, and then pipes down.

“Yes,” Jinyoung says stiffly, “his hat was nice, but. Not the hat I was talking about.”

“Jackson has like a million hats,” Youngjae says, mouth full. “He and Jabeum’s dorm is ninety percent hats and shoes, I’m not sure where they sleep.”

Jinyoung heaps salad onto his plate and tries not to perk up every time he hears Jaebum's name. Mark side-eyes him teasingly, but seems reluctant to press him further.

 

//

 

Later, after some first aid and legal training, Mark follows him right into cabin #8. “What is going on??” Mark demands.

“What is going on where? You and that games guy trying to suck each other's dicks off for _hors d'oeuvres_?” Jinyoung counters, digging into his luggage for a sweatshirt. It's turned crisp while they were in the dining hall, and Mark has explained it's a short, chilly hike into the woods to the fire pit.

“Shut up! You and _Im Jaebum_ , stupid!” Mark says shrilly, waving his hands around. “He's lifeguarded here for years - he and Youngjae's parents are the camp directors! They live in that big house farther up the hill.”

“Yeah, and actually, what's going on with you and Youngjae, while we're at it? He seems like a complete angel and you totally gave him the cold shoulder. What happened _there_?” Jinyoung rattles in response, tugging his pullover on and trying not to take note of how he'd definitely noticed the beautiful house up the hill, sporting a romantic tower attic and big bay windows. Tries not to immediately fantasize.

Mark heaves a sigh, hands falling helplessly to his sides. “One thing at a time,” he suggests gently.

“Okay,” agrees Jinyoung, settling on his stiff mattress. Mark had packed sheets and bedding but Jinyoung just tossed his thin old sleeping bag on top, and he's already beginning to regret it. “You first,” he challenges. 

Mark crosses his arms, but Jinyoung can tell he's giving in. “Youngjae was my camper,” he says, slowly. “He was a little too old to be here, maybe, but the director’s kids can kinda do what they want.” He pauses. 

“He was a little too old, and he's a little too young, but he — he had a big crush on me.” Mark continues.

“Has,” Jinyoung corrects, and Mark glares at him.

“We bonded,” Mark admits, “he’s really outgoing but he also has this really quiet, gentle side and he listens well, and that kinda clicked for us, I guess. He asked me to kiss him, and I… I knew I shouldn't do it but I kept thinking about myself when I was 14, you know? And how quickly I had crushes on every boy and girl. So I thought, it wouldn't hurt. He'd move on in a week.”

Jinyoung doesn't say anything; Mark is heaping judgment on himself and he figures his friend wouldn’t benefit from more.

“But I don't know, I was just 17 and I thought that wasn't so bad - but I'm 18 now, you know? And I know it wasn't a good idea. _Isn’t_ a good idea.” Mark looks anguished. “Honestly if we were in some other situation - maybe it's not completely despicable. But we're here, and I was the counselor, and I shouldn't have done it. I was supposed to take care of him.”

“Mark,” Jinyoung sighs.

“He texted me for two months,” Mark continues. “After I went back down the mountain. Two months, nearly every day, and I ignored every one. He finally gave up and I thought he'd avoid me if he saw me. I definitely didn't think he'd try to be on staff if he knew I would be.”

“It's not that bad of an age gap,” Jinyoung says quietly.

“Eventually,” Mark sighs. “But it’s messed him up _now_.”

“You didn't mess him up,” Jinyoung tsks. “He's fine. He just likes you. That's okay. But he probably would feel better and move on if you actually talked to him about it.”

They don't say anything for a long moment, and then Mark lets himself smile. “Jaebum has never seemed anything but straight as an arrow.”

Jinyoung snorts and drops his head in shame. “I have experience that indicates… otherwise.”

“I can't _believe_ it,” Mark says, looking a little starstruck. “He's dated so many hot staff girls. I've seen him fondle boobs under sweatshirts around this bonfire when we were campers. And _he's_ your one night stand guy?”

Jinyoung self-consciously tugs at his own sweatshirt. “Should we get going to that? It's almost 9,” he mumbles.

“Fine, but you're talking while we’re walking.” Mark agrees, hooking his elbow into his and dragging him out of the cabin.

“So how was it?” Mark presses as they set out. “You've barely told me anything.”

“It was… good,” Jinyoung says breathily, distracted by the sudden memory. He gazes absently up at the night sky, twinkling brilliantly above the treetops as they move farther from the campground lights.

“Good _how_? I want the juicy details. Give me a rundown. What position?” Mark whines, yanking at his arm. Other counselors are walking the same way, and past them, so Jinyoung feels nervous about being overheard. Once the gaps in the crowd lengthen out a bit, he clears his throat.

“Which time?” He whispers.

Mark stops walking. Jinyoung nearly tumbles to the forest floor as they're still linked at the elbow.

“Excuse me?” Mark mumbles. “Exfuckingcuse me you did it twice? I thought it was one time at that party! When did you do it again?!”

Jinyoung is glad for the cool night air on his flushed cheeks, the subdued starlight hopefully hiding him somewhat. “It was still at the party,” he says quietly, and then waits for another two program coordinators to pass. “We locked ourselves in Jimin’s parents room and stayed up um, all night. It was… three times.”

“ _Three_ …?” Mark gasps, dropping his arm and wobbling away. “You did it three… Three times in a row?” He wheezes.

“There were moments in between.” Jinyoung shrugs, flustered.

“When were you going to reveal this to me? You marathon fucked a complete mystery man and you weren't going to tell me? _Jinyoungie_ , when you were with Wonpil, for what? Two years, I thought you said you guys only did it once!”

Jinyoung wrinkles his nose. “We were younger, and… it's different,” he says, after a moment. 

“I'll bet,” Mark exclaims.

“Jaebum and I thought we'd never see each other again,” Jinyoung continues quietly, taking him by the hand and dragging him further along the path. “And anyway I really thought it would just be once. We did it you know… missionary in bed, and then after a bit, I got up to go clean up. The next thing I knew, he’d gotten up to follow me and was… ready to go again.”

“Oh my god,” Mark looks stunned.

“So we did it standing up. Sort of. Half over a desk,” Jinyoung mutters, cheeks pink. A large fire pit comes into view on the horizon. It's partly surrounded by a gentle hill, inset with rows of stone steps, and people are making themselves comfortable. 

“And the _third_ time?” Mark demands in a whisper as they get in line at a folding table for hot chocolate, poking him in the ribs.

“The master bathroom had a fancy jacuzzi tub,” Jinyoung says behind a discreet hand. “He drew us a bubble bath and I rode him while the sun was coming up.” 

Mark groans sadly. “I've never been so jealous in my life,” he admits.

Jinyoung takes an offered styrofoam cup of cocoa, holding it with both hands and sniffing at it deeply. The mellow sweetness blends with the aroma of burning wood, and it warms his insides and calms his bubbling nerves. He’s quiet and thoughtful as Mark collects his own serving.

“You didn't… like him from before, did you?” Jinyoung wonders, as they settle in a back row.

“God, no,” Mark insists, bumping shoulders with him. “I’ve just never done _anything_ that intense.”

“You and Baekhyun had a super steamy affair last winter,” Jinyoung counters. 

“We did not! We dry-humped in his car like two times after Hamlet rehearsals,” Mark snaps, a little too loudly. A lady in the row in front of them glances back over her shoulder disapprovingly. 

Jinyoung tries not to choke on his sip of hot chocolate. “Lovely,” he chortles.

In his peripheral vision he immediately spots Jaebum approaching the fire pit, with Youngjae at his side. Jaebum is carrying a guitar, and Youngjae looks nervous.

Dara springs up from the front row and shushes the crowd. “Some musical entertainment from Camp Wilder’s very own, Im Jaebum and Im Youngjae!”

“Hi everyone,” Jaebum waves awkwardly, “we're going to sing some songs - you're more than welcome to join in if you know them. We’ll try and keep it lowkey, you're all free to keep mingling and talking amongst yourselves.”

“He’s a musician?” Jinyoung whispers, breathless and starry-eyed as he starts strumming.

“And a dancer,” Mark says, “he’s been b-boying since he was 13. Sometimes he teaches the campers.”

Youngjae starts the folk song, voice clear and strong. Jaebum harmonizes with a softer voice, smooth and honey-sweet like an R&B star. Jinyoung feels his heart flutter and drop into his stomach.

“Fuck,” he says, voice hoarse.

“Yeah,” says Mark, tearing his eyes away from Youngjae and leaning back on his arms to look at the stars.

“Hey there,” says a deep voice, and they both turn to see Jackson, bundled up in a big baby pink sweatshirt. “Mind if I sit with you guys?”

Mark goes as pink as Jackson's shirt. “Yeah,” he says in a daze. Jinyoung squints at him in disbelief. Mark doesn't usually get flustered. 

Jackson hesitates for a moment. “I mean, no! Yeah you can sit, no we don't mind!” Mark stammers, and Jackson settles beside him with a chuckle. 

Mark and Jackson seem to hit it off, despite their lack of deep conversation. Occasionally, Jackson will graciously try to include Jinyoung in whatever little topic there is, but Jinyoung keeps mostly to himself as they often lapse into companionable silence. 

He's grateful for the break in interrogation anyways, as he can focus on Jaebum more carefully. He tries to watch him without being too obvious, ducking his chin behind his cup whenever Jaebum happens to glance up in his song.

Jinyoung indulges and lets himself fixate on Jaebum's fingers, flexing and curling around the neck of the guitar as he forms chords, the other hand gently strumming. Jinyoung remembers first admiring his fingers as they grasped a bottle of beer.

 

  
{ _2 weeks ago. The party._ }

Jinyoung doesn't love parties. It's not that he dislikes them, but when choosing between a good book or a night out on the town, he's more likely to curl up at home. House parties are a little easier though, as there's always a couch to stake out, less aggressive music and the potential for real conversation. He still usually avoids them - but now he's trying to be bolder, freer. 

So when Jimin invites their entire graduating class to his parent-free, impressively ornate mansion, Jinyoung decides he has to at least make an appearance.

He isn't drunk. Neither is Jaebum. They've wound up on a large, leather sofa in one of the cozier sitting rooms. Jaebum is grasping a beer bottle loosely, and Jinyoung's eyes keep catching the reflecting lights in the metal of his many rings.

No one introduces them. Jinyoung has curled up in the corner of the couch, and Jaebum at the opposite end, talking to a girl between them. Eventually she wanders off for a refill and never returns. 

So they end up together, occasionally chatting as a sea of raucous seniors flow past them in celebration. 

At one point, a very drunk Mark spills his vodka cranberry on Jinyoung's jeans when he leans over to kiss his cheek in greeting. Mark slurringly promises to retrieve a paper towel. He stumbles off and never returns.

“Do you know where a bathroom is?” Jinyoung asks meekly, although he's certain the cranberry has set too deeply. The pants look vintage, awkwardly high-waisted with a looser fit and a vintage wash, a cuff at the ankles. But they’re actually new, and more expensive than Jinyoung would like to admit. It embarrasses him that he’s already ruined them, and at a silly party. He usually takes immaculate care of his things, but he supposes this may be one sacrifice to his new, wilder ways.

“Sure,” says Jaebum, and Jinyoung watches his Adam's apple bob. Jaebum pauses, then, eying Jinyoung's thigh and Jinyoung frowns in question.

“Wouldn't a laundry room be better?” Jaebum wonders then, gaze lifting. “Maybe they've got one of those stain removing pens.”

He stands up, plunking his empty bottle on an end table, and extending a hand to Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung looks up at him in confusion but then nods slowly and lets Jaebum tug him out of his seat. The strength in the other boy’s arm is apparent, Jinyoung springing like he's light as a feather. He smiles to himself at the sensation and then tries to hide the smile as Jaebum’s sharp eyes seem to find it.

“Probably upstairs?” Jaebum suggests, and they meander through the giant house. Suddenly on a quest, Jinyoung feels more comfortable, even wading through a crowd. It feels like they’re a team, on an adventure while the rest of the drunk high schoolers are suddenly just background noise. They peek into closets - Jinyoung had no idea how many closets a house could have - and bedrooms, commenting on the awful shag rug in one and the garish Pollock imitation in another.

“It _is_  just a knock-off, right?” Jaebum wonders, head tilting as they stand before it in contemplation.

“It has to be,” Jinyoung says, “I don't recognize it at all.”

Jaebum raises an eyebrow at him. “You know all of his stuff? Doesn’t it all look kind of the same?”

Jinyoung blushes and ducks his head. “Of course not _all_ of it, but I'm going to be an art history major. So I'm already familiar with a lot, and I especially like abstract expressionist stuff. He’s one of my favorites, so I’m pretty sure.”

“Art history,” Jaebum repeats, slowly, as if he's tasting it in his mouth. “What do you end up doing with an art history degree?”

Jinyoung bites his lip. “I don't know. Am I supposed to know that already? Maybe curate? Or teach?”

Jaebum nods, looking him up and down. “Teaching sounds hard,” he offers.

Jinyoung shrugs, and they amble on through the upstairs corridor. They find the master suite, with a massive bathroom and an adjacent laundry room. Jinyoung finds a detergent pen in one of the well organized cabinets quickly, and then stares at it for a moment as he realizes he's never used one before.

“What do you…” He mumbles, but then Jaebum is hoisting him by his hips and settling him atop the washing machine, calmly plucking the pen away from him. Jinyoung’s voice disappears.

Jinyoung sits with burning cheeks and watches as Jaebum coolly works the detergent into his jeans, saturating the stain as if he's done it a million times.

“I have a little brother,” Jaebum says by way of explanation, and for some reason Jinyoung feels even more flustered. As if Jinyoung is some kid Jaebum has to look after.

“It's not lifting very much,” Jaebum says, frowning.

“Maybe it needs some time to work through it,” Jinyoung stammers, as he realizes one of Jaebum's hands still grips at his thigh.

“Maybe,” says Jaebum, finally lifting his head and locking eyes with Jinyoung. The reality of their positioning seems to occur to him suddenly: Jinyoung perched a little higher, knees wide, Jaebum standing in between his legs. Jaebum goes a little pink, but he doesn't move an inch. The tension between their bodies feels suddenly dizzying.

“What are _you_ going to do with _your_ degree?” Jinyoung suddenly blurts out, desperate to keep the conversation going a little longer, though he doesn't know why.

Jaebum looks amused for a moment, and then drags his gaze along Jinyoung's face, very obviously down his neck and back up.

“I don't know what I'm going to study,” Jaebum finally admits. “I think I'm taking a year off. I can work for my parents, until whenever. Until I actually know what I want to do.”

Jinyoung nods, staring into the other boy’s dark, shining eyes. He doesn't know what he wants to do either, but leading up through graduation it feels like everyone just goes straight to university, so that's what Jinyoung is doing. Jaebum’s candid expression of doubt makes him feel guilty, as if he's found out something Jinyoung  is trying to hide.

“I'm not sure I really know what I'm good at,” Jaebum says, and his hand moves down Jinyoung's thigh to his knee, fingers tucking under the crease in his jeans and then farther down his calf. Jinyoung's leg muscles twitch as he's hyper-aware of the brushing sensation, but he tries to keep his face unaffected. As if he regularly gets his legs rubbed down by hot guys in strange laundry rooms.

“I don't know if I really know who I am,” Jaebum continues, voice smooth and deep. “There's a lot I haven't even _tried_ yet.” His hand has moved down the entire length of Jinyoung's leg and his fingers are  circling his bare ankle now, gripping it and pressing his warm palm into the skin there.

Jinyoung's breathing has gone erratic, short and shallow from just this contact. He nods, body buzzing as he struggles to process what's going on. What's being said. “Do you… want to try?” He whispers.

  
_{*}_

 


	2. walk you to your door

 

 

_“I don't know if I really know who I am,” Jaebum continues, voice smooth and deep. “There's a lot I haven't even tried yet.” His hand has moved down the entire length of Jinyoung's leg and his fingers are  circling his bare ankle now, gripping it and pressing his warm palm into the skin there._

_Jinyoung's breathing has gone erratic, short and shallow from just this contact. He nods, body buzzing as he struggles to process what's going on. What's being said. “Do you… want to try?” He whispers._

_  
{*}_

 

It’s embarrassing, Jinyoung thinks to himself suddenly, how eager he must have sounded. But he had this instinct, like he was being offered a chance at something, and he wanted it. He really wanted it.

Now, staring across a circle of people at Jaebum’s handsome face as it’s lit up in shades of amber by the fire, he still wants him.

Jinyoung bites his lip and glances beside him. Mark and Jackson have both disappeared. Alarmed, Jinyoung looks around in vain, as if he’ll spot them somewhere in the clearing. In the pit of his stomach he knows they've slipped away to be alone, and he's not sure what to think. Mark can move fast sometimes - but considering his entanglement with Youngjae, Jinyoung was certain he'd be prioritizing maintaining his friendships. Jinyoung supposes he might have been wrong. 

Jinyoung glances up at Youngjae now, as they've taken a break from singing songs and he's sipping at a cup of cocoa, nestled snugly in his sweaterpaws. A handsome older man is talking to him, and Jinyoung guesses it must be his senior counseling partner, Taecyeon. Youngjae’s face scrunches with a smile, and Jinyoung feels himself smiling as well.

“My baby brother is so cute, isn’t he?” Says a voice beside him, and Jinyoung looks up in alarm to find Jaebum standing beside him, guitar in hand. He’s gripping it by the neck, and Jinyoung can’t help but mentally compare it to the grip on Jinyoung’s ankle in the laundry room. Jinyoung clears his throat and nods to clear his head. 

“He is,” Jinyoung says with a polite, light smile. 

There's a pause, as Jaebum stares down at him.

“Do you want to pretend we don’t know each other?” Jaebum asks, still standing.

Jinyoung’s smile abruptly fades. “What?” He says, feeling his face flush.

“If you want,” says Jaebum, gesturing vaguely. “This is how it could go. We can start over and pretend that night at the party didn’t happen.”

Jinyoung purses his lips, looking away in frustration. He feels a little insulted, but he’s mostly confused. Is this what he wants? Or is this what Jaebum wants?

“I’ll do it,” says Jaebum. “If it would make you feel more comfortable. We probably don’t have to see each other a lot either. It’s a big camp.”

“I don’t mind,” says Jinyoung suddenly, looking back up at him with wide eyes. He drinks in the whole sight of him, broad shoulders in an oversized, olive long-sleeve that hangs over lean legs. How he doesn’t look like a slob in such a big shirt, Jinyoung will never understand, but it looks good, draping fashionably to mid-thigh, where it brushes against the holes in his tight jeans. The bright flesh of his legs peek through and Jinyoung tries not to look there for too long, fixing his eyes on the other’s once more.

“Don’t mind what?” Jaebum asks.

“You,” says Jinyoung. “I don’t mind seeing you. And you don’t have to hide anything for me, unless you want to - or need to. I heard your parents own the camp.”

“They’re the directors,” Jaebum says, “a board of people own it. They just run it.”

“Well anyway,” says Jinyoung, trying not to roll his eyes. “We probably won’t see each other again after this week. So...”

“Probably,” says Jaebum dryly. The firelight flickers across his face, and it’s hard to read - warm organic shapes competing with the cool twinkle of stars Jinyoung thinks he sees in his eyes. “So?” he repeats.

Jinyoung hesitates, feeling very young and very shy. “So don’t ignore me,” he says quietly.

Jaebum’s eyes shift, and after a pause, he tilts his head slowly into a nod. 

“How about I walk you back to your cabin?” He offers. Something in Jinyoung's gut flutters, and he nods, standing up and brushing some pine needles off his jeans.

“Are those the same?” Jaebum wonders, glancing over at Jinyoung's legs as they set out toward the well-trodden path through the trees.

It's darker in the woods, and Jinyoung is grateful for it hiding some of his blush. “Yeah,” he says softly, thumb going instinctively to brush over the pink crescent-shaped spot on his thigh. It's well-faded, some of it vanished. “Still never completely got out,” he admits. “But pretty good for a couple guys at a party.”

“I’m still surprised I’d never met you before,” says Jaebum, as they continue. “I never really made the connection about you knowing Mark until now. And Jimin, obviously. I go down to hang out with him, Taehyung and the guys sometimes.”

“I barely know that group,” Jinyoung says. “I only really hang out with Mark.” He immediately feels nervous about admitting this.

Jaebum nods, but doesn't tease Jinyoung as he expected. “I remember him kissing you that night—it made me nervous.” Jaebum says, and Jinyoung's chest feels tight. He tries to steady his breathing. “But when he never came back I figured you probably weren't  together.”

 _Nervous_ , wonders Jinyoung, glancing at him in surprise but not saying anything. He watches his profile for another moment before tearing his eyes away. They've made it back to the paved roads of the campground, and he feels like it's too soon as they set out toward the boys’ cabins.

 

  
_{ 2 weeks ago. The laundry room. }_

Jaebum certainly doesn't seem nervous, one hand locked around Jinyoung's ankle, the other gripped against the washer.

“Do you… want to try?” Jinyoung whispers, and his eyes search Jaebum's at an almost frantic pace, desperately hoping he didn't misread this scenario.

But Jaebum's eyes gleam with something close to hunger, chin dropping as he leans in slowly. He moves his lips to Jinyoung’s, eyes still open and locked on his.

Jinyoung's eyes flutter closed partly by reflex, partly intimidated by the other’s blatant curiosity. Jaebum's lips are smaller, but they press firmly, carefully fitting against his own. Jinyoung can feel his cupid’s bow as he slips down to fit Jinyoung's puffier lower lip between his own, sighs out shakily as Jaebum's tongue tastes it so delicately. 

Jaebum tastes him like he's trying a wine, tongue swirling into his mouth and back to line along his lips like he's taking notes on Jinyoung's balance and acidity. He's never been kissed so scientifically, so genuinely curiously.

Jinyoung draws back after a moment, eyes heavy-lidded and still looking at Jaebum's lips, and then blinks up to see Jaebum's eyes have now closed. _Backwards_ , Jinyoung thinks to himself, but then Jaebum's eyes are open and on his again. They breathe each other's air for a moment, panting slightly and something buzzing between them, eyes glimmering and drinking in each other's faces. 

“I want,” Jaebum starts, voice creaky with desire.

Jinyoung is nodding before he finishes, clutching his fingers into the front of Jaebum's shirt and drawing him back to his mouth.

“You,” he finishes with a firmer voice - something bordering on a growl, yanking Jinyoung’s body forward by his ankle. Jinyoung squeaks out, but then their lips and their bodies meet, and both of their eyes close. Jaebum's warm, lean body pressed along Jinyoung sends an electric, primal pulse straight to his dick. He wraps his thighs around him, digs his heels into the backs of Jaebum's legs.

Jaebum's mouth feels confident now, assertive as it massages Jinyoung's open, licking against his teeth and huffing hot, heavy breaths that taste sweet and a little stale, like the wheat beer he's been drinking.

They kiss like they're battling, chemistry explosive as if it's their last chance to kiss someone, their first chance to feel something, their only time to be together. And for that night, it seems to be true.

Jaebum is rolling the fatty flesh of Jinyoung's lower lip between his own, fully gnawing at it until Jinyoung can taste his own blood, and he cries out weakly. Only then does Jaebum release it back to spring against his chin, saliva dribbling between them. Jaebum ducks down slightly to lick it off Jinyoung's chin, and then suckles his way down his jawline, humming at Jinyoung's delighted gasps as he moves along his Adam’s apple, to the dip of his collarbones and the hollow of his throat. Here, Jaebum pauses, puffing damp against Jinyoung’s chest. 

Jinyoung’s hands move to stroke tenderly through Jaebum's hair for a moment, catching his own breath. 

“I've never kissed someone with stubble before,” Jaebum murmurs against his skin, and Jinyoung’s heart skips as he suddenly feels nervous. He suddenly doubts himself, as if he won't satisfy Jaebum's sexual curiosity, suddenly doubts his attractiveness - curses his father’s genes for these thick eyebrows, thick lips and the dark, prickly shadow that springs back every night without fail since he was fifteen. 

But Jaebum is keening out an appreciative moan and lathing his tongue along his jawline again, and before Jinyoung can worry too long, their lips meet wetly again and Jaebum's arms wrap around him, one hand massaging at the small of his back and the other cradling the nape of his neck.

They press together closer, beyond what seems possible in their clothed state, to the point it nearly crushes all the wind out of Jinyoung's gasping lungs. He pulls back slightly to whine in discomfort and Jaebum’s arms swing under his hips, hands groping into his thighs, picking him up and stumbling through the blinding white marble of the bathroom back toward the dimmer master bedroom.

Jaebum tackles him into the soft plush of the bed, body molding against his. They're kissing again, but now the whole of Jaebum bears down on Jinyoung, groin to groin. Jaebum wedges himself between his thighs, yanking Jinyoung's knees apart for room, rocks his hips at just such an angle and God, there's so much friction. 

The bed is enormous but it still squeaks with their reckless thrusting, Jinyoung holding onto Jaebum's waist and crying out against his mouth. He can feel Jaebum's erection clearly, curving up despite his jeans, as it grinds into Jinyoung's own, tucked too tightly to his thigh. It's almost painful, and it's inexcusably masculine, and he watches the flux of emotions as Jaebum seems to process this above him.

“You're so hard,” Jaebum groans.

“Yeah,” pants an overwhelmed, nervous Jinyoung through a bruised, open mouth. “You really... turn me on.” He winces slightly at the stilted dialogue.

Jaebum huffs a tiny laugh into his neck, drawing back to look down at his pink face with shining, fond eyes. “You're so cute,” he says.

Jinyoung squeezes his eyes shut in embarrassment, and Jaebum laughs again, louder, and then moving to kiss his closed, whiskered eyes. “I’m going to fuck you so hard,” he whispers against his cheek, punctuating it with a roll of his hips.

Jinyoung grunts in reply, throwing his head back and pushing his legs up, pressing his knees into Jaebum's shoulders. Jaebum's hands scramble for the button on Jinyoung's fly, and there's a shriek from the doorway.

Jaebum and Jinyoung look up to see a group of girls, halfway jammed through the door, expressions ranging from flustered and alarmed to fully amused.

“Sorry!!” Shrieks one of them, laughing. “We wanted to find a bathroom?”

“Shut the fucking door next time, perverts!” Shouts another one, herding the others out of the room and slamming the door.

“Fuck,” mutters Jaebum, and he looks embarrassed for the first time that night, head ducked and bangs brushing over his eyes. “Forgot about that.”  

Jinyoung reaches up to cradle his face gently, wondering if he'll lose his nerve altogether. But when Jaebum's gaze meets his again, it's only gotten warmer and softer, and he takes one of Jinyoung's hands and kisses the palm. Jinyoung's breath hitches and his heart starts to race again.

“I should lock the door,” Jaebum suggests, and then he's sprinted away, and the bolt is latching loudly. They're committed now, Jinyoung thinks dizzily.

“Do you think they have any…” Jaebum is murmuring, moving to peek in an end table drawer, and he tosses a bottle of lubricant onto the bed but then hums hesitantly. “No condoms,” he says, and he looks up at Jinyoung expectantly. 

Even with the door locked, he gives Jinyoung a choice. A chance. Jinyoung beckons to him. “I'm clean,” he says confidently, having taken a test when he was with Wonpil.

“I’ve always used condoms,” Jaebum says earnestly, clambering back atop his frame, and Jinyoung nods directly into a kiss, eager to feel his mouth again.

Then they’re undressing each other, Jinyoung shrugging out of his top. Jaebum moves quickly, yanking on Jinyoung’s stained jeans and underpants, Jinyoung giggling embarrassedly as they get caught around his calves, Jaebum growling until they’re on the ground. 

Time seems to slow as Jinyoung sits up to slip Jaebum's  shirt over his head reverently, watching as it tousles his hair back. Jinyoung thinks, deliriously, that he looks like some kind of rock star. Some kind of made-up idol that gets plastered to preteen bedroom walls, with fake piercings and dusky eyeshadow. But he’s bare here, slipping out of his pants, no underwear in sight, and Jinyoung literally licks his lips at the sight of his hard cock. 

It’s bigger than Jinyoung’s, though not by much, he can't help but notice as Jaebum moves to align their bodies together again. Their erections budge insistently against each other with the resumed roll of their hips, and Jinyoung lets out a deep, shaky breath of relief. Jaebum’s eyes roll back and then he screws his eyes shut, moving to kiss Jinyoung fervently.

Jaebum moves down his throat then, licks a sloppy trail down to his chest and down, tickling his ribs with delicate fingers.

Before Jinyoung can fully process it, Jaebum has wrapped a strong hand around his cock, pumping slowly. He feels a gasp of hot air around the tip and opens his eyes to catch sight of Jaebum swirling his tongue around the crown and lowering his mouth down on him. 

The heat and suction is instantaneous. Jaebum must like it like this - so direct and without any teasing. It suits his personality, Jinyoung thinks with a smile, before throwing his head back and giving into the intense sensations.

Jaebum swallows around him, and the pulse makes Jinyoung buck his hips into his face. “Aah,” Jinyoung says shakily. “I don't want to come too fast, but you're too… good at this.”

Jaebum pulls off with a smile, resuming pumping Jinyoung's length with his fist instead. “We can try something else,” he says. 

“What do you have in mind?” Jinyoung murmurs with a teasing smile.

Jaebum swirls the tip of his thumb around the pucker of Jinyoung's entrance, cheeks flushing with an eagerness that can only be described as cute. He puffs up even more at the whimper it elicits. Jinyoung bites his lip, feverish at the thought of feeling Jaebum inside of him.

“You have to stretch me first,” he explains, already short of breath.

Jaebum's face betrays his inexperience again, but he nods slowly. Jinyoung gestures toward the borrowed lube. “I can show you,” he suggests.

Jaebum’s eyes light up, passing him the bottle and watching with hungry eyes as Jinyoung slicks up his own middle finger, reaches down and nudges Jaebum's hand out of the way. He teases his rim gently, watching Jaebum's hungry face all the while as the other can't tear his eyes away from the sight.

A few more passes in circles and then Jinyoung eases his finger into himself, breath hitching and letting out a tiny hiccup of pleasure. He presses in slowly, letting the lubricant help with the push, trying to calm his breathing. As his third knuckle finally brushes the edge, palm flattening warmly against his perineum, he releases a long sigh, adjusting to the pressure.

Then he starts to finger himself. Drawing out and pressing back in, the slide starts to feel pleasurable, the drag against his insides a familiar tickle that sends a twitch through his cock. Jaebum's eyes glitter as he watches the finger appear and disappear, enchanted by the dirty picture Jinyoung presents.

Jinyoung adjusts his position slightly, knees falling wider and prepares to add another finger, but with a lewd noise and a jolt of surprise, he feels one of Jaebum's join his instead, palm pressing along the back of his hand and following his path. 

Jaebum's finger is longer than Jinyoung's, bending along knuckle to knuckle until the tip extends a little farther, and it's more than a tickle now as they spear into Jinyoung's ass together.

“You're so warm,” Jaebum groans, and Jinyoung can see his fat cock hanging red and heavy between his knees, and he can't help but compare it to the thin fingers fitting into him now. It makes him slightly nervous and yet all the more wanton.

“M-more,” he begs, lifting his hips to meet both of their hands.

Jaebum doesn't hesitate, adding another finger so that his two cradle Jinyoung's own, and the sudden girth of it makes Jinyoung gasp. They pummel and scissor into him together, Jaebum thrusting Jinyoung's palm against himself so hard it starts to slap.

“W-wait,” Jinyoung keens, head lolling back as he tries to lift his hips away. The slide is easy now, Jaebum's added fingers coated with probably too much, the excess lube dribbling out of Jinyoung and making him tremble. “I’m, I'm going to—!” He mewls.

Abruptly, Jaebum climbs farther up, bracketing Jinyoung's body into place with his own and pressing their mouths together again. As soon as he does, he crooks their fingers upward, steering Jinyoung's finger to rub against his own prostate. Jinyoung wails into his mouth, and Jaebum drags back to watch him unravel, still confidently guiding their fingers to rub against the sensitive tissue.

 Jinyoung cries out, pushed over the edge by his own hand, and he spills hot and sticky between their bellies. Their wet fingers fall away.

Jaebum licks into his mouth again, savoring each of Jinyoung's sobs like a treat, moaning as his still throbbing erection slides in the mess on Jinyoung's stomach. “Can I? Please, I wanna,” he pants. “I wanna be inside you.”

Jinyoung takes huge gulps of breaths in an effort to ground himself again, and he nods frantically. “Yes, please,” he begs.

Jaebum is slicking himself up in the next blink of a moment, and then his girthy, flushed head is pressing into Jinyoung. They both mewl in pleasure as he slips in, an inch at a time, stretching him further.

After a moment of stillness, Jinyoung lifts his hips slightly in an effort to signal his comfort and hunger for movement. 

Jaebum draws nearly all the way out, his cut head catching on Jinyoung's rim at an angle and making him yelp. Then he slams his hips back into him, spearing his cock inside with a grunt. Jinyoung moans helplessly.

Jaebum thrusts into him slowly at first, staring down at Jinyoung's pleased face with an indiscernibly thoughtful face. As Jinyoung's cock hardens again, Jaebum's gaze grows more serious, and he hunches over him with a predatory spark.

The pace Jaebum sets is suddenly frantic, hammering into him like a beast, Jinyoung feeling like he's being split apart. But he grips his heels into Jaebum's back, takes every thrust and meets it, feeling like he might go blind with bliss. The pleasure is white hot, building in his gut once more, and he wonders if Jaebum will make him come a second time.

He doesn't wonder for long, as Jaebum pulls back and repositions Jinyoung's ankles over his shoulders, and then with a focused thrust upward, targets all of his force to ramming into his sensitive spot. He reaches a hand down and starts to pump Jinyoung’s member along with his thrusts.

Jinyoung sobs, feeling his entire body tense as another orgasm is wrung from his overstimulated body. He opens his eyes and stares up adoringly at Jaebum, who's flushed and watching with tender, equally awestruck eyes.

Jaebum's thrusting doesn't last much longer, losing rhythm and clawing at Jinyoung's hips until he comes as well. Jinyoung squeaks softly at the sensation of hot jets of cum filling him up. Jaebum keeps thrusting through his climax, and the squelching sound seems conspicuously loud in the large room. 

Jinyoung feels a little embarrassed, completely exhausted, and utterly satisfied. As Jaebum flops beside him, heads knocking on the same pillow, Jinyoung can't quite believe it. 

A few hours ago he was talking himself into making a short appearance at this party, and even more recently had eyed Jaebum across the couch as one more unattainable straight guy.

This man, Jinyoung thinks, peeking a glance at his bedmate, whose name he still doesn't know, is definitely not straight. Jaebum's eyes are shut and he's breathing slowly. Jinyoung lets his eyes drift closed, reminding himself that once he gets up (in just another minute) he's still unattainable.

  
_{*}_

 

In the present, Jinyoung and Jaebum have stopped at the door of his cabin. The stars as their only witness for the moment, they look at one another.

Their conversation long gone quiet, Jinyoung hopes his memories aren't written all over his face. But judging by the heat he feels prickling in his cheeks, it's probably obvious.

“Can you try to… keep it mostly to yourself?” Jaebum asks stiffly. He looks ashamed to ask, and Jinyoung's stomach twists and he turns his face, uncomfortable facing Jaebum's handsomeness at the moment. 

“I'm not… People don't know about me. Especially up here.” Jaebum explains. “I'm not embarrassed. I'm just not out...yet.”

Jinyoung feels a pang of sympathy in his chest and he nods numbly, cheeks flushing. He thinks about Mark mentioning all the hot staff girls Jaebum has been with. Jinyoung morosely turns for his door.

“Do you,” Jaebum starts, and then clears his throat awkwardly, as Jinyoung pauses with a hand on the doorknob. 

“Do you ever think about it?” Jaebum asks quietly, and his face is hard to read, but Jinyoung thinks he sees a blush creeping in at the top of his sharp cheekbones.

“Think about… that night at the party?” Jinyoung asks carefully.

“Yeah,” Jaebum says, and his voice has gone throaty again.

“I try _not_ to,” admits Jinyoung, turning around again and then immediately regretting it as Jaebum's expression hardens with a serious nod. “Because,” Jinyoung continues, voice straining in his urgency to explain, “I thought I'd never see you again, you know? I thought it was just a one time thing. And thinking about that too much would… drive me _crazy_.” He hopes it comes across as sincerely as he means it.

Jaebum softens, shoulders literally sloping a bit as he looks down at the ground and seems to hide a smile.

“I think about it,” he pauses with a hum, biting his lip. “A lot.” He admits, and then his eyes flick up, chin still down, looking across at Jinyoung through his bangs with raw, undeniable hunger. 

His predatory gaze sends a shiver down Jinyoung's spine, and his mouth falls open a little in surprise. 

“Nyoungie!” A voice shrieks from across the way, and Jinyoung and Jaebum both snap to attention a moment before Mark nearly tackles Jinyoung, slamming into his side and gripping him by the forearms. “Let's talk,” he says breathlessly, pushing him back into his cabin door.

Jinyoung glances up at Jaebum apologetically and they both nod awkwardly at each other, but then Mark twists the handle out of his grip and the door clicks open, sending Jinyoung tripping backward and the door slams behind them both.

It's pitch dark in the cabin, and Jinyoung struggles for a moment to find the light switch.

When the lights come up, Mark looks very nervous.

“ _What_?” Jinyoung snaps.

“Okay, so Jackson and I were talking,” Mark starts. “We took a walk and we were talking.”

Jinyoung must look skeptical because Mark snaps his fingers in his face disapprovingly. “Hey! No! _Just_ talking. Honestly! What kind of slut do you take me for— _nevermind_. We were talking! And there's some stuff you need to know.”

Jinyoung gestures expectantly. “Okay?” He urges.

“First of all: Jaebum is arranged to marry some girl. Like next _year_. Like some old school chaebol business deal. So don't, please _don’t_ get too attached, I'm begging you. I saw you guys looking all moony-eyed at each other already and,” he finally pauses for breath. “I don't know what his deal is, okay, but it's not a good idea. I know you're already like, wow this must be fate, but it's... not.”

Jinyoung doesn't say anything, feeling himself blink, feeling himself swallow, trying carefully to maintain a calm face. “Thanks,” he says, mouth dry.

“ _Jinyoungie_ ,” Mark moans sadly, reaching out to squeeze his hand into his own. “I'm sorry I interrupted. I just didn't want you getting even more hung up.”

“I know,” says Jinyoung, breathing uneven. “I get it. Thank you, really.”

“Okay so,” says Mark, taking a deep breath.

“There's more?” Jinyoung growls.

“So Jackson also has two more assistants coming up to help with games! So I wondered who did he ask to help him out, and Jackson said: oh just his friends - Amber and… Wonpil.”

Jinyoung has never heard Mark blabber this much in such a short span of time. He's probably the person Mark talks to the most, but Mark chooses words, Mark absorbs gossip rather than spills it, Mark snickers when Jinyoung savagely whispers things under his breath. 

He has never dropped two bombs on Jinyoung in one sitting, has never had to gasp for air while rattling out information. Jinyoung realizes, as his stomach lurches uneasily, as his skin goes clammy, he is in somewhat of a state of emergency.

In the midst of this hysteria, Jinyoung squeezes Mark’s hand gratefully. He could not ask for a better support during this nightmare week, even though _technically_ , this is kind of Mark's fault for begging him to come up in the first place. 

As if reading his mind, Mark offers him a deeply apologetic, deeply guilty smile. Jinyoung pretends to pass out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we having fun? Are we cheering for Markjae or Markson? I'm genuinely not sure which way that will go. 
> 
> Also apologies in advance if one of your other favs ends up a side character in this and they're a little OOC, I needed some filler folks but am trying not to use them too much. 
> 
> I promise the maknae campers will show up next chapter! Just needed to… leave this… smut here...


	3. wild thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Campers finally arrive this chapter!! Like I said earlier I apologize if anyone gets misportrayed, I’m trying to go light on the extras but it’s camp you know, so there’s always a chorus of people around you. I really wanted to expand the voices out so you can feel like they’re actually surrounded by a buncha nosy little middle schoolers.
> 
> Please keep telling me your thoughts. I love hearing everybody’s experience of a fic! Also I’m not sure how long this is going to end up being, tbh. Pls bear with me and keep me in your thoughts.. I’m trying to stay a chapter ahead aha ha (☉‿☉✿)

  
Jinyoung sits back up shortly, Mark fanning him and laughing. 

“Oh my god,” groans Jinyoung. 

“Maybe it's not that terrible,” suggests Mark. “You and Wonpil didn't end _badly_ , at least.”

Jinyoung nods uneasily. He and Wonpil could have gotten back together - probably still could - at any moment. If anything, they ended too well. Constantly meeting up again at every chance, texting each other daily, having long, emotional conversations about the future. 

Jinyoung had figured they just fizzled out - there was always something missing in terms of chemistry. They flirted well, supported one another, but kissing Wonpil was tepid. He was sweet, but it felt overly safe, and he rarely pushed Jinyoung in any way.

Jinyoung wants to feel driven. He had felt _hungry_ when he was with Jaebum for one night, and Wonpil hardly ever whet his appetite. 

Still, it will probably be awkward. Since they'd been so emotionally dependent, Jinyoung eventually pulled away very decisively, and he knew Wonpil felt hurt. When you're so young, it's inevitable, he thinks. But Wonpil had never been one to hold a grudge - hopefully he hasn't changed in that respect.

“I just can't believe it,” whines Jinyoung. “This flimsy drama plot shouldn't happen to me - I'm a good person.”

Mark hums, but it doesn't sound supportive. Jinyoung glares at him and pinches his arm. Mark howls and laughs, flopping back on Jinyoung's mattress.

“Don't take it out on me, I'm going through plenty too.” He mumbles, after catching his breath.

Jinyoung lays back and curls into his side, seeking comfort in Mark's familiar smell in this strange new cabin. “What did you and Jackson get up to?” He whispers.

Mark chuckles, low and quiet. “We didn't _do_ anything, I keep telling you. We just - get along. So we walked together and talked a little.”

“Do you like him?” Jinyoung asks, softly.

“I don't know,” says Mark. “I don't think I should get involved with a new guy when I have to fix things with Youngjae.”

“That doesn't mean you can _help_ it,” Jinyoung points out.

“I know,” Mark says, and then sighs deeply. “But I don't know how I should fix things with Youngjae, either, because I don't know if I don't still… Sort of.” He mumbles off into silence, gesturing vaguely with his hand.

“You still care about Youngjae,” Jinyoung murmurs, rubbing his arm comfortingly.

Mark doesn't say anything, swallowing audibly instead.

“It's okay,” says Jinyoung. “You're not a bad person.”

“We're both the worst,” says Mark after a shaky laugh. “We’re bad and we’re being punished by the universe.”

“For what?!” Jinyoung demands, indignantly.

“Maybe making fun of Professor Kang’s hair,” Mark suggests.

“A _blind monk_ would have words about those bangs,” Jinyoung hisses. 

“For spreading that Wonho nipple piercing rumor,” Mark adds.

“I want it to be real. If God is real. It’s. Real.” Jinyoung grits out, releasing Mark from his cuddling embrace and rolling away with a huff.

“In daycare when you cut off some of my hair,” Mark pokes Jinyoung's side.

“You were new,” Jinyoung says. “I had to show you who was in charge.”

Mark chuckles into his shoulder, curling around him like a spoon.

“Do you think we'll survive?” Mark wonders, after a moment of quiet, their breath evening out and syncing up.

“The old me wouldn't have,” Jinyoung puffs into his pillow. “But I'm new and improved.”

“ _Wild_ ,” sounds out a drowsy Mark.

“Wilder,” Jinyoung confirms, and they drift off to sleep.

 

//

 

The next day dawns bright, bringing loads of campers up the mountain. 

The counselors are spread mainly around the dining hall and its downstairs game room, the registration table set up out front, like the day before.

Jinyoung is chatting with Youngjae and Taecyeon amiably while they shoot pool in the game room. Mark keeps giving him the stink-eye from across the room, for fraternizing with the enemy. But Jinyoung can't help but be drawn to Youngjae's warm smile, and his hunky senior counselor doesn't hurt the scenario either.

“Are you in number 8?” A voice says at his elbow, and Jinyoung startles to find a pair of middle school boys eying him up and down.

“Yeah,” says Jinyoung, setting down his pool cue and smoothing out his shirt a little bit. “Are you two in my cabin?”

“No!” Snaps the shorter one, very small and pouty lipped, eyes flashing. His name tag has “BAMBAM” scrawled on it in huge block letters. Jinyoung wonders if it's wrong to feel relieved. 

“They messed up,” whines BamBam, “they put Yugyeom in 8 and I'm stuck in 7.” He gestures to his taller companion, a boy with fluffy hair and long eyelashes, who looks equally displeased.

“Well,” Jinyoung nods his head over at Mark, who crosses the room to join them. “My friend Mark is the counselor for 7, so I don't think it'll be too bad.”

Mark gives BamBam a little wave and a big, handsome smile. BamBam purses his lips and gives him a thorough scan, head to toe. Finally he gives a shrug, as if Mark just barely fulfills his requirements.

“But I'm BamBam’s _best friend_ ,” says Yugyeom, tugging at the smaller boy’s elbow. “We asked to be together.”

“There was a rush of a lot more campers this year than usual,” Mark says, “I'm sure they just had one too many other groups requesting before you. Anyway next door is pretty good! You can come over whenever; Jinyoung and I are best friends too.”

The boys glance at each other, still looking doubtful.

“How old are you guys?” Jinyoung asks, trying to keep the conversation cheerful despite their lingering disappointment.

“I'm thirteen and a half, and Yugyeom is thirteen,” says BamBam for both of them, looking around the game room and seemingly sizing up the other campers and counselors. “Is that hot lifeguard from last year here?” BamBam wonders.

Jinyoung gapes at the young boy’s boldness. “J-Jaebum-ssi?” He stammers.

BamBam frowns and sticks his tongue out. “Eugh _no_ , I mean Shownu hyung!”

Mark rolls his eyes and reaches out to ruffle BamBam's hair. “I think I saw him around earlier, not that you have any business eying him up.”

BamBam lurches away from Mark's outstretched fingers in disgust. “Hey! It took me a long time to style this,” he says, dragging Yugyeom between them for added safety. “Anyway, I’ll eye him all I want, since he probably thinks I'm too young to let me use any other body parts.”

Even Yugyeom grimaces at this statement, glancing up at Jinyoung with a healthy amount of embarrassment. Youngjae and Taecyeon burst into laughter behind them. Jinyoung looks over his shoulder to playfully glare at them and they turn away meekly.

“Don't talk like that,” says Mark, but Jinyoung can tell he'd be laughing if he wasn't trying to set a good example. “You _are_ too young.”

“Sounds a little inappropriate,” Jinyoung agrees, but he can't hide a smile.

“Have you _seen_ Shownu hyung?” BamBam counters. “His body is inappropriate.” 

Jinyoung shakes his head as Mark gives up and bursts into laughter. It's going to be a long week.

By the end of the day, Jinyoung is the proud caretaker to a group of six scrawny boys; each one more awkward and colorful than the other.

Yugyeom is surprisingly docile considering his best friend’s antics, quickly comfortable with Jinyoung's teasing and equally playful in response.

Taehyun arrives next and is much, much smaller, with curious little eyebrows and a shy smile. Jinyoung wants to carry him around in a BabyBjörn.

Seunghoon and Seungyoon are his two friends, somehow very similar and quite opposite. Seunghoon is gangly and a bit nitpicky, Seungyoon a little broader and laidback. They fit together well and treat Taehyun gently, which eases Jinyoung's mothering instinct.

Chanwoo and then Jinwoo arrive just before dinner, both initially quiet but increasingly friendly. Chanwoo has wide eyes that seem surprised by everything. Jinwoo is older and, for lack of a better descriptor, a pretty boy, and he entertains their table throughout dinner by flirting with the serving noonas.

A lot of them seem to be friends with some of the boys in Mark's cabin, which relaxes Jinyoung’s nerves about being in charge by himself.

Mark's cabin has seven boys - BamBam, Bobby, Hanbin, Junhoe, Minho, Namjoon, and Yoongi. They all look a little older and tougher than Jinyoung's campers - except for BamBam, who seems to make up for it with attitude. 

Jinyoung is grateful admin seems to have placed first time, younger campers in his own care, entrusting more experienced counselors like Mark and Taecyeon with returning boys who already seem rowdier.

As dinner winds down, Jinyoung wonders what's planned for the first night, if anything. His boys have already quieted down, taking smaller and lazier bites of dessert.

“Campers!” Jackson suddenly booms, springing up with a megaphone. The kids buzz into alertness again, taking a moment to settle down for instruction.

“Are you guys ready to get… _Wilder_??” He goads, and a portion of the kids and counselors howl on cue. Jinyoung looks about in a bit of alarm.

“It's a camp _thing_ ,” says Yugyeom, crumbs around his mouth. 

Jinyoung restrains himself from wiping them off, figuring it'd embarrass him in front of the other boys. He holds off with a smile and nods, turning back to Jackson in the front of the dining hall.

“We're going to split into four teams for the week,” Jackson explains, pacing back and forth. “Cabins will group up - three boy cabins and three girl cabins. Cabins 1-3 with….”

Jinyoung zones out momentarily as he takes in the fact that Mark's cabin is on his team, along with 9, whose counselor’s name he can't recall. He glances at the rest of the tables and wonders about the girls’ cabins - both counselors and campers have seemed a little more reserved so far. Having grown up with sisters, he knows that isn't likely to be the case for long.

Jinyoung peeks carefully to the side to sneak a glimpse at Jackson's apparent helpers: Wonpil, a girl with short hair that must be Amber, and Jaebum are standing by the kitchen with clipboards. Jinyoung's stomach twists. He didn't expect Jaebum to be involved in any of the activities besides sitting poolside. 

“Each team will proceed to a different trailhead, and one of our spirit guides will take you guys on a vision trek!” Jackson is announcing. “On this initial journey, you will find each of your own spirit animals, a totem voice to guide you through the week. But yes, there _is_ a twist.”

The campers, who have already been merrily buzzing with speculation, all hush and turn to listen quietly, with wide eyes.

“Since this vision trek is about finding your _spirit’s_ wilder voice, that means you'll be listening to your heart and getting in touch with nature. That means: no flashlights.”

The dining hall erupts with clamoring campers, some of the girls and boys outright whining.

“Is that _legal_?” BamBam is crowing from the table besides theirs, and Jinyoung's own campers shift and look at one another uncomfortably.

“How long of a trail will it be?” Taehyun wonders, putting a small hand on Jinyoung's elbow. Jinyoung shrugs and tries not to look nervous for his sake. Jackson wouldn't send them too deep into the woods if it was dangerous, right?

Jinyoung glances at Mark with a similar question on his face. Mark is too busy trying to quiet his table as they immediately started trying to spook one another, with ghosts wails and all.

Jackson is giving additional direction. “Next up! Team _Water_ , that's cabins 7-9 and 19-21: you guys are going out to the water tower, of course! Meet spirit guide Wonpil by Crafting Corner!”

Jinyoung tries not to roll his eyes - of course their spirit guide is Wonpil. He supposes getting their awkward reunion out of the way earlier in the week is for the best. He hopes the dark of the night trail will help hide any embarrassing expressions. As soon as they set out he notices the full moon hangs low and bright. No flashlights shouldn't be much of a problem, but his flushing cheeks might be.

After a quick stop at the cabins so some boys can get more comfortable shoes and sweatshirts, Jinyoung and Mark head to the arts and crafts cabin on the opposite side of camp, with their raucous group of boys in tow. 

There they find cabin 9 and his boys, and are soon joined by three girls’ cabins. As Jinyoung expected, the girls are wide awake and chatting comfortably with each other and the boys now, which makes even Mark's campers go a little shy in comparison.

Wonpil appears late, looking a little ruffled. “Hi guys, I'm your spirit guide for tonight - Wonpil! I'm new to Wilder so I got a little turned around. Sorry about that.” He says, short of breath.

“Let me run through a quick attendance sheet, then we can get the vision trek started. Counselors, if you could indicate that you've got everybody accounted for, please. Number 7 - Mark!”

Mark waves limply. “We’re here,” he says, already looking nervously at Jinyoung.

“Oh hey, it's Mark _Tuan_!” Wonpil greets cheerfully. “I didn't know you were up here. Okay, Number 8! J-Jinyoung…?” He starts to stammer a bit, finally looking up from his board, finally making eye contact.

“Here,” says Jinyoung, pressing his lips together tightly. He has a strange nervous urge to laugh. “Hi, Wonpil.”

Wonpil’s eyes have gone wide, and he inhales sharply. There's a very weird moment of silence. But then with a quick blink, nod and a smile, he moves on without comment. “Number 9! Kyungsoo!”

“All here,” says the other counselor, brows set low and looking unimpressed with whatever social mess he just witnessed.

“Number 19! Minji!” Wonpil rattles on.

Mark presses a comforting hand subtly against Jinyoung's arm. Jinyoung bites his lip and focuses his attention on picking a little leaf out of Yugyeom's hair. Yugyeom swats his tickling fingers away, but then looks thankful before turning back to a whispered conversation with BamBam.

Bom and Chaelin’s cabins are also fully present, excited, and loud. They lead the group up the wide trail, the counselors getting along with Wonpil immediately. Wonpil has always been very naturally charming, Jinyoung knows. Boys and girls alike seem to feel comfortable with him right away. Jinyoung envies the way he doesn't have to try, wishes he came off as open and sincere.

“Joshua, if you touch that wasp’s nest, you die,” Kyungsoo is shouting casually beside him.

“I think it's dried out and empty!” Says another one of his campers, crouching at the side of the road with the other boy.

“I didn't say it would be wasps,” says Kyungsoo sternly, and both boys snap to attention, rejoining the hiking group. Jinyoung watches silently, impressed by his aura.

Ahead, Mark is literally dragging a cursing BamBam away from two of his snickering cabinmates and some girls. 

One of the bigger boys turns to peek at Jinyoung's group, then falls back to swing an arm around Taehyun. “Taehyun, will you party with me tonight? None of these girls are interested, and you're the next prettiest.” His friends shriek with laughter. Jinyoung wonders if he should say anything, but he waits to see Taehyun’s reaction.

“Bobby,” Mark growls, pausing in his trudging and turning around with BamBam’s neck still tucked in his elbow. The small camper flails a little bit.

“Alright, alright, hit me up later,” Bobby says, laughing and joining his chortling cabinmates again. Seunghoon and Seungyoon silently move alongside Taehyun, eying Bobby suspiciously.

Taehyun glances back at Jinyoung and rolls his eyes, cheeks looking a little flushed. Jinyoung offers him a small, supportive smile and a matching eyeroll. 

“Okay!” Wonpil announces at the front of the group. “Counselors will send you off in groups of three or four, five minutes apart. I'm going ahead and will meet you at the water tower. No talking on the rest of your hike. Instead, _listen_. Listen to nature all around you - find the voice inside yourself. Is it a mountain lion? Maybe an owl? When I greet you on top of the water tower, tell me your new name.” 

Some of the kids titter, but a lot of them still seem nervous, even though the path looks bright and wide. 

“Have they done this before?” Jinyoung whispers to Mark, after Wonpil sets out and the counselors start grouping kids up in line.

“Not for a long time,” Mark says with a nostalgic smile. “We did it my very first year. I think JYP thought it was too cheesy, since we never did it again once he took over.”

“What was your spirit animal?” Jinyoung wonders, watching BamBam and a group of girls clustering up to gossip.

“A goose,” says Mark with a shrug. 

Yugyeom cackles beside them. Jinyoung holds backs a laugh and tilts his head at Mark curiously. “Why…?” He wonders.

“I don't know, I just panicked. Everybody else in my cabin had already picked all the cool ones. Jaebum was a wolf,” he adds, looking at Jinyoung slyly.

Jinyoung flushes, rolling his eyes. What a cliché. Still, he can't help but feel prickly and hot, can't help remembering Jaebum's hungry eyes on his.

 

 

  
_{ Two weeks ago. The master bedroom. }_

Jinyoung stirs quickly. He doesn't want to get too sticky and go home in itchy boxers like some kind of cautionary tale. So he forces himself to sit up in bed and keep his eyes away from the relaxed form of the man splayed out beside him.

Looking at Jaebum would be too tempting, Jinyoung considers, or he might feel guilty about sneaking out. But this isn't a fairy tale. They had sex - _good sex_ \- but now it's over, and Jinyoung has a life to get back to.

He pushes up off the mattress with some difficulty, legs feeling unstable as his thighs ache from being held apart. His lower back isn't much better, he realizes, as he wobbles across the soft carpet while it spasms in pain.

The dull throb of consequence is one thing, but the suddenly wet sensation of mixed lube and cum that’s slowly trickling out of him is entirely different - a shame that's more immediate, and he attempts to quicken his pace before it runs farther down his thigh.

But then someone is stopping him - a strong arm wrapping around his waist and a warm body fitting against his back. He feels a hand sweep down his side and back around the swell of his asscheek, fingers dipping into the wetness at the crux of his thighs and he gasps.

“Don't move,” says Jaebum’s voice in his ear. “It's spilling out of you.”

Jinyoung’s breath nearly hiccups at the startling sensation of Jaebum's fingers gathering fluid and pushing it back into him. Jaebum doesn't have to stretch him, he's still prepared from moments ago, so his fingers get sucked in readily, the lewd noise of it making Jinyoung blush. 

“I don't want it to come out,” Jaebum is purring, pumping his fingers in steadily. Simultaneously, Jinyoung feels the other’s dick as it bobs against the back of his thighs - how is he hard again already?

“I want you full,” says Jaebum, and Jinyoung is really trembling now, whimpering at the slick motion of his fingers, the ejaculate being reinserted. He's never felt so filthy, never been dirty talked so shamelessly. But it feels natural, and he pushes his hips back in spite of his exhaustion, nodding at the idea. Wanting it too.

“I want to fill you up again,” Jaebum says, and Jinyoung lets out a high pitched noise as he feels Jaebum's cock replace his fingers, nudging into the stickiness around his rim, easing into him as they stumble where they stand.

Jinyoung's knees tremble violently and he's certain he's about to fall over as he tries to spread his legs a bit. Jaebum clutches under his ass and along his thigh, lifting a leg entirely to the side til he hangs Jinyoung's knee off his elbow. He bends Jinyoung's weight back against himself, arching him like a taut bow. How he can push up into him at this angle, Jinyoung is disbelieving, but he feels it. 

Jaebum thrusts into him from behind, lube audibly squelching out as the pressure within expands. Jinyoung shudders in response, every nerve ending sizzling throughout his body, cock aflame and twitching back to life. 

“I can't,” he mewls, every muscle overwhelmed, leg overextended and burning. Jaebum redirects them a few paces to the side, where a large, stately desk is set against a wall. He sweeps some documents to one side and flops Jinyoung's body over it instead.

Jinyoung groans, grateful for the support but still too full, too wet with Jaebum's cock and overflowing cum. Jaebum leans over his back, short nails digging into his hips, continuing to pump into him, whispering filth against the back of his neck. He's animalistic, furiously focused.

Jinyoung scrabbles against the desk, hands fumbling for purchase as his cock is being pressed against the corner uncomfortably. But the pressure is good, and the angle of being fucked from behind is better with him able to bend over, to take Jaebum deeper.

Jaebum rams into him, slipping along through his own fluids and moaning at the hot slide of it. “Feel so good, so wet,” he says, standing straighter and flicking his hips faster. “You feel so good all full of me. Gonna fuck it in deeper,” he promises, “gonna leave you dripping til next week.”

In retrospect this is one of the grossest things Jinyoung's ever heard, and he takes extreme caution to not repeat it when he tells the story to Mark, glosses over this acrobatic round of sex as just another of the three. 

But in the moment, this round, with Jaebum promising to plant his seed deeper, with the convicted fervor of a man trying to knock somebody up, with the hot drizzle of lubricant sliding down the backs of Jinyoung's thighs and the crescent nail marks bruising into his side - it's his favorite. He feels desired. He feels claimed.

Jaebum comes with a growl, jaw digging into Jinyoung's shoulder and hips stuttering messily into his. The spurts of cum seem like they're going to propel him out of Jinyoung, the heat of it pulsing through his insides. Jaebum finally slides out with a sigh, and the dripping fluids that rush out of Jinyoung with his softening cock has Jinyoung collapsing against the desk with a yelp.

Jaebum helps unpry his fingers from the desktop, gently lays him back on the carpet, and dives down to lap at his swollen rim, tasting his own spunk and spearing it back inside of him. The pressure and heat of his mouth make Jinyoung squirm, and he moves to palm himself to relieve his still straining arousal.

Instead, Jaebum lifts his head from between his legs, gripping Jinyoung's wrist and tugging it away. He moves up to swallow down the length of Jinyoung's cock. The familiar, intense suction he'd worked over him earlier is too much for Jinyoung in his sensitive state, and he comes in seconds, hands moving to grip into Jaebum's tousled hair for some stability.

Gasping for breath, a completely turned-out Jinyoung watches as Jaebum sits back and swallows in satisfaction. He casually wipes their fluids from his mouth and jaw, staring down at him with sharp, still hungry eyes.

_{*}_

 

 

“Jinyoung hyung, you're gonna go with us, right?” Yugyeom is asking.

Jinyoung startles out of his memories, cheeks heated and feeling embarrassed. “What? Of course,” he says, joining him and Chanwoo.

“You okay?” Chanwoo wonders, and Jinyoung can hear Mark chuckling, staying behind with the last group.

“He's just imagining being Little Red Riding Hood,” Mark teases.

Jinyoung looks over his shoulder to stick out his tongue before heading up with his two companions.

The silence of the walk isn't unpleasant, and the night air is cool and refreshing, the gravel of the path well illuminated by the full moon. Jinyoung feels peaceful, for once. The light feeling lasts until they come up a steeper hill to meet the others waiting for them in an uncanny, silent circle. 

The massive water tower is built into the side of the mountain, so it's a matter of a short hop to join the rest of the team assembled on the gently sloping roof.

Wonpil sits in the center, a flashlight held beneath his face. Jinyoung slaps a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.

“Greetings. What spirits visit us?” Wonpil demands, and he shines the light on Chanwoo. Chanwoo yelps and covers his eyes. 

“Sorry,” mumbles Wonpil, redirecting the light toward his feet.

“I-I'm a hawk,” says Chanwoo decisively.

“ _I’m_ a hawk! Pick something else!” Shouts Hanbin.

“That's what I said, I was an eagle before _you_ ,” says a boy from Kyungsoo’s cabin.

“They're not the same species,” says a chubby girl beside Bom, shaking her head. 

“It's okay for there to be multiples of the same spirit animal,” Wonpil says loudly, directing the flashlight back to his own exasperated face. “Welcome, noble hawk brother. Sit down.”

A few kids feebly clap. Jinyoung snorts through his hand, having to turn away.

“Next!” Wonpil blares the light on Yugyeom.

“Uh,” says Yugyeom. Some of the campers giggle.

“I'm a… jellyfish?” He asks, shrugging his shoulders.

“No _way_ ,” a girl with glasses sits up on her knees. “You _did not_ say we could be aquatic.”

“That doesn't make sense for this environment,” says Namjoon.

“Even if he was a fish or something, everything up here is freshwater,” says the girl with glasses.

“Doesn't matter! Welcome our psychedelic jelly brother!” Wonpil shouts, and the flashlight on his face reveals a comical end to his patience.

Some of the kids clap, and Jinyoung moves to follow Yugyeom to a seat, but then the light is blaring in his eyes. He didn't expect to be participating. 

“Park Jinyoung,” says Wonpil lowly, “what _are you_?” 

“It's supposed to be _what spirits visit_ ,” whispers a camper crossly.

“Why are you using his real name?” Kyungsoo asks. “Avoiding real names is the whole point of the _thing._ ”

“You’re ruining the atmosphere,” whines Bobby.

“Would our bunny brother please grace us with his silence??” Wonpil demands, swinging the light beam into Bobby’s eyes until the boy crumples over, laughing. The light returns to Jinyoung.

“I’m,” Jinyoung's brain freezes for a moment. “I'm a fox,” he blurts out, and watches as Wonpil brings the light back to his own face, a frown playing across his dramatically cast features.

“That's true,” he says, crossly. 

“It's actually: ‘ _welcome_ , fox brother,’ ahjussi!” Shouts a girl.

“Who called me _ahjussi_??” An embarrassed Wonpil aims the light directly at the offending girl, who squeals and hides behind a snickering Chaelin.

At this opportunity, Jinyoung quickly slips behind Yugyeom and sits down awkwardly, hoping the commotion over his spirit naming doesn't look too obvious. Luckily, Mark's group arrives just then and they're treated to a similarly silly, argumentative ceremony. 

After Mark confirms he _really does_ want to be a goose for the third time, Wonpil hands out packets of cookies and little telescopes for looking at the stars. He leaves Jinyoung's group for last, and then settles beside him in silence.

“Hi,” prompts Jinyoung carefully, expanding and contracting the little telescope.

“Hi,” says Wonpil, and Jinyoung can feel him looking directly at his face. “It's been a while,” he says.

“It has,” Jinyoung agrees, putting the telescope to his eye and tilting it around to look at him. Wonpil is just a blur at this short distance, which feels more comfortable. 

“Mark wrangled you into this?” Wonpil wonders.

Jinyoung nods, dropping the telescope into his lap and glancing around. All of his campers are still alive. It's too early to feel proud, but he does anyhow. Six hours and nobody lost or eaten by a bear.

“Jackson is in my fencing class,” Wonpil explains. “He’s always been such a good guy, I figured I couldn't turn him down. Even though I don't know the first thing about kids.”

It's comforting to hear Jackson is a good guy, Jinyoung thinks, glancing at Mark across the water tower. He's muttering and snatching cookies away from Namjoon and Hanbin, who are laughing and smiling at him fondly despite his punishment and sour countenance.

“I’ve missed you a lot, Jinyoung,” Wonpil says softly, and Jinyoung feels him brush his shoulder against his own. 

Jinyoung nods, biting his lip and looking down at the telescope again, nervous. “It's been a while,” he repeats.

Wonpil stiffens a bit, he can feel it in his arm. Jinyoung drags his eyes up to meet his, and he finally sees what he's been avoiding. Hurt. A little humiliation. The bare nakedness of missing somebody and realizing you're not able to get them back.

But then Wonpil blinks, nods, and moves off to another group with a shaky smile.


	4. woops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [JB calling JY pretty](https://vine.co/v/5bBPMA3iWlQ) killed me dead guys. The way Jinyoung's face fuckin just stiffens up wtfffff I hate JJP they give me nothing but pain.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy~

 

 

“Morning, Jinyoung,” chirps Dara, hovering over his table with a clipboard in hand.

“Good morning,” Jinyoung croaks, punctuating his greeting with a big yawn. 

“How was the first night with your campers?” She asks, looking around the table at the various levels of energy.

“Fine,” sighs Jinyoung, not wanting to embarrass Seungyoon for keeping a bunch of them up with his snoring. From the knowing smile on Dara’s face, he's sure she's used to hearing about it from first time counselors and campers alike.

“Great! Today at free time you have two hours duty at the Crafting Corner,” she instructs, patting him on the head.

“Got it,” says Jinyoung, “what kind of stuff am I supposed to do on duty?”

“Just hang out and craft with the kids,” she says. “Make me a bracelet. Paint a little ceramic cat for your mom. Make sure the kids don't hack their fingers off.” She chuckles darkly.

Chanwoo and Taehyun glance at Jinyoung queasily on either side of him.

“How many fingers do you think have been lost since camp opened, noona?” Seunghoon asks, pretending to be concerned and leaning forward.

“Probably like, thirty-one,” says Dara coolly. “We really shouldn't keep letting you guys use saws.”

Seunghoon sits back and cackles, and Yugyeom allows himself a giggle when Dara winks before hurrying off. 

“Do you guys have plans for free time? Anybody wanna craft?” Jinyoung asks the boys.

“Pool,” says Yugyeom, gesturing at BamBam's table behind them. 

Taehyun, Seungyoon and Chanwoo all agree. 

“We were thinking of hanging out at the lake for a little bit,” says Seunghoon, elbowing a distracted Jinwoo.

Jinyoung purses his lips as he realizes all of his campers will be by one of the lifeguards. It's inevitable that he visits the spot Jaebum is on duty. They might even split shifts, Jinyoung worries, and he might accidentally see him twice. The thought makes him queasy with nerves and he clutches at his tea anxiously.

“Who… who is that?” Jinwoo is wondering, unable to turn back to the table. 

Across the dining hall, a beautiful young lady is greeting Dara with a smile. She's dressed elegantly, too elegantly for a visit to summer camp, in a floaty dress and high heeled sandals.

“I don't know,” says Jinyoung, stomach twisting into knots.

“Pretty,” mutters Taehyun, and Jinyoung nods, turning back to his breakfast, only to find he's too nauseous to eat. 

He looks up and sneaks a peek at Mark's table. A few of his campers are watching the mystery girl too. Even BamBam, although he looks more suspicious than awestruck. Jinyoung makes eye contact with Mark, whose eyes have gone round. “I think that's _her_ ,” Mark mouths at him.

Although he's completely silent, Jinyoung understands him perfectly, having spent half of his life whispering with this boy. And without any detail, he pieces together who Her must be. 

This vision of a girl must be the one Jaebum is engaged to marry. 

As if on cue, Jaebum appears at the other end of the hall, leaving the staff dining room and then slowing down as he notices the girl.

She seems to notice him too, but is caught in conversation with Dara and looks conflicted about moving to greet him. She watches him with wide eyes, glancing back and forth between him and the program coordinator.

His expression is cloudy, going blank as he passes her with nothing but a polite nod and a stiff smile. He continues out down the stairs with his head down, and Jinyoung releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

  
//

  
There are morning games, lunch, and then a short mandatory quiet time. Jinyoung feels them slip by, feels himself acting strange and stiff, preoccupied. It frustrates him that he's aware of his behavior and can't seem to change it. He hopes during free time he can prove to his campers that he's a better counselor than this.

Duty at the Crafting Corner doesn't sound glamorous, but he's pleasantly surprised by the mix of kids endeavoring in various projects. The woodworking section is thankfully overseen by an older man who looks much more capable than Jinyoung.

Jinyoung is charmed by Soohyun, the head crafts girl, who isn't much older than many of the campers but deftly oversees everything else: purchases, jewelry, handing out paints and helping with lanyards.

Jinyoung selects a little leather bracelet kit to attempt and looks for a table outside. He's surprised to see BamBam and settles with his buzzy group as they work furiously at long, sparkling lanyards.

“I thought Yugyeom said he was going to the pool with you, BamBam,” he says by way of greeting.

BamBam blinks up at him disinterestedly. “Oh, you're #8, yeah. I was but then Jimin invited me to do this. It's shadier here but you can still see the pool.” He gestures across the camp road, and sure enough, there's a clear view to the fenced off pool area. 

Jinyoung spots some of his campers and moves to wave.

“Don't!” Hisses Jimin, a girl with round cheeks. She actually swats at his hand.

Jinyoung draws back, insulted. 

“You'll give us away. They can't know we're _looking_.” She explains.

“At what?” Jinyoung chuckles, moving back to stringing little beads on a cord.

“Shownu,” says BamBam blithely.

“And Hanbin,” says another girl.

“Cute boys,” summarizes Jimin, returning to her lanyard.

Jinyoung outright laughs, unsure if he's supposed to guide these young hearts in a better direction or allow them to indulge. It could be worse, he supposes, they're not spying on a shower room or actually sneaking away with anybody.

“Who is the cutest?” He asks, glancing up from his work.

“Hanbin,” repeats the second girl insistently.

“I don't know,” Jimin heaves a sigh. “It's early, still. Sometimes boys get cuter when you find out more about them.”

“How mature of you,” Jinyoung pretends to be shocked, putting a hand over his heart.

“You know like, I kind of think Yugyeom is cute, but he still seems so shy,” she continues, gaze moving to the gangly figure on the diving board.

“What?!” Shrieks BamBam, nearly dropping his keychain.

“He's your best friend! You tell me. Does he warm up...?” She giggles.

BamBam looks suddenly very uncomfortable. Jinyoung watches as his face flickers between pink and purple, matching Jimin’s gaudy lanyard. Finally he seems to collect himself and pouts his mouth very small, returning to work on his craft. “Yugyeom's not cute,” he insists.

“What?” Jimin, Jinyoung and the other girl chorus together.

“He's adorable,” Jinyoung says, working on another cord of beads.

“But he's not like, sexy,” says BamBam, not looking up. “He's just nice.”

Jinyoung watches him braid furiously, and decides he shouldn't say anything further.

“What do you guys think about Mark?” Jimin moves on.

Jinyoung bursts into laughter.

  
//

  
With his craft and gossip time fulfilled, Jinyoung heads to the lake, fiddling nervously with his new bracelet.

His other campers had dispersed after their time at the pool, so he figures his best bet would be finding Seunghoon and Jinwoo at the lake. This also means potentially running into Jaebum, but Jinyoung decides he should be brave for his campers. Or at least sly and elusive, like his spirit animal.

Jinyoung follows the sparse trail markings that point to the lake, warily picking his way through the lighter woods to one side of the campground.

He turns a corner around one last tree and nearly trips over Jaebum setting out a large sign. LAKE CLOSED TO CAMP WILDER, it blares, NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY.

“Oh my god,” breathes Jinyoung, stumbling back. So much for being elusive.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum says slowly, as if still getting used to the shape of his name. He's in a big, loose tank top that shows too much skin that's already bronzing from the sun. Not that there's anything Jinyoung hasn't seen.

“It's closed?” Jinyoung wonders, moving cautiously around him to peek at the large, green lake stretching out beyond a muddy shore.

The empty beach looks a little mysterious, devoid of the buzz of campers Jinyoung has already grown accustomed to. Several yellow plastic canoes are spread around a tall, faded lifeguard chair, and a small shed Jinyoung assumes is meant for storage looks a little creaky. There's a long dock but it looks like it hasn't been used for boats for a while.

“We close early so I can put everything away. I think I saw a couple of your boys earlier,” says Jaebum, already dragging a boat over to the side of the boathouse to where a short hose is hooked up.

“They didn't drown,” Jaebum reassures him, cracking a dark smile as he turns on the water.

Jinyoung admires each perfect tooth, then turns away in frustration.

“You wanna give me a hand?” Jaebum asks, and Jinyoung turns back, cheeks flushing and mind already bubbling up with filthy thoughts. But Jaebum is just gesturing to the other canoes along the shore, and Jinyoung moves out to drag them in. 

They wash them down in companionable silence, Jinyoung stepping delicately in hopes of keeping his shoes relatively clean.

“Let’s put ‘em away,” says Jaebum, and Jinyoung eyes the tiny shed skeptically, wondering how the boats manage to fit. He helps lug them in anyhow, and Jaebum angles them into a rack. 

There's a little window in the slanted roof and the dusty sunlight that filters through lights up the yellow plastic of the boats. It casts Jaebum in a warm, enticing gold, and as he files the last canoe away, Jinyoung lets himself stare at his broad back. It's intoxicating to be close to him again, even in such a mundane manner.

Jaebum turns and his face is soft. He reaches a hand out and traces it up Jinyoung's arm. Jinyoung watches with bated breath, not wanting to look Jaebum in the eye. But then he's dusting it along Jinyoung's neck, and cupping Jinyoung's cheek to turn his face to him.

The moment they make eye contact Jinyoung releases his breath. There's a flood of relief to finally let himself just look at Jaebum - this chemistry suddenly so familiar and electric, this want he has overwhelming all of his senses.

Jaebum steps closer, but something in Jinyoung suddenly aches, and he has to tug Jaebum's hand away.

“I should go,” Jinyoung says shakily, turning to leave.

“I thought you didn't want me to ignore you,” Jaebum says abruptly.

Jinyoung stays turned away, but he pauses, curling and uncurling his fingers nervously. “I think that might've been a bad idea,” he says.

“Did Mark say something bad about me?” Jaebum asks with a dry laugh, but the following silence wipes the smile from his face. “Did he _really_?” 

“It's nothing bad,” says Jinyoung. He pauses, listening to the sound of the lake and growing more anxious. Maybe he should just be honest. He's jealous over someone he has no right to. He wants someone he barely knows.

“I just don't think I should be involved with somebody getting married in a year,” he grits out, feeling his ears flush with frustration. 

He peeks over his shoulder to see Jaebum's reaction, and it immediately confirms the story. He's gone a little icy, his jaw locking. 

Jinyoung moves toward the door, but Jaebum grips him by the wrist, tugs him back. He's quiet for a moment, drawing air in slowly as he seems to steel himself.

“Nayeon’s parents are chairmen of the board. They own the camp,” he says. “My family owned and ran it for a few generations, but lost it when my dad was a kid. Now the board pays him to stay on as director, but he wants it back. Her parents were willing to work this out.”

Jinyoung tries to twist his wrist out of his grip. “It's none of my business, I know,” he says feebly.

“It's not,” agrees Jaebum, eyes sharp. “And I thought you were sure we probably wouldn't see each other again after this week. So what's the problem here?”

Something in Jinyoung's chest burns. “Nothing,” he says, eyes on the floor. “Nothing's the matter.”

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum says, softer, plaintive. He tugs him again, and Jinyoung tries not to catch his eyes but the spin toward Jaebum leaves him staring up at him. 

Jaebum clutches his wrist and drags his hand up to his chest, and Jinyoung lets his fingers splay across the width of it, feeling a heartbeat fluttering at the same rapid pace as his own.

“I don't want Nayeon,” he admits. “But I have an obligation to my family, and this camp.”

Jinyoung is trying not to pout, trying to fight the childish, territorial feelings bubbling up within him. Jaebum is not an object, least of all his to own. He understands clearer and clearer - the older he gets, the more he’ll be confronted with unfairness. He's already constantly marveling at the unfairness of the adult world, where people even trade their children's hearts for stakes in companies.

And more and more, he realizes their night together was Jaebum indulging in fantasy. Didn't _know_ what he'd major in, _probably_ work for his parents - all of these half truths he'd told, dissolving now to reveal the concrete of his future. A future decided long before he smiled at Jinyoung from across a couch.

Jinyoung himself is a fantasy that Jaebum admits he indulges in - _thinks about it a lot_. But it's not real anymore. Even now, standing across from each other in the daydreamy afternoon light of the boat shed, dust motes glittering around them, it doesn't feel real.

“I should go,” Jinyoung repeats, voice edging into a whine, “I should get back to my campers.”

Instead, Jaebum crushes him to his chest, and their desperate mouths finally find each other.

They kiss messily, each of them knowing it's not a good idea, will hurt rather than help in the long run. But it feels good, and it feels real. The sensation of Jaebum's tongue in his mouth, tasting so familiar already. The smell of lakewater, earth and sunscreen grounding them.

“It'll just be one more week,” Jaebum says against his lips, wet with their spit and swollen. Then he's pressing a suddenly quite compliant Jinyoung against the wall of the shed, kissing down his neck, hands running along his sides.

“ _Jaebum hyung_!” A cheery voice calls from outside.

Jaebum's hands evaporate off of him like they've been burned, and he stumbles back with a panicked expression. Jinyoung turns away for a moment, tugging to straighten his t-shirt and then stumbling out of the shed with a smile.

“Oh, I came to see if you needed help with the canoes but, Jinyoung hyung is here,” Youngjae steps up just in time, looking entirely unsuspecting.

Jinyoung tries to keep a smile on his face even though the sight of him twists his stomach up a bit. He doesn't want to think about how Jaebum must feel, trying desperately to hide from a brother who's going through so much of the same thing. Jinyoung wonders if Jaebum knows about Youngjae, wonders if Youngjae knows about Jaebum, feels dizzy and tries not to look like it.

“Youngjae-yah,” greets Jaebum, stepping out of the shed and making a show of taking his time to lock it, and his voice sounds stiff even to Jinyoung.

Youngjae didn't look suspicious until now, biting his lip and suddenly giving Jinyoung a second, more inquisitive glance. But as Jinyoung cozies up to him and takes his hand, turning him back toward camp and swinging their arms, he melts into a warm smile again. 

“How is junior counseling going?” Jinyoung asks, and sees Jaebum join their trek on Youngjae’s other side in his peripheral. 

“Good,” says Youngjae shyly, “I think I'm good at it. I broke up a fight today.”

“A fight?” Jaebum snaps to attention. “You should have let Taecyeon hyung do that, don't get in the middle of stuff.”

“It wasn't physical,” Youngjae says, waving his hand coolly. “Two of the boys from Mark and Jinyoung hyung’s cabins were yelling at each other in the games room so I just separated them and we talked.”

“One of my kids??” Jinyoung repeats, dropping Youngjae's arm and covering his mouth in horror. “Who _was_ it? I thought they would be okay, I came looking for two of them at the lake but I didn't know it closed early and—!”

Youngjae laughs and squeezes his arm. “It's fine! Something little like this happens every day. And you can't always follow them around, they'd hate you.”

“Who was fighting?” Jaebum asks.

“BamBam,” Youngjae chuckles a little at the name, “and Yoogun or something.”

“BamBam and Yugyeom!” Jinyoung shrieks. “But they're best friends!”

Youngjae shrugs, looking thoughtful. “Friends have a lot to fight about,” he says.

They're coming back up toward the dining hall now, and Jinyoung immediately makes eye contact with Mark, talking lowly with BamBam. Mark slowly sees Youngjae, and then Jaebum, and his expression hardens a bit. Jinyoung feels embarrassed, as if Mark can see Jaebum's kisses all over his skin. 

He looks around for Yugyeom instead, hoping for some firsthand insight.

“Hey,” says Jaebum, but Jinyoung doesn't want to risk looking at him.

Instead, he feels soft fingers tugging at his elbow, and he holds back a noise before turning and realizing it's just Youngjae. Youngjae gestures at Jaebum, who's pointing across the way to where he's spotted Yugyeom sits on a bench, alone.

Jinyoung murmurs a soft thanks and rushes away.

“Yugyeom,” he says, sitting down next to the somber looking boy. “What… happened? Do you want to talk about it?”

Yugyeom shrugs, looking embarrassed. “We fight about dumb stuff sometimes,” he admits. 

“Was _this_ dumb?” Jinyoung asks, after a pause.

“I dunno,” says Yugyeom uncertainly, fiddling with a loose thread from the hole in his jeans. “I just said, it felt like he was ignoring me since he started hanging out with all those chatty girls. And he got really mad about it.”

Jinyoung nods and stays quiet a moment as he thinks of what to say.

“It's normal for friends to hang out with other people they have other things in common with,” he says. “If Mark tried to talk to me about basketball I'd explode from boredom. So he saves most of that for his teammates.” 

“What does BamBam have in common with a bunch of _girls_?” Yugyeom wonders.

“Just… interests,” Jinyoung says, not wanting to tell Yugyeom that their crafting table conversation was entirely about cute boys. “Lanyards,” he says awkwardly.

“I hate lanyards,” Yugyeom confirms. “It's always like, okay, you braided a thicker rope, good job. Then what? You use it as a keychain or something? What's the point of all that braiding for just a braid?”

“Yeah, you should at least make a bracelet or something,” Jinyoung chuckles at his sudden rant, moving to thumb absently at his newly crafted bracelet. Instead he finds his wrist bare, and a jolt of panic strums through his body, realizing he must have lost it already - maybe even at the lake with Jaebum.

“It's the first day,” says Jinyoung shakily. “You'll have plenty of time to patch things up.”

Yugyeom shrugs, looking across at BamBam sadly. BamBam is pointedly avoiding looking in their direction, Mark herding him into a group with his own cabin.

Jinyoung's other campers gather around them as it gets closer to dinner time. They're buzzing with stories from their free time, settling comfortably around him and Yugyeom. 

“If you need to talk about it anymore,” whispers Jinyoung into his ear so it tickles, flicking at Yugyeom's shirt collar. “You can tell me. Anything.”

Yugyeom giggles and bats his fingers away.

  
//

  
Dinner is a warm affair; the other boys seem to subtly include Yugyeom in more of their conversations, including dozens of rounds of rock-paper-scissors to decide who drinks a disgusting concoction of everyone's combined leftover drinks in a single cup.

Despite the icky circumstances, Jinyoung still feels all fuzzy and hopeful seeing Seungyoon swing an arm around Yugyeom. The boys all crowd in to watch Seunghoon tentatively sniff the murky beverage. 

“Hoon about to do it!” Mino shouts from where he stands behind him, having lured some of Mark's other campers over to watch as well. Even some of the girls tables are peeking across. 

To much commotion, Seunghoon coolly slugs it back in one try, and the kids erupt as if he's done the impossible. He licks his lips with a satisfied noise and even Jinyoung screeches in horror with some of the campers.

The kids start to disperse as Jackson comes walking through, pausing to pat Seunghoon proudly on the shoulder. “What a man!” He cheers.

“Are you guys ready for tonight's activity?” Jackson continues loudly, weaving his way around the tables. He sticks his finger in a girl’s whipped cream topping on some hot cocoa, and she shrieks and swats his hand away. He continues on his path, tasting his finger as the kids giggle.

“Tonight… We're going to experience a little cinema _under the stars_!” He announces, with a broad sweep of his arm.

The kids hush to a buzz now, nervous excitement rippling through the crowd.

“Pack up your sleeping bags and take ‘em out to the sports field! We're going to string up a screen and project a spooky movie!! Then you guys can spend the whole night out there, looking at the stars and staying in touch with nature!”

“You mean _bugs_ ,” a girl snaps, and he pats her on the head with a smile.

“Bugs are a part of nature,” he confirms, continuing to wind through the tables.

“Isn't it going to get too cold?” BamBam is whining, looking displeased since the scary movie was announced.

Jackson scurries over to his table, crouching down to squeeze between him and Mark. “You'll just have to cuddle up close to your cabinmates I guess!” He singsongs, crushing them into a tight group hug that leaves both camper and counselor pink and breathless.

  
//

  
Getting six boys and seven sleeping bags settled snugly on the field is quite a task, and Jinyoung feels like a literal shepherd. Once their group has calmed down and they're all watching administrators fiddle with the projector, Jinyoung spies Yugyeom sitting stiffly straight and staring at BamBam a few bags away from him in Mark's group.

Jinyoung crawls over to him and nudges him gently.

“What's up?” He wonders, as Yugyeom's face looks genuinely concerned.

“BamBam can't do scary movies,” he says. “Not alone.”

Jinyoung peers at BamBam, who doesn't seem to be close to any of his cabinmates. He's gnawing  at his lip, zipping and unzipping his fuzzy hoodie nervously.

“Maybe this is a good time to remind him why he still needs his best friend. Especially since he's not even allowed on the girl’s half of the field.” Jinyoung says quietly.

Yugyeom glances across the grass to where the girls are squabbling to pick spaces and working out elaborate pillow fortresses. Jimin seems to perk up as she notices Yugyeom's gaze and sends him a tiny heart shape with her fingers. Yugyeom rolls his eyes and makes a big scoffing show of pretending not to see, acting busy rearranging his pillows, even shoving an unsuspecting Jinyoung out of the way.

When Jinyoung sits up laughing, Yugyeom has gathered a blanket and a pillow and is meekly creeping up to BamBam’s spot, settling safely close beside him. He curls up his legs and wraps the blanket around himself and patiently extends a hand, palm up. Neither of them look at one another.

Jinyoung watches nervously, pressing his lips together and holding his breath, as if a change in the air would somehow ruin the moment.

BamBam peeks at the offered palm for a moment. As the title credits start and kids start shutting off flashlights and quieting down, he discreetly interlaces their fingers. Jinyoung lets out a huge sigh.

The stars are still very bright, unmuddled by the warm campground lights and spilling across the dark of the sky. Jinyoung wants to ignore the movie, flop on his back and let the sight overwhelm his senses until he drifts to sleep, but as he crawls back to his thin sleeping bag he catches a glimpse of Jaebum in the distance, standing awkwardly by the road that runs through camp.

He isn't sure what made him look that way in the first place, an instinctive tickle in his neck. But he did and now Jaebum's eyes widen earnestly, as if he'd been waiting for it to happen, and then he fumbles something out of his pocket.

It's Jinyoung's bracelet, and he dangles it next to his face with a small, dopey smile. The expression flickers away as he pockets the bracelet, looking around as if he's suddenly self-conscious. Jinyoung’s eyes light up and he covers his mouth to hold back a peal of laughter. 

He glances around to see if everyone seems settled and if it's safe to step aside for a moment, and once he's satisfied with his campers wrapped up in the movie, picks his way through the field nimbly.

Jaebum watches him approach for a moment before turning with a playful smirk and briskly walking off.

Jinyoung is puzzled but gives chase. As he passes Mark toward the back of the crowd, his friend reaches up and yanks sharply at his sweatshirt, tugging him back and holding on. “Bad idea,” Mark whispers up at him.

“I'm just going to the _bathroom_ , Mark,” Jinyoung hisses at him.

Mark glares back up at him but is suddenly distracted as Youngjae bounces by his side and nearly spills an entire bag of popcorn on him. They both laugh awkwardly as Youngjae tries to clean up the mess of kernels from Mark's lap and Jinyoung twists his shirt out of Mark's loosened fingers and slips away.

He takes long steps to try to catch up and manages to catch a glimpse of Jaebum slipping into a side entrance to the dining hall bathrooms. His heart flutters wildly in his chest.

Jinyoung tries to tell himself he's just going to retrieve his bracelet, his only souvenir so far of this cozy little camp.

But his heart slams against his ribcage as his shoes squeak down the hall to the men's room, and his breath quickens as he realizes Jaebum has gone into the last stall, left the door wider open than the others. He slips into the stall, and there's Jaebum, seated on the shut lid with his thighs splayed open, thick and inviting, eyes gleaming up at him.

All thoughts of his bracelet vanish, and his mouth is watering as Jaebum beckons wordlessly. Jinyoung slides the lock on the door behind him with shaking fingers. It clicks into place and then Jaebum is manhandling him onto his lap. 

Jaebum's warm hands are pressing down into his shoulders and adjusting his legs so that Jinyoung kisses down into his hungry mouth, so that Jinyoung's thighs brace around his slim hips. He props Jinyoung's feet back and against the wall, so someone would only see his own shoes on the floor.

They're kissing loudly though, and Jinyoung knows it would be too loud to hide, moaning tenderly as Jaebum starts to grind their hips together.

It feels like it's been ages, like they've been waiting to touch for years, instead of hours. His teeth clack awkwardly against Jaebum's, each overdoing it and opening their mouths wider, like they're trying to devour one another.

Jaebum's tongue licks up and into his mouth, strokes his own gently, and then he pulls back for a moment and watches a drop of their combined saliva slink out of Jinyoung's pink, swollen lips. He licks it away, and Jinyoung's stomach flips. This filthy side to Jaebum is intoxicating, makes Jinyoung dizzy with desire, ready to sink to his knees or bend over backwards.

But then Jaebum pauses their movements and moves him back to slip Jinyoung's bracelet out of his pocket. He ties it carefully around Jinyoung’s wrist, tongue stuck between his teeth as he frowns in focus. Jinyoung watches, breathing still heavy and feeling suddenly embarrassed. The moment suddenly feels strangely intimate, like it's a gift rather than his original possession. Jinyoung's heart aches at the delusion of it, their continued play in stolen moments and bathrooms that aren't their own.

But then Jaebum's hands slide back up his arms, cradling his face and drawing him back down. This kiss goes slower, burning with new intensity as they both seem to consent to their shared fantasy for now.

They continue to grind, pace speeding up until Jinyoung is practically bouncing against him. Breath hitching, Jinyoung feels their growing erections straining against each other. He's certain it's one of their worst ideas - dry humping in an easily accessible camp bathroom. 

But as Jaebum loudly groans into his mouth and starts to jerk more sharply against the heat of his groin, Jinyoung can't help but let his nerves melt away. He can only spread his thighs more to let him drive further against his ass, to let himself sink wider over Jaebum's thickness.

Jaebum is whimpering a little, fucking up against him, and Jinyoung can tell from the way he clutches his hips so bruisingly, can tell from the way they've stopped fully kissing and seem to just nibble and breathe against each other's mouths. He can tell Jaebum's close, and Jinyoung's not far behind.

He's so focused on getting him there, he doesn't hear someone step into the room. Doesn't hear the tentative steps and a clearing of a throat.

He can only hear Jaebum's breath, feels his fingers digging into his hip and another hand clutching his skull to press their cheeks together, skin clammy from exertion. He feels each stroke of Jaebum's length as it drags along his inseam, feels his own cock harden further. He remembers riding him in the fancy bathtub at the party, tries to circle his hips around slowly like he liked before, is too invested in the moans he's dragging out of him.

“Guys…?” Says a familiar voice, and there's a hesitant knock on the stall door.

Jinyoung lets out a distressed noise, hips stilling for a moment, but Jaebum's eyes are squeezing shut and his nails are digging into Jinyoung's hips, dragging him harder down against his dick. 

“Guys, I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed, and I'm not - I won't report you to your counselors or anything I just think you should stop, whatever you're… up to.” Says Wonpil’s voice, and the door rattles.

Jaebum comes, grinding his teeth together in an attempt to muffle his groan. Jinyoung can feel the pulse and shift of Jabeum's cock through his basketball shorts, even through the thickness of his jeans. He's so close too, but Wonpil is here and how are they going to make him leave and what can he do, he’s so close.

Jaebum jams a hand awkwardly down Jinyoung's jeans, under his briefs, and tugs up at the head of his cock. The warm touch of skin instead of just fabric and friction sends Jinyoung over the brink. He lets out a mewl, Jaebum quickly sealing over it with a kiss.

Jinyoung spills into Jaebum's palm and he pulls it back with most of the mess contained. There's another meek knock and Jinyoung almost feels bad for Wonpil trying to be sensitive to what he thinks are two horny campers. 

Jaebum wipes the cum from his fingers with toilet paper, looking up at Jinyoung with dark, heated eyes. Jaebum isn't out, so Jinyoung knows this confrontation could be worse for him - not just awkward, but revealing. 

He sits, conflicted, sagging a little in Jaebum's lap. 

Another knock and Jinyoung finally lets down his feet, scoots off and then opens the stall part-way, blocking the rest from view.

Wonpil's amused face completely drops.

“Jinyoung,” he gasps.

“Could you give us a minute?” Jinyoung begs. “I’ll talk to you later, but if you could just—just give us one minute.”

“Jinyoung, who's in there?” Wonpil asks, taking a step forward. 

Jinyoung shakes his head, holding the door firm. “Jinyoung, I just want to… Don't be like this.” Wonpil attempts. “You used to tell me everything.”

He moves forward then, a flash of something in his eyes. Maybe he's eager to embarrass Jinyoung, maybe he's morbidly curious—Jinyoung can't place it. He slams his hands against the door and tries to push it open.

“I—it's none of your business, Wonpil!” Jinyoung struggles with the door, realizing this is becoming quite an unanticipated scene.

“You're screwing some guy in a camp bathroom,” Wonpil counters, but it's said in a surprisingly soft, friendly way that makes Jinyoung feel even more guilty. They used to give each other as much shit as he and Mark do now. The kind of savage ribbing only true, close friends can give one another knowing it’s not a big deal. 

“It's not my business, but it's not exactly _private_ , Jinyoungie. Is it Mark? Is it _finally_ Mark, after all these years?” He’s even laughing a little, probably delighted to finally have something to tease Jinyoung about. But it’s not just about Jinyoung. It's someone else's business, so Jinyoung braces his feet firmly and pushes back.

They wrestle with the door for another moment, but then Jaebum slams the door open and out of both of their hands and stands there, silent behind him. 

Jinyoung doesn't want to look at Jaebum's expression, feels sick for letting his secret slip through. He sneaks a peek, dizzily, and Jaebum's face has gone hard, eyes icy and still.

“Jaebum-ssi,” stammers Wonpil. “I didn't know you…” He loses his words, face going pale as he quickly assesses the scenario. Wonpil, who would never hurt anyone, who would never out someone intentionally. Wonpil, who knows what it’s like to keep the same secret for a long time.

“I'm not sure why you think you're entitled to know who Jinyoung is fucking,” says Jaebum after a long pause.

Wonpil glances up at Jinyoung sadly, eyes apologetic. Jinyoung blinks back at him numbly, unsure what to say.

“But it's me,” Jaebum says with finality. Jinyoung’s heart threatens to burst up and out of his throat, feels every hair on his arms stand up, and tries to hold it all in. He tries to repress this elated feeling, this strange, small stab of victory inside his chest. 

With a firm press of his palm at the small of Jinyoung's back, Jaebum steers him around Wonpil and guides them both out of the bathroom.

 


	5. all wet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how long this fic is going to be. There's so much I keep wanting to include... I wish I was a better editor.

  
Jinyoung stumbles into the crisp night air of camp again and feels dizzy, disoriented.

The warmth of Jaebum's hand disappears from his back, and Jinyoung spins around, eyes watering with shame.

“He's an old friend, I'll talk to him, I'm sure he won't tell anybody. Especially if I ask him not to; I'm sorry, I'm sorry Jaebum,” he babbles.

Jaebum adjusts his shorts and stares at the ground for a moment, letting him run out of words.

“Is he an ex?” He guesses.

Jinyoung takes a deep breath and then lets it out with a slow nod. They're silent again and Jinyoung can hear the blare of a horror score in the distance, from the sports field.

“You don't have to apologize,” says Jaebum. “We did something kind of dumb, and I guess we’re kind of lucky it was just him.” 

His eyes are warm now, sincere. His chin is softer set as he hangs his head.

Jinyoung nods, feeling a little numb. He stares at Jaebum's hands loosely slung in his pockets. They were all over him a moment ago, on his cock and pressing them cheek to cheek.

Now, the night air is cold. Jaebum stands a few feet away, hands in his pockets.

“I need to change my pants,” Jinyoung mumbles, glancing in the direction of the cabins. “And get back to my campers.”

Jaebum nods, looking up at him with soft eyes but not saying anything. Jinyoung wonders when this will be less awkward, and then abruptly realizes they'll probably never have the time to grow better acquainted. 

With this sour thought, he turns to leave. 

“Wait a minute,” says Jaebum, and the hesitant lilt of his voice sends a shiver down Jinyoung's spine. He turns back nervously.

“You wanna do it again?” Jaebum asks, and Jinyoung blanches, momentarily taken aback by the suggestion of his stamina. He does recall an impressive recovery rate.

“I mean,” Jaebum smirks a little, “not right now. Some other time.”

Jinyoung pauses, feeling out of sorts. It’s reckless, what they're doing. But he drags his eyes up Jaebum's lean form, thinks about the thick press of his cock from moments earlier. “Um,” says Jinyoung with an embarrassing loud swallow. “I think so.”

They stare at each other for another second and then both nervously laugh for some reason, overwhelmed and strangely giddy. 

Jinyoung covers his mouth and turns away, suddenly catching a glimpse of Wonpil stepping out of the dining hall. The laugh dies in his throat and he nearly sprints to his cabin.

Jinyoung changes in a hurry and rushes back to the field, praying for a peaceful return to his campers.

Most of them have huddled together for warmth and comfort. Jinyoung slips in behind them and they all startle, looking a little embarrassed before letting him into their semi-circle.

  
//

  
Jinyoung wakes up on the field early the next morning, everything bathed in a cool grey mist. His campers have rolled closer together in the night. Taehyun's bag is curled into a little ball in the middle, a sole tuft of hair poking out, which makes Jinyoung hold back a drowsy giggle.

He stretches a little bit, reaches out to run his fingers through the shortly cut grass beside him. They come away dewy, and he rubs them together in a daze, lost in thought. He tries not to consider how by this time next week, he’ll be home again, avoiding packing his life away for college.

He tries very carefully to avoid thinking about Jaebum. But he thinks about it anyway, thinks about how this time next week, he’ll still be here, olive skin gleaming in the sun, watching bright, curious campers living out the highlight of their summers.

Jinyoung supposes what’s happened between them couldn’t have happened any other time than in summer. There’s no other time that feels so on edge, so hot and urgent and fleeting. 

Jinyoung hopes that once they've parted ways, they'll be able to look back on it as a highlight of their youth too. The way summers ought to be thought about: golden and ephemeral. 

Jinyoung watches the dew drops as they shake and shimmer off the grass when he runs his hand through it, the sparkle of water reminding him of their last time together at the party.

 

_{ Two weeks ago. The master bedroom. }_

Jinyoung wakes up to the distant sound of running water. He's on carpet, covered lightly in a bedsheet. For a moment, he struggles to piece together his whereabouts. With a shift of his legs, his back and thighs shudder in pain, and as he sits up, he finds them sticky and uncomfortable. His activities flood back to him, and he draws the sheet up around him, blushing.

He peeks to the bathroom doorway, where the tub sounds like it's filling quite rapidly. Billows of sweetly scented steam puff into the room.

Jaebum appears from their mists then, and his face brightens as he notices Jinyoung sitting up. He bends down beside him and looks over his face curiously. “You have some carpet marks,” he says quietly, brushing a finger across Jinyoung's cheek.

Jinyoung gives an embarrassed grimace. He doesn't remember falling asleep, let alone in a graceless pile on the floor. But considering how sore he is, he's not surprised.

“I'm running you a bath,” Jaebum continues, hand stroking down to curl around to his shoulder. “You passed right out and I wasn't sure when to wake you. Guess you've got good timing.”

Jinyoung's cheeks flush, having difficulty believing the young man beside him is real. Another boy would have left him here on the floor, and Jinyoung wouldn't have held it against them. Nothing they're doing expects any kind of aftercare. But here he is, helping a loosely draped Jinyoung to his wobbly feet and leading him into the bathroom.

The tub is immense, a jacuzzi jetted masterpiece that Jinyoung is certain he’ll never see the likes of again. It's a little too full already when Jaebum shuts off the tap, steaming with heaps of bubble bath. Jaebum looks a little embarrassed about the overflowing foam.

“They had all these different types,” he gestures to a lineup of bottles and jars in the window. “Think I put in too much,” he admits. 

“It’s exciting,” Jinyoung admits, reaching out and taking a chunk of fluffy bubble off the top. “I haven't had a bubble bath for a long time.” The soap melts in his fingers, as he rubs them together in a daze. 

Jaebum runs his hands down Jinyoung’s back, slowly peeling off the sheet he's wrapped around himself. The fabric pools at his feet.

Jinyoung hears Jaebum's breath hitch as he traces the taper of his shoulders to his waist, feels his fingers gently tremble as they softly caress along the tension at his hips. 

It reminds Jinyoung of how young they are, despite their adult activities. How Jaebum must not have let himself look at many boys this way. 

He stays still, dipping a hand into the hot water and stirring it around as Jaebum continues to softly touch his body.

He feels a mouth at the small of his back, and he gasps and trembles, gripping the edge of the tub. Jinyoung doesn't consider himself particularly ticklish, but his sore muscles and exhaustion leave him feeling delicate and overly sensitive.

Jaebum lets out a warm puff of breath against his waist, something that must be close to a chuckle, and Jinyoung feels him straighten behind him. His arms wrap around Jinyoung and help him stand. Jinyoung feels his semi-soft cock press intimately between his cheeks.

He lets out a breathy moan in spite of his drowsy state, can't help but find it erotic to actually feel as Jaebum becomes aroused against him. His length begins to press more insistently until it's trapped between them, buried in the soft cleft of Jinyoung's ass.

As Jaebum moves to help him step up into the bath, Jinyoung can't help but eye his latest erection as it bobs, somehow inviting again regardless of any lingering pain.

He looks away as he settles into the water but he doesn't let go of Jaebum's hand, who seems to be moving away. The water level tilts dangerously close to the top, some already seeping over the edge. 

“I was going to leave it to you,” Jaebum admits, but he doesn't look like he wants to go.

“Come in,” says Jinyoung. “Come in with me.”

Jaebum doesn't have to be coaxed further, carefully clambering into the tub across from him. Hot water sloshes in wide waves, so much pouring over the edge. Jinyoung would feel guilty if he wasn't feeling something else.

There's a strange tug of sentiment now, the window letting in streaks of the dawn’s pink, soft light. It dances in sparkles along the scented water. 

Jinyoung enjoys the view, but he enjoys the feeling of eyes on him more. He glides through the water, settling lightly into Jaebum's lap.

Their cocks brush against each other under the surface, and Jinyoung shudders a bit, still sore and stretched open but wanting. He looks down at the other boy, never expecting to cross paths with him again, and he touches their lips lightly.

“Can we? One more time,” he whispers, and the water splashes suddenly as Jaebum tugs him close, helps lift him by the waist. Jinyoung moves his hips forward, wanting to line Jaebum's erection up with his entrance, but Jaebum's fingers dip into him first, gently massaging just inside the swollen rim.

“I don't want to hurt you,” says Jaebum, probing at him delicately until he relaxes open a little more again. “Don't want to hurt you,” he repeats, this time as his lips drag along Jinyoung's own, and they kiss again. 

The movement of his mouth matches the soft, deliberate rhythm of his fingers as he scissors him. Jinyoung is fully trembling now, eager to feel him again, in spite of any lingering soreness or the subtle burn the soap may intensify.

Jaebum finally tugs him upward again, and Jinyoung sighs in relief as he sinks slowly down onto his cock. The water moves with them. They pause for a moment, forehead to forehead.

“Got you,” says Jaebum very quietly, and Jinyoung begins to move. 

They rock slowly, together. Jinyoung raises himself lightly, trying not to strain his thighs too much but pushing through the burn that accumulates anyways. Jaebum thrusts up into him, hands firm on his waist, helping along with the float of the water.

Jinyoung holds onto him with one hand curled around the nape of his neck. The other grips his bicep, grounded by the steadiness of its tension.

The water undulates around them, enough having sloshed out of the tub to contain their combined movement, but still rocking in rhythmic waves. The bubbles have mostly melted away.

Jaebum gazes up at him with something that looks like wonder. He watches Jinyoung's every movement with bright eyes.

Jinyoung can't help but stare back, can't help but marvel as well. It's impossible not to imagine, impossible not to wish for more than this last moment.

But they both start to look resigned, spirits dampening even as they rock into each other faster. Jinyoung swirls his hips in a circle, and Jaebum cries out, coming hard within him one more time. 

Jinyoung rides out his last, softening pumps another moment before he finds his own edge. He lets out a moan and his voice cracks, and he's biting back a sob before Jaebum kisses it out of his mouth. 

It's a gentle, chaste kiss. And then it's over.

They don't say anything for the rest of their time together. Jaebum scoops his cum back out of him, gently strokes it down and away in the water. His hands are careful as they scrub down Jinyoung's legs and help propel him away.

They towel off in continued silence, and the deafening gap in sound is thicker still while they dress.

It's unavoidably awkward, Jinyoung realizes, despite however cool they may have played it earlier on. Shuffling into his stained jeans, he marvels at the cranberry smudge that started this evening.

The door is unlocking loudly as he buckles his belt, and he glances up through tousled bangs to see Jaebum pushing it ajar. The other boy is turning on his phone, and he looks at it thoughtfully for a moment before meeting Jinyoung's curious gaze.

Jaebum looks on the brink of something: maybe saying goodbye or maybe even considering an exchange of numbers. But then his phone finishes powering up and buzzes repeatedly, lighting up with dozens of notifications.

Jaebum's attention slips away, frowning at the screen in his hand and then sighing. He looks up very briefly, smiles small and lifts his fingers in a half of a wave, and then steps out of Jinyoung's world.

Jinyoung stays in the room another moment, thinking about the passage of time and fighting off a wave of empty feelings. He feels much older.

_{*}_

 

The next full day of camp finds Jinyoung feeling more comfortable than he expected, following their run-in with Wonpil. 

Wonpil still looks at him with a hint of something, but Jinyoung isn't sure if it's romantic longing. They haven't seen each other in so long, it feels good even to be pestered by him. He wonders if it's the same for him.

Wonpil pinches him when he passes by his table at breakfast. During morning games he and Mark stand together and whisper, eying Jinyoung very obviously.

It feels familiar, and strange at the same time. When he shyly moves to stand by the two of them, Mark wraps an arm around his neck teasingly.

“I guess you’re officially moving on now,” Mark says to Wonpil, and Jinyoung doesn’t look up, eyes fixed nervously on the ground. Why does Mark have to be so blunt sometimes?

Wonpil makes a soft noise of contemplation. “I don’t know,” he says, and it’s so naked and sincere that Jinyoung has to look up at him in shock. Mark’s arm tightens around his neck.

“What?” Mark asks.

Wonpil looks at Jinyoung, smiling. “Jinyoung is my first love,” he admits. “Maybe he won’t be my last, but…” He turns away then, smile fading as a soft blush appears at the top of his cheekbones. Jinyoung hasn’t seen him blush in ages. He remembers wiping snowflakes from this blushing face, and he has to tear his eyes away again. 

“But I’ll always feel differently about him,” Wonpil finishes, crossing his arms and then smiling warmly at Mark.

Mark releases him then, and Jinyoung is grateful to find that Jinwoo and Seunghoon are calling him back to the sports field. He hurries away, feeling lighter than before but guilty still.

  
//

  
In the afternoon, Jinyoung lets Taehyun, Yugyeom and some of Mark’s campers drag him along to the pool during free time. He even somehow convinces them to hastily apply some sunscreen, so he feels a little proud. He tells himself he won’t speak to Jaebum at all if he’s there, won’t let himself fixate. Today, Jinyoung will be good.

He loses some of his motivation when he sees Jaebum in another tank top, smiling at him warmly. Jaebum looks quite in his element, slouched in a plain plastic chair, earrings glinting in the sunlight. Jinyoung settles on the edge of the pool, dipping just his legs in and kicking them coyly. He’ll let himself look, but he’ll still stay quiet, he resolves.

“JB!” Says a melodic voice, and at the gate is the lovely looking girl Jinyoung has come to recognize as Nayeon.

She’s dressed impeccably again, in delicately jeweled sandals with a designer bag hanging off her elbow. A perfectly shaped elbow, Jinyoung thinks, and he has to turn away for a moment, embarrassed by his own dramatic thoughts.

When he looks back he sees she's not alone. Another very pretty, well dressed young woman has entered as well, this one toting both a fancy bag and a baby. Jinyoung and the rowdy campers in the pool pause to eye them hesitantly.

“You remember my older sister, Taeyeon?” Nayeon is saying, gesturing between them. “And my nephew, Seokjin.”

“Sure,” says Jaebum politely, although he hasn't stood up to greet them.

“We thought the weather was so nice it would be good to come out here and get some air,” Nayeon says. “While dad’s up at the hall.”

“What's he doing at the dining hall?” Jaebum immediately stiffens up.

“Some random inventory checks,” Nayeon brushes off a chair and drags it over to the pool’s edge, fumbling a bit with where to put her bag. Jinyoung eyes the handful of campers splashing around and hopes there won't be a designer disaster.

She finally settles with it securely in her lap. “You know how he and the head cook always disagree about waste and stuff.” Jaebum looks bothered by the idea.

Taeyeon seems unimpressed by the pool area setup but moves to drag a chair over of her own. Hands full of a fussy baby, she pauses for a moment, glancing around. 

Jinyoung glances at Jaebum, who is pointedly ignoring the girls in favor of watching the kids in the pool. Hefting himself off the edge, Jinyoung moves to help Taeyeon get a chair. 

“I'll get it for you,” he starts to say, reaching for it, but Taeyeon turns and plops the baby in his waiting hands instead.

“Actually! Can you grab him for just a minute, I'm going to use the restroom,” she says, and rushes over to the girls locker rooms eagerly.

“Pregnancy really changed her bladder,” Nayeon laughs, and Jinyoung watches nervously as she moves to set her purse down on the concrete. “I can take him,” she offers.

Jinyoung tilts Seokjin more comfortably against him and waves a hand at her bag frantically. “It's fine! I like babies,” he insists, and she looks grateful, tucking her own precious bundle back into her lap.

Jaebum is now peering around her at him, and Jinyoung can't quite read his expression. 

“You must like kids too, JB oppa?” Nayeon is wondering, watching him watch Jinyoung.

Jinyoung turns away, jiggling the fat infant and humming to him instead of watching Jaebum’s reaction.

“Sure,” says Jaebum. Jinyoung wonders if he does - he supposed he probably doesn't hate them, since after growing up living at a summer camp he went on to work there as well. But Jinyoung thinks about how Jaebum spoke of his _obligation_ to camp, and wonders if he'd ever had a choice.

Taeyeon reemerges shortly, and moves a chair and an umbrella beside Nayeon. Once she seems settled, Jinyoung brings Seokjin back to her and her expression brightens.

“Wow, he’s so chilled out! They employ only the finest counselors here, hmm?” She says with a wink at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung blushes and covers a smile with his hand.

“I don't think I know you,” says Nayeon, looking across at him curiously.

“You’ve never come to camp,” says Jaebum sharply. 

“But we visit so much,” Nayeon says, elbowing him lightly, and Jinyoung can’t help but think she takes his attitude very well. “We practically know everybody.”

“It's my first year,” Jinyoung admits, politely nodding. “My name is Park Jinyoung; I'm a friend of Mark’s?”

“Oh, that one is cute too,” Taeyeon nods, patting Seokjin enthusiastically. The baby burps. “They grow boys well where you're from.”

Jinyoung laughs sincerely, not disliking the compliments. 

He settles on the edge of the pool again, this time besides Taeyeon, closer to the shallows where his campers are rough-housing.

“ _Hyung_ ~,” whines Yugyeom, latching onto his legs. Jinyoung bounces him in the water like a toddler. “Come in with us, we need another person to play chicken.”

“Taehyun isn't playing?” Jinyoung wonders, eying his smallest camper as he spins in an inflatable donut. 

“Minho’s up against Yugyeom. Yugyeom picked BamBam as his rider. BamBam always uses nails,” Taehyun says idly, slowing in his spiral. 

BamBam gives a demure shrug and crosses his arms. “It's _allowed_ ,” he says.

Minho shoves Taehyun's donut toward the deep end. “Coward,” he calls after him. Taehyun gives him a peace sign and a lopsided smile. 

Jinyoung sighs, squinting at Minho’s form. “I don't know, won't I be too heavy for you?” 

Minho waves a dismissive hand, straightening his shoulders and puffing his chest out. Yugyeom snickers and splashes at him.

From the edge of the pool, Jinyoung hears Jaebum snort, and he looks up to find him watching them.

“You hardly weigh a thing,” Jaebum says absently, and Jinyoung's cheeks color at the memory of Jaebum plopping him onto a washing machine, manhandling him over a desk, helping him wobble around on fucked-out legs. Jaebum seems to regret saying it, biting his lip and looking down quickly.

BamBam squints over at Jaebum suspiciously, ever nosy. “How would you know?” He asks.

Nayeon is looking at Jaebum as well, and Jinyoung’s breath hitches nervously.

“It just doesn't look like he weighs much,” mutters Jaebum, stubborning turning away toward the deep end. Some girl campers are taking turns diving. “No running,” he reminds them as they line up.

Jinyoung clears his throat and slips into the water, moving toward Minho. “We'll see if you can handle it,” he jokes.

Yugyeom launches onto his back and immediately drags him deeper into the chilly water, and Jinyoung squawks in protest, trying to keep the chlorine out of his eyes. He forgot how much boys love to drown each other. He hops through towards Minho with a tickling Yugyeom scrambling against his back.

BamBam intercepts him and tries to weigh him from the front as well, wrapping skinny arms around his neck. It doesn't make much of a difference.

“Oh _no_ ,” Jinyoung goes under intentionally, laughing into a gurgle. He easily slips out of BamBam’s linked arms underwater, although he catches someone’s bony elbow to the eye and surfaces with it squinted closed.

“You guys have too many corners,” Jinyoung whine. He turns to find Minho kneeling already. He awkwardly clambers on the younger boy’s shoulders, laughing as Minho exaggerates swaying under his weight.

BamBam is perched atop Yugyeom, and they make a funny, gangly image. They’re intimidatingly taller than Jinyoung and Minho, but he knows a lower center of gravity is easier to balance, so they might have have a shot.

“Come and get it!” BamBam and Yugyeom say in unison, and Jinyoung sighs, realizing they must have teamed up for this hundreds of times.

Minho moves in fearlessly though, and Jinyoung grips at his head nervously, eying BamBam as the little boy beckons for his attack. He lowers himself slightly and hopes BamBam won’t break skin.

Once they're in range, BamBam grabs him and starts to slap and claw around Jinyoung's neck, tugging at his hair too. There’s a particularly nasty slash that catches his jaw, and he silently curses Mark once again for inviting him to camp.

Jinyoung stays lower, squeezing his eyes shut and reaching out blindly where he thinks he'll find BamBam’s knee. 

His feet are tucked under Yugyeom’s arms but his long leg bends farther out. Jinyoung hooks his fingers around a knee and with a squirming tickle behind it, BamBam squeals and starts to twist away.

“Tickling is cheating!” He shrieks.

“You have my blood,” Jinyoung grits out, grabbing at his now flailing feet, “under your nails.”

He gives a big push and BamBam topples into the water.

Even Yugyeom looks amused with his loss; although when a pouty BamBam emerges from the water, he’s quick to wrap his arms around him in consolation. BamBam squirms away but is smiling softly.

Jinyoung drops from a cheerful Minho back into the cool water. He swims down to the deep end and spins Taehyun in his donut for a while, until the boy starts to look a little too green.

Jaebum, Nayeon and Taeyeon have stayed pretty quiet, and as Jinyoung heads back to the edge he sees Taeyeon is nearly asleep, Seokjin dozing on her chest as well. 

But Nayeon is whispering to Jaebum. She's leaned out of her chair, one hand loosely on her bag. Her _other_ hand, Jinyoung notes, is gripping the plastic armrest of Jaebum's chair. She's giggling about something. Her eyes look kind, full of genuine mirth. He wonders if her joke is funny. She seems _nice_ , Jinyoung thinks miserably.

Jaebum doesn't look hugely amused, but he's listening, eyes cast toward her, nodding and smiling small. 

A flash of stinging hot jealousy burns through Jinyoung, from his scalp to his toes, and he lifts himself out of the pool without hiding his frown. 

Jaebum turns to look at him then, lidded eyes not so subtly tracing the water as it runs down Jinyoung's body, as his shirt and shorts stick to his form. Jinyoung looks down on him with a barely concealed sneer, frustration bubbling out of his every pore. 

He can't stand the feeling, the seasick somersault his stomach makes as he careens between furious and flattered. He can't help but glance at Nayeon, who still only has eyes for Jaebum.

Jinyoung runs a hand through his wet hair, trying to brush his ugly feelings aside. He heads swiftly for the boys locker rooms to wash off the smell of the pool.

“Hyung,” calls Yugyeom, poking his head into the restroom after a moment. “Taehyun and us are gonna go back to the cabin to shower - Jaebum has to clean so he's kicking everybody out a little early.”

“Oh,” Jinyoung raises a hand to shut off his water.

“He said you can finish up,” Yugyeom says, waving at him and leaving.

Jinyoung swallows and nods, suddenly inexplicably anxious, mind racing. It’s selfish and silly to think that this could have anything to do with him. He really should finish rinsing the chlorine out of his hair and head back to his cabin. It will only be another minute, and then he’ll be back with his campers, where he belongs.

Jinyoung turns back to the shower, looking up into the spray and running his hands over his face. He hears a lock bolt shut, a squeak of a flip flop. It runs a shiver runs down his spine, skin bursting into goosebumps despite the warm water. 

He keeps his eyes locked on the tile wall, letting his hands trace down over his neck and down to his collarbone, tugging at the wet fabric of his t-shirt.

He feels a strange flush come over him, the tell-tale tickle of someone’s gaze on him.


	6. this week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! There's a little more Mark in this chapter, which is hopefully enjoyable for fans of the side stories. It's probably? skippable if you don't care for it. I'm never sure how best to go about shifting perspectives but hope you're all okay with a little bit of it. 
> 
> Thank you for all of your comments!! Everybody's been so sweet. Every one I get gives me a little zap of energy to keep writing more. :3

 

 

The sensation of just being watched makes Jinyoung a little impatient, and he tips his head back, running his fingers down his neck and sides. He arches his back slightly, hoping it’s enough of an invitation.

Jaebum’s arms are suddenly wrapping around him, his form pressing into his back, a warm mouth along his jawline. Jinyoung tries to turn to meet his lips, but Jaebum seems one-minded, focused on a specific task at hand. He’s kissing the red marks BamBam left from the chicken fight, Jinyoung realizes. 

Jaebum kisses down, and lets a hand trace up under Jinyoung's wet shirt. The shower spray beats against them, plastering the fabric over them both. Jinyoung lets out an embarrassing noise as Jaebum’s thumb flicks one of his nipples. He feels him smile against his skin in response.

Jaebum abruptly tugs Jinyoung's shirt up over his head, and shuts off the water. Jaebum lets the shirt slop to the floor, and he roughly turns Jinyoung around, pressing him back against the tile wall.

“Why were you in a shirt? I was wondering. You don't have anything to be ashamed of,” says Jaebum, slotting his lips against Jinyoung's before he can answer. 

Jinyoung whimpers a little into the kiss, and shakes his head. Jaebum moves back to let him breathe.

“I don't want to steal the spotlight,” jokes Jinyoung breathlessly. “Shouldn't the lifeguard be all laid out and oiled up for the girls?”

Jinyoung expects another kiss, but Jaebum dips down and licks his way to the hollow of his throat. He mouths at the skin there, sucking at it desperately until he can feel it form a mark. Jinyoung laces his fingers into Jaebum's hair, already too dazed to think of people seeing it.

“Were you jealous?” Jaebum wonders, voice low and vibrating against Jinyoung’s jaw as he drags his lips back up.

Jinyoung pouts and tries to shake his head. Jaebum clutches at his chin to keep it in place with one hand and slips the other down the front of his swim trunks.

Jinyoung's cock is still cold from the pool water, and the shock of Jaebum's warm hand wrapping around it makes Jinyoung whimper and toss his head back, peeling his chin out of Jaebum’s grip.

“Were you jealous?” Jaebum repeats, fingers slipping to his neck and tightening a bit around his throat. He slowly strokes Jinyoung’s length until it starts to warm and swell.

Jinyoung nods tightly, swallowing heavily and finding himself shocked by the erotic pulse he gets from the pressure against his airway, a thumb against his Adam’s apple. Jaebum dips again to kiss his neck, loosening his grip and smiling. Jinyoung flushes, bringing his hands up to his shoulders, unsure how to read his reaction. Jaebum’s other hand is still busy tugging at Jinyoung gently, so it's hard to consider further.

Jaebum sinks to his knees then, fingers tickling down Jinyoung’s naked torso as he goes. He pulls his hand out of Jinyoung’s shorts, and Jinyoung lets out a whine before he realizes it’s so he can untie the lacing and tug them down his hips.

Jinyoung is already gasping at the idea of it, gulping for air and struggling to comprehend how quickly this is going so far, and then Jaebum swallows down around him. The heat of his mouth is overwhelming, Jinyoung crying out as his lips and tongue slide wetly along him, bobbing rhythmically.

“There's nothing to be jealous of,” Jaebum says after a moment, mouth having absolutely slurped as it pulled off his length. “This week, I’m all yours.” He stares up at him intensely as he swirls his tongue around the head of Jinyoung's cock, smearing it against his lips, painting the perfect Cupid's bow with a dribble of precum. 

“Whose dick is in my mouth?” He teases, then sinks his mouth back down, taking Jinyoung deeper than before. He doesn’t close his eyes, keeps them fixed on Jinyoung’s reactions.

Jinyoung watches as Jaebum's eyes water slightly, feels like he's going to pass out from pleasure as his cock hits the back of his throat.

“I would guess that’s not…” Jinyoung gasps with the movement of Jaebum’s tongue on the sensitive underside of his shaft, “...that’s not an option with her.”

Jaebum sniffs a laugh through his nostrils, coming off with a slight gag and drawing back to smile up at him in amusement. It’s a dark, stupid thing to laugh about how his fiancé doesn’t have a penis, but they smile together anyway, in a badly lit, damp shower room. 

Jinyoung has a flash of how lavish Nayeon’s wedding will probably be, knowing her family has money, and he reaches out to yank Jaebum back to his dick by his hair.

Jaebum’s amusement melts into something more determined, allowing Jinyoung to grip his hair but still setting his own bruising intensity and pace. He sucks the life out of Jinyoung, slurping around his cock and looking up at him like he's putting on a show. 

Jinyoung screws his eyes shut and lets himself slip down the wall slightly, thrusting his hips into Jaebum’s face and trying to forget where they are. The saliva and leftover water builds up, it’s so wet and warm that Jinyoung is embarrassed as he feels it drip down his sac, his thighs. 

Jaebum grips his legs and nudges them farther apart, softly brushes a thumb along the curve of his balls. Jinyoung shoots into his mouth. It’s electric, how the orgasm coils down Jinyoung’s spine and he arches up off the wall, back bowed out and pulse hammering in his neck. Jaebum grips him by a thigh, holds him steady.

Jinyoung whispers an apology as his fingers loosen and let go of Jaebum’s hair, tries to touch his face gently as he coughs on the cum. But then he’s licking his lips and smiling up at him, all shimmering cat eyes and straight teeth, and Jinyoung feels like he could come again at just this image.

Jaebum gets to his feet and kisses him gently, nosing his face in close to his, touching their cheeks together softly. Jinyoung reaches into his swim trunks and tugs at his straining erection. It’s awkward at this angle, awkward as Jaebum just leans close, breathing on his face and watching his arm moving between them. 

But then his toes are curling slightly, and he braces a knee against Jinyoung’s, digs his chin into his shoulder for support. He comes with his hands gripping Jinyoung’s hips, eyes shut tight and all blissed out. 

Jinyoung shyly kisses him, and he smiles against his lips. Jaebum reaches up to cup his face in his hands, still leaning into him. 

There’s a tentative set of knocks on the door and a rattling of the locked handle.

Jaebum wobbles back, glancing at the entrance and looking dumbstruck.

“ _Hyung_?” Youngjae’s loud voice travels through the door.

Jinyoung tucks himself away, lacing up his shorts again with shaking fingers, accidentally tying his finger into the knot. He grabs his sopping shirt from the floor and glances up at Jaebum in wide-eyed panic.

“ _Jaebum hyung_?”

Jaebum is still frozen, looking around. 

“Back door,” he whispers suddenly, nodding and yanking Jinyoung by the elbow. He sends him around a corner and past the line of stalls and sinks, and then hurries back to the front.

Jinyoung hears him unbolting the main door simultaneously as he pushes the heavy back door open, and is temporarily blinded as he steps out into the daylight again. He reaches out in search of the back fence of the pool area and stumbles a bit.

“ _Youngjae_?” Jinyoung hears Jaebum calling from the other side as he rubs at his eyes and tries to adjust his vision. 

A cold realization grips him suddenly, and he catches his breath as Youngjae comes into view, staring at him in confusion.

“Jinyoung hyung,” Youngjae says softly. “What are you doing here?”

Jinyoung blinks in shock, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he tries to find an adequate answer. He hears Jaebum’s frantic footsteps as he hurries around to meet them at the back, and Youngjae turns to him with a kind of disconnected, blank expression.

“He was showering,” says Jaebum breathlessly. “And I was waiting for him to finish rinsing off so I could clean the locker room.”

Youngjae lets the story sink in for a moment, head tilting slightly in consideration. “And you locked the door…?” he wonders, voice dry.

“So other people wouldn’t come in next,” Jaebum assures him, and Jinyoung feels his stomach lurch at the flimsiness of the lie. 

“O-oh,” warbles Youngjae, a very strange, false smile flickering over his face. It almost looks painful, and Jinyoung wants to apologize.

“I should get back to my campers,” Jinyoung croaks, moving for the back gate.

“You should put your shirt on, hyung,” Youngjae says quietly, turning to watch him leave. “People might wonder about those marks.”

Jinyoung’s face drains of color, and he feels faint - so humiliated that he feels physically dizzy. He struggles back into the wet shirt and leaves, head down and mouth clamped shut. 

When he feels safely far enough, he glances back, and sees them standing still in silence. Jaebum looks much younger.

  
//

  
Jinyoung spends dinner and evening games pointedly looking everywhere but at Youngjae, nervous to see how the younger looks at him now.

They weren't extremely close yet, but now he's certain there'll be a wedge.

Mark notices Jinyoung's anxious mood, glaring at him while their team divides up on the field for a glowstick relay.

“Who did you traumatize this time?” He asks, digging his fingers into Jinyoung's elbow. Jinyoung watches his campers take their marks, refuses to make eye contact.  
   
“Youngjae,” says Jinyoung quietly. 

Mark breathes in sharply, glancing around them to make sure the other team leaders aren't listening. Kyungsoo and Wonpil are shouting encouragements along with the campers, luckily.

“He walked in on you guys?” Mark wonders.

“He didn't interrupt, but he caught me leaving. He had perfect timing, actually,” Jinyoung says miserably. “We'd locked ourselves in the showers by the pool and I tried to sneak out the back. I was sporting this,” he yanks his shirt collar down to show the bruising low on his neck.

Mark shakes his head at the sight. “Jaebum was a little hungry,” he says dryly.

“A bit,” Jinyoung says, suddenly flustered as he remembers him swallowing.

“Youngjae's shattered image of his beloved brother aside,” Mark says, tone shifting, “why are you doing this? And what is with you guys and bathrooms…”

He continues to scold him, and Jinyoung's ears start to ring, the shrill sound of the crowd and Mark’s low voice starting to blend together. He looks out across the rest of the field, the dusky evening view of the rest of camp and the mountaintop in the distance. He breathes slowly and tries to calm himself, before turning back.

“...just think it'll hurt even more.” Mark is saying, eyebrows high up on his forehead now, looking like he's well aware Jinyoung has been ignoring him.

“I know,” says Jinyoung delicately. “I know it's a bad idea but he,” his voice wobbles a bit here, and he ducks his head to hide his pink face. “He said, _this week he's all mine_.”

Mark lets out a very long, loud sigh of resignation. Wonpil and Kyungsoo glance back at them curiously, having heard the outburst over the cry of cheering campers.

Jinyoung elbows Mark and moves a step away, wrapping his arm around a bouncing Yugyeom instead and trying to look interested in the game.

“My games aren't up to your standards, hmm?” Says a deep voice, and Jackson has sidled up to Mark. 

Mark flushes a little, but he rolls his eyes and keeps his composure. “It wasn’t about that,” he assures him.

“Jackson hyung,” BamBam bounces up to Mark’s other side, nervously tugging at his arm and fluttering his lashes at Jackson. “Did you see me win the tug of war?”

“I totally did; that little girl never stood a chance,” Jackson says, winking at Mark.

Mark holds back a snicker and then watches BamBam curiously as the younger boy preens.

“What happened to Shownu?” Mark suddenly asks, and BamBam blushes deep as Jackson tilts his head in confusion.

“Jackson hyung has a prettier face,” BamBam says softly, and Jackson _screeches_ and pretends to fall over in embarrassment.

“ _Finally_!” Jackson exclaims. “Somebody noticed!”

Mark bursts into laughter, and BamBam looks rather pleased with himself.

“Maybe you should focus on pretty faces your own age,” Mark whispers to BamBam after they watch Jackson slink back up to his feet.

“Jackson hyung,” singsongs BamBam. “What's the age range you would date?” 

Mark sighs, covering his face and shaking his head in disbelief.

“Hmmmm,” Jackson relaxes and frowns for a moment. “How old are you?” He finally asks.

BamBam smiles and hides a little behind Mark's elbow. “Thirteen and a half,” he admits.

Jackson lets out a low whistle and shakes his head. “Yikes, usually I stick to people my age,” he says, then tilts his head and gently places a hand at the small of Mark's back. “How old are _you_ , Mark?”

“Eighteen,” Mark says quietly, meeting his gaze.

Jackson nods enthusiastically and turns back to BamBam. “Right, like I was saying: I’m seventeen and I only date people my age or like, exactly a year older.”

“Earth to the games director,” says Amber from across the field, through a megaphone. “Will the games director please report back to… The _games_?”

Jackson grins at them both and waves goodbye, scurrying back to his assistants.

BamBam sighs beside Mark, releasing his arm and shuffling off.

Mark watches and makes sure the younger is a safe distance away before reaching into his back pocket. As Jackson had drawn his arm back, he'd dipped his fingers low and for a moment, Mark had thought he was about be groped. To his relief(?), Jackson had just slipped a note into his pocket.

Withdrawing it and unfolding it now, Mark's heart hammers. He feels like he's in middle school again, the simple delight of a secretly passed note making him flush with excitement. 

_Mark~  
I run every morning at 5! (AM!) In the morning! If you are interested in running too and you look pretty in shape so you probably run really well, no pressure, you should come run with me! If you want. _

_I start at the lake if you want to come too. You don't have to, but if you want to that would be cool. We don't have to talk but if you want to talk we can run a little slower. Like a jog!_

_x Jackson_

Mark bites his lip hard to keep from giggling, but he can't stop the silly smile that takes over his face. “Like a jog,” he repeats to himself, and snorts.

He folds the note and is hiding his blushing face behind it for another moment when he feels a soft hand on his wrist.

Youngjae is by his side, looking a little distressed. “Mark hyung, can we talk?”

Mark flushes and crumples the paper in his hand, jamming it into his pocket with a startled noise. Youngjae looks briefly curious but doesn't ask. 

“Let me just get Jinyoung to keep an eye on my kids,” says Mark after a moment of hesitation, and at the mention of the other counselor’s name, he sees Youngjae stiffen. They both glance at him in the crowd, playfully chasing after Yugyeom.

“Jinyoung,” Mark calls, and then he gestures at his campers, nods at Youngjae and back up the road. Jinyoung’s immediately nodding, herding their cabins closer together.

“Wow, you don't even have to speak,” Youngjae chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck and still looking queasy. They walk up the road together, away from the field and the noise of the crowd.

“It's just been so long,” Mark says, “we've evolved past it.”

Youngjae is nodding, but he looks distracted, and he guides them further up the road, past the wide turn for the dining hall and towards the house on the hill.

“Youngjae,” Mark says after a moment, “we're not allowed up at your house during camp.”

“I know, we're not - I just want to get out of earshot,” Youngjae says, fingers clumsily running through his bangs multiple times. Mark watches his soft face as it strains and twists in thought. 

The moonlight is cool, generous to his features, skin set aglow and eyes sparkling. Something twists in Mark’s gut guiltily. He looks back at the road, waiting for Youngjae to speak.

They reach the house’s side yard shortly, Mark eyeing the building curiously. He’s never spent time at the Im’s, despite his many years at camp, and he’s always been curious about what the house is like. It’s an older building, and it looks less romantic than it does from down the hill, definitely lived in and nothing glamorous. Parts of the siding are peeling, and the wraparound porch sags a bit in the back. You can tell a family has lived here a long time, can tell they loved it dearly.

The side yard is large, but it’s fairly empty, an old picnic table in the middle, and a sun-bleached swingset in a back corner. Youngjae forgoes the table immediately, and Mark tries to hide his amusement as he settles in one of the swings instead. Mark joins him and stays quiet, toeing the ground and trying not to let the chains squeak too much.

Youngjae swings a little more deliberately, soaring high for a bit before slowing down and evening out his breath.

“I’m guessing you know about _stuff_ , from Jinyoung,” Youngjae says.

Mark nods, stays quiet. They swing in silence a moment longer.

“Why do you think Jaebum never told me he was gay?” Youngjae asks, quietly. 

Mark breathes deeply, trying to wrap his head around the conversation. “Well you don’t know if he’s _gay_ ,” says Mark. “He’s been with a lot of girls and maybe Jinyoung is just a part of his spectrum.”

He peeks at Youngjae, who’s looking at his feet and nodding slightly.

“Anyway, did you tell him you were gay?” Mark counters. “It’s hard to share that part of yourself. Especially when you’re young, or before you really even know. And sometimes it’s harder when you’re closer to somebody - you know that sometimes when an idea of you changes, people treat you differently. And you don’t want things to change.”

There’s a pause. “Like how things changed, for us? After I asked you to kiss me,” Youngjae suggests, and his voice sounds tight, a little strained.

Mark sighs and nods. “Yeah,” he admits. “I didn’t deal with that very well. Any of it.”

“I’m sorry,” blurts Youngjae. “I just wanted you to be my friend. I mean I–I wanted to kiss you too,” he says, and even in the cool moonlight Mark can see his cheeks warming up. “You're really beautiful and—well, mainly I was just so excited that there was somebody else who was the way I was.”

“After you ignored all my texts,” Youngjae continues, voice wobbling, “I realized maybe I messed up. I shouldn’t have put you in that position.”

“Youngjae,” whispers Mark helplessly, a lump in his throat. “I messed up, too.”

“I still want you to be my friend,” says Youngjae, a tear running down. He gives a nervous laugh, his usually joyful smile a strange parody of itself.

Mark reaches out and dabs at the wetness with his sleeve, letting his hand cradle his cheek for a moment. “I’m so glad you still want me as your friend,” he says. “I can definitely do that.”

Youngjae nods, and they swing in a silence for another moment. “I just wish we could have been there for each other,” he says. “Me and Jaebum.”

“Nothing’s _over_ ,” says Mark. “You can still be there for him.”

“My parents,” Youngjae starts, then looks up at the house, suddenly looming large and intimidating before them. “They’re still really… traditional.”

Mark peers at him and waits for a moment before prompting him further. “I heard he’s supposed to be married off to Nayeon.”

Youngjae’s mouth twists up and he nods, digging his heels into the soft soil beneath the swingset. It leaves two long, wobbly lines. “It’s so my family can get her shares of the camp or whatever. So my dad can get it back.”

Mark nods, watching the dirt carve away with each pass of the swing. 

“It’s not about Jaebum, or what he wants, or who he is,” says Youngjae. “It’s about camp.”

“It’s not fair,” says Mark.

Youngjae slows, twisting his feet. “It’s not, but I always thought that was just what would happen. I never really thought about it being something he wouldn’t want to do. We both love camp, we both… we still think of it as our home.”

“If it’s any comfort,” Mark offers, “Jinyoung said Jaebum keeps saying it’s just for the rest of this week. I think he still intends to follow through with his… responsibilities.”

Youngjae grimaces. “I was kind of mad at Jinyoung at first,” he says. “I thought, why did he do this to my brother?”

Mark frowns at him, doesn’t reply.

“I know,” says Youngjae with a sigh. “I know that’s not true or fair. And he seems so nice,” he laughs a little. “He seems _too_ good of a fit, like he’s an extension of my brother. Does that make sense? They way he treats me already. Like they’re one person, split up.”

“I don’t know if they even _talk_ ,” Mark says cautiously. “I don’t know if it’s _that_ serious.”

“The minute I met him,” says Youngjae. “It was like, I recognized him. And when Jaebum came over–why did he look like he already knew him?”

“They hooked up at a party a few weeks ago,” Mark admits. 

“Oh,” Youngjae pauses. “You don’t think they fit?” 

“I don’t know,” admits Mark. “I guess it’s something since Jinyoung doesn’t fool around a lot, at least. He dated Wonpil for two years and then it took a long time for them to break up completely. And then nothing. He falls deep.”

They’re both quiet for a while. Youngjae hops off his swing and they start to head back to the center of camp. “You’re not worried, hyung?” Youngjae asks, as they make their way down the steep hill.

“About what?” Mark asks, taking his hand and gripping it tightly in case one of them slips on some of the loose gravel.

“About them falling in love,” Youngjae says candidly. “And us losing the camp.”

Mark bites his lip, disappointed by this phrasing. “You wouldn’t lose the camp,” he says grimly. “You already don’t own it - but it would still be here, and I can’t imagine you’d stop visiting.”

Youngjae nods reluctantly as they approach the boys’ cabins, which are bright and buzzing with loud voices. The warm lights cast longer, harsher shadows on their faces and Mark feels older, and jaded. There are voices coming up from the opposite end of the road, and he knows their privacy will be gone soon.

He heaves a final sigh and continues. “And I’m sorry Youngjae, but maybe you should be more worried about them falling in love, and your brother _still_ marrying Nayeon, and everybody moving on and just living with their broken hearts. And him staying broken for a long time. Because that’s what ends up happening in the real world.”

Youngjae looks sad and embarrassed. They’ve stalled outside Mark and Jinyoung’s cabins, hands interlaced.

Mark softens as he sees Youngjae crumble a bit, and he tugs at him gently, folding him into a warm hug. Youngjae’s hair tickles Mark’s chin, and he smells faintly like cheap, fruity shampoo. Mark smiles into his scalp, kissing it softly as they part.

The voices that were increasing in volume a moment ago quiet now, and the sudden gap in sound makes Mark look up, and it’s Jackson, Amber and Wonpil who were walking up the road. They’ve slowed down and Jackson is looking at Mark’s hands as they slide off Youngjae, at Mark’s mouth after he’s kissed him. Mark can feel his eyes, heavy and inquisitive.

Jackson turns away and he and the others continue on, chatting lowly. Mark feels a shiver trace down his spine and the crumpled note in his pocket suddenly feels heavy.

Youngjae smiles softly, watching Mark’s face shift. He squeezes Mark’s hand one more time and heads off to his own cabin.

When Mark steps into Jinyoung’s cabin, he finds all of their combined campers in the midst of a brutal pillow fight. Namjoon is beating a fallen Seungyoon senselessly, while Seungyoon alternates giggling and screaming. Taehyun is smothering Bobby, Hanbin and Seunghoon are teaming up against Yoongi, and everyone else is running around in chaotic circles.

In the middle of this, Jinyoung sits absolutely still atop his bunk, wearing sunglasses and apparently in quiet meditation.

“Um,” says Mark, dodging Junhoe as he hurtles past, and clambering onto Jinyoung’s mattress, an island in the center of a storm. “Aren’t you supposed to be counseling?”

“If I can’t see them killing each other, can I still be held accountable for their safety?” Jinyoung asks, adjusting his glasses.

“Yes,” Mark says, and Jinyoung takes off his sunglasses with a huff.  They watch the battle carry on a little longer.

“I think things are fixed with Youngjae,” says Mark. “And he's not mad at you or anything, he's just concerned about his whole family drama.”

Jinyoung nods, looking a little more hopeful.

Mark digs the note from Jackson out of his pocket and hands it to him to read. Jinyoung scans it, hiding his snorts behind a hand.

“Is he twelve?” Jinyoung teases, handing the note back and shaking his head in wonder.

Mark shrugs, folding it carefully and pocketing it again. “He's sweet,” he says. “But he saw me kissing Youngjae just now and I don't know if I should go tomorrow or let him cool off first.”

Jinyoung glares. “ _Kissing_ Youngjae? Go back to the ‘things are fixed’ part you were saying earlier.”

“On top of the head,” Mark clarifies. “We're friends.”

Jinyoung hums, turning back to watch their campers slugging each other. “I don't think Jackson needs to cool off,” he says. “I think you need to tell him he just misunderstood.”

Mark gives a small shrug.

“I don't think you want him to cool off,” Jinyoung says slyly. “I think you want to warm things up.”

Mark rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “I'm trying to take things slow.”

“That's new for you,” Jinyoung says, making an impressed noise. “But I guess it's a good idea.”

“Have you thought about slowing things down with Jaebum?” Mark asks.

“I think it might be a little too late for that,” Jinyoung admits, and then bites his lip. “I wish we had just a little more time.”

Mark nods, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. It’s not just Jinyoung who’s feeling this way. The week is hurtling by at an alarming rate, and summer even faster. It won’t be long before they’ll be off to different colleges, different lives and Mark feels uneasy at the idea of losing touch. He curls into Jinyoung’s side and grips on a little tighter.

 


	7. wedding bells

 

  
Morning games consist of giant Scrabble-style alphabet tiles, strewn across the game field. The teams scurry to collect their letters and then set out in four corners to crossword them up for the highest score.

Counselors and spirit guides are allowed to assist with spelling, but otherwise are set back from the action while the kids argue and strategize together. 

Jinyoung tries valiantly to avoid staring at Jaebum. But he's become so hyper-aware of the other, it feels like he can sense the other’s presence regardless of sight. They'll be turned away, backs to each other, and Jinyoung will feel a tickling along his spine, and he'll know they're directly opposite. 

He feels it now, and he sneaks a peek over his shoulder. Sure enough, there's Jaebum's broad back, as he surveys the Fire team’s progress. Jinyoung looks away when he sees the muscles tense in Jaebum's neck. 

He feels warmer then, and he knows Jaebum is looking at him in return. Jinyoung bites his lip and resists the urge to pose a little bit.

“These two are so gross,” Wonpil complains, nudging Mark as they watch from farther back.

Mark glances between them. “What do you mean? They're not even looking at each other.”

“Because they keep just missing the other one,” says Wonpil, shaking his head. “Jinyoung looks over at him, pretending to be casual, and then turns away. That's when Jaebum turns around and devours his ass with his eyes.”

“Jaebum devours _what_?” Says a soft voice behind them, and Wonpil and Mark startle, physically jerking apart to find Nayeon standing there. 

“Oh, Nayeon,” says Mark quietly, unsure how to react. “You're visiting again?”

Wonpil looks less ruffled, unaware of her connection.

Nayeon gives Mark a small, tight smile. “Yeah,” she says. “Dad had some more business and you know, I love it up here.”

“Sure,” Mark says, uncomfortable. He's never even seen her attend a camp, only visiting shortly.

“Were you talking about JB?” She repeats, eyes sharply darting through the crowd.

“No,” says Mark faintly, just as Wonpil says: “yeah.”

Wonpil realizes his mistake a half-second later, noticing Mark’s warning frown and slight shake of his head, and then glancing back at Nayeon.

“I _mean_! Just teasing him! Fire team is our natural rival,” he attempts, turning around and focusing on the campers. “ _Go_ Water,” Wonpil murmurs, looking pained.

Nayeon clears her throat, and then she's smiling again, and Mark is almost impressed with her acting.

“Looks fun,” she mumbles, watching closely as Jaebum turns around again.

This time, Jinyoung turns in time, and Mark curses silently as they all witness them making eye contact. Jaebum smiles in a way Mark’s never seen before, crescent-shaped eyes and round cheeks, like a little boy. Jinyoung remains more demure, peeking over his shoulder with a soft expression before shyly turning back. 

Mark’s mouth goes dry, remembering telling Youngjae they didn't seem serious. He sneaks a peek at Wonpil and Nayeon, and both of their smiles have faded.

  
//

  
For free time duty, Jinyoung is assigned to archery, an area of camp he has yet to explore. It's run by Sehun, a tall, lean boy with an impressive array of blank expressions. Jinyoung's never seen so many different ways to look bored.

He shows Jinyoung the basics, then shows him how to help campers with arm guards and finger tabs, and to keep them all behind the railing until everyone’s out of arrows.

Despite his inexperience with the sport, Jinyoung finds he enjoys the quiet pace of this corner of camp. It’s much quieter than the pool and games room, but there’s still an element of competition. At one point it’s particularly slow, and Yugyeom comes by with BamBam in tow, as well as Namjoon and Yoongi from Mark’s cabin. Jinyoung relaxes on a side bench and giggles as the four take over, playfully making fun of each other’s efforts.

“Park Jinyoung-ssi,” someone chirps in greeting, and he’s slammed with panic as he recognizes Nayeon, settling a seat down from him on the bench.

“Oh,” breathes Jinyoung, sitting up straighter. “Nayeon, you’re here for another day?”

“Just a few hours,” she says breezily. She’s smiling but it doesn’t reach her eyes today. It feels cooler compared to how she was around Jaebum. Not insincere, but indifferent. 

Jinyoung rubs at his knees nervously. “How fun for you,” he says.

“I’d like to be direct,” she says, face hardening. She isn’t looking at him, and Jinyoung feels his hands get clammy already. He’s not shy of confrontation, but there are campers nearby and he’s not sure what they’ll overhear.

“I don’t know exactly what’s going on with you two,” Nayeon admits. “I’ve only seen googly eyes so far, and Wonpil wouldn’t elaborate after I overheard him saying something about eating ass.”

Jinyoung nearly chokes on his own spit, abruptly glancing up to see if the campers are listening. They’re luckily at the far end of the range, collecting their arrows from the target and surrounding hay bales, but Sehun is pointedly staring at the ground with wide, startled eyes. Jinyoung winces and looks back down at his lap.

“I don’t care,” Nayeon continues, voice steady. “I don’t care because it’s a little too _late_ , you know? I don’t know how much he’s told you, if he’s told you at all – but we’re getting married. It was supposed to be next year, but my mother and I are planning on bumping it up; a Christmas wedding would be really amazing. Especially up here – you should see it in winter, snow all over the field like a blanket, pine trees with icicles. It’s so lovely.”

Jinyoung can only imagine, swallowing down a guilty lump in his throat.

“There’s a little old chapel, if you go up further past the fire circle,” Nayeon gushes, “leftover from a few generations back when they used to host a few religious camps up here too. It’ll have to be a pretty small ceremony, but we can have a big reception in the city after. What matters is this camp is what brought us together.”

Jinyoung stares at his hands, weaving his fingers together and undone again, every word piercing through his chest. She’s being honest, he can tell. She’s so genuinely enthusiastic. She’s clearly thought this through, even started planning. A wedding in December - does she already have a dress? His ears are starting to ring, the blood churning in his ears as his face burns in humiliation.

“I always knew he’d be a little cold at the beginning,” she says, voice softer. “Jaebum’s been with plenty of girls but he never acts like he needs them. So I knew it would be tough at first. But he’ll come around, because there’s nothing else to do. He’ll have what he wants - his family will be happy. And then once his parents mellow out and get older, and Jaebum is in charge, we’ll turn this place into something really worthwhile.”

Jinyoung startles, glancing up at her in confusion. “Worthwhile?” He echoes, the word tasting bitter.

“We’ll sell it to a spa or something,” she waves a hand. “Maybe a resort chain. Or to somebody rich so they can turn it into a really fancy bed and breakfast, you know? Like G-Dragon. Whatever happens; the land is profitable. The camp isn’t.” She turns and smiles at him then. “My sister got to marry a man who was already rich. My match is just going to take a little more work.”

Jinyoung’s stomach aches, and he nods his head. “What do you want me to say?” He asks, after a long moment of her gazing at him with bright eyes.

“I don’t need you to say anything,” Nayeon admits. “It's all going to take care of itself. I just wanted to be honest. You've got to understand: Jaebum is too good a boy to go against his parents. He looks tough, but he’s never been very wild. He’s not going to change their minds.”

Jinyoung has an intrusive, inappropriate memory come to mind, of a wild Jaebum slamming him over a desk. Jinyoung feels himself flush, and then goes seasick with emotion, the memory dissipating into nausea as he remembers where he is and the discomfort of their conversation.

“Thanks for being honest,” he says faintly, voice creaking as he tries to fight an urge to cry. Again, he feels completely insignificant. Like his experiences are rightfully going to be swept away. She pats his hand gently, and he wants to yank it away from her soft fingertips.

“Are you going to take a turn, miss?” Sehun is suddenly by the bench, bow at his side.

“What? No?” Nayeon looks up, surprised.

“If you’re not shooting, could you leave the bench to some of the campers in line, please?” Sehun says stiffly, gesturing at one lone camper standing aside, who looks startled to be pointed at.

“Why?” She wonders, but she withdraws her hand from Jinyoung and starts to stand anyhow. 

“It’s safety code,” Sehun shrugs, turning away. Jinyoung stares at his back intensely and tries to telepathically thank him.

“Safety code? What about Jinyoung?” Nayeon presses, standing but reluctant to leave. She looks a little frazzled at being suddenly ordered away.

“He’s on counselor duty,” Sehun says over his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “He has to be here.”

Nayeon huffs a bit, smoothing out her shorts and finally moving away. “I’ll be going, then.”

“That’s what I told you,” Sehun mumbles, helping a camper untangle himself from a quiver.

She glares at him and then turns back to Jinyoung briefly. Jinyoung thinks he sees something like an apology in her expression, but then he abruptly realizes it’s pity.

“It might be hard to hear,” Nayeon says, “but you deserve the truth.” With this, she flounces away, glaring at Sehun one more time.

  
//

  
At dinner, Jinyoung sulks. 

He feels irrationally angry at himself, digging his fingers into his knee until he can feel his own nails through the denim. Why couldn’t he say anything to her? He’s usually quick on his feet with an insult, doling out sass and salt to even his best of friends. 

Instead, he’d frozen. Someone he didn't even know had to step in.

And it's not as if she'd been particularly condemning. She hadn't insulted him directly, except by way of invalidating whatever was going on with Jaebum.

Whatever was going on, he considers, is their business. He was getting awfully tired of other people telling them they're going to get hurt. It was already hurting him.

“I think tonight is the counselor hunt,” Yugyeom is suddenly saying to him, mouth covered in crumbs.

Jinyoung reaches out and wipes them off, even licking his thumb and smearing it across Yugyeom's cheek with a teasing coo. Everyone at the table laughs as Yugyeom pulls away so hard he nearly topples out his chair.

“ _Hyung_ ,” he whines, hiding his face behind an elbow.

“What's the counselor hunt?” Chanwoo asks, before Jinyoung has a chance.

“They do it every year,” says Seungyoon. “The counselors and some of the staff get to hide around camp, and we find them for points. But if the counselors stay hidden until midnight, their team gets a big bonus.”

“Jinyoung hyung, you better hide somewhere good,” Seunghoon says.

Jinyoung furrows his brow a bit, less enthusiastic. “Where would _you_ guys hide?” He asks, looking around the table.

“On a roof?” Suggests Seungyoon. “Wear black and lay flat.”

“Maybe not a roof,” Yugyeom warns, “BamBam said last year somebody slipped off of Crafting Corner and got hurt.”

“Under the dining hall stairs? You know the part under the deck that's trellised off?” Taehyun suggests. “Bobby and Hanbin were saying sometimes guys go under there with girls.”

Seunghoon and Seungyoon snicker. “What would _they_ know about girls?” Seunghoon teases.

Chanwoo wrinkles his nose. “And wouldn't there be a bunch of bugs down there?” He asks, disturbed.

Jinyoung makes a matching face. “No bug places, please,” he says.

“So, climbing a tree is out?” Jinwoo asks.

“I feel like these are all places campers will definitely find me,” Jinyoung admits.

“Maybe you could ask somebody on summer staff,” says Yugyeom. “They probably have better ideas.”

Jinyoung hums and turns his attention back to his food, trying to ignore the first face that comes to mind. 

Sure enough, after dessert, Jackson gives the same instructions for the counselor hunt. “I've been informed that roofs are _out_ this year,” he says, frowning. 

“That said, I've decided we should open it up in other areas. Counselors and staffers can now hide indoors - anywhere campers are normally allowed to go.” Campers murmur with excitement and Jackson looks pleased. 

“Other restrictions are still in place – the director’s house is still off-limits, and no floating under a canoe in the lake or anything dangerous. Use your discretion, counselors, and remember that in the best case, you might be staying wherever you choose until midnight.”

A girls’ counselor raises her hand, and Jackson gestures for her to speak. “Can I move to other spots? What if we move around the whole time?” She asks.

Jackson considers it and then nods. “Sure, if you think you can make that work. But remember, if a camper asks you if you're still in the game, you have to be honest and let them take you in.”

The kids buzz even more, everyone strategizing and trying to advise their counselors.

“The spirit guides and some of the other program staff will be participating too.” Jackson continues. “Meet down in the games room in ten minutes - counselors, you should consider some camouflage. Hiders will head out from there and have fifteen minutes to pick a spot.” He pauses for dramatic effect.

“Then, they’ll be _hunted down_!” He howls.

  
//

  
Once everyone has changed and the counselors and staffers are milling about in front of the games room, Wonpil and Mark corner Jinyoung.

“Has she said anything to you?” Mark asks quietly.

Jinyoung glares silently at Wonpil.

“Oh come _on_ ,” Wonpil says, “nobody told me he had a fiancé, let alone a nosy one. I didn't say anything on purpose.” He sighs, and then his expression softens. “What did she say?”

Jinyoung remains quiet, looking down at his sandals.

“What did she say to you?” Mark repeats, squeezing his elbow.

“She told me her wedding plans and that I didn't matter and they're gonna sell the land and Jaebum is just too _good_ , sorry.”

“Sell the land?” Mark snaps. “Wasn't the whole damn point so he could keep running the camp?”  
   
Jinyoung shrugs, swatting away their creeping hands and feeling nettled. It's none of his business, as everyone seems to keep reminding him.

Dara sounds an air horn and everyone starts to disperse around them to hiding spots. Wonpil runs off toward the sports field and Mark squeezes his arm one more time. 

“Jinyoungie,” he says softly. “Are you really okay?” 

“Where are you going to hide?” Jinyoung ignores his question.

“Sehun gave me the key to the archery locker,” Mark says, “I think I can fit in there.”

Jinyoung nods and watches him take off. He still doesn't know where to go.

He starts walking along the camp road briskly, figuring he’ll pick a dark corner and let them find him quickly. He isn't keen on the idea of being left alone in the dark for three hours at the moment. 

As he passes the staff dorms, he eyes the well-worn path through the woods to the fire circle. The dark, quiet forest seems intimidating, but Nayeon’s words come to mind again.

_There’s a little old chapel, if you go up further past the fire circle._

Jinyoung wonders, stepping off the asphalt and into the forest. If it's not available to the campers, it will be locked, right? If it is or if it seems too far, he’ll turn back and hide behind the dorms, he assures himself.

Each creak of pine needles in the dark makes his stomach twist, and he grips his phone a little tighter as he holds it out in flashlight mode.

He passes the fire circle, where he spies Soohyun poorly hidden behind the stone fire ring. He waves cheerfully, and she grimaces and waves back reluctantly.

He continues along what he guesses is the same path, and then the trees clear a little to reveal a chapel. The red paint looks faded, greying out especially by moonlight, but the structure seems sound. He wonders again if this was a good choice or not.

Jinyoung reaches out to try the handle, and it pulls open without much resistance. He slips inside and turns off his phone light. It's fairly well-lit, moonbeams flooding the room thanks to windows set high along the edging of the steeply angled ceiling.

On the stage, a head peeks out from behind a dusty podium.

It's Jaebum, of course, and the heavy door shutting behind Jinyoung sounds like the gavel of a death sentence.

“Hey,” Jaebum murmurs, in shock. “How did you know about this place?”

Jinyoung presses back against the door, staring down the long center aisle of the church at Jaebum as he gets to his feet and moves toward him.

“You don't want to know,” Jinyoung says quietly.

Jaebum's small smile shifts into a small frown, and he moves forward again. Jinyoung braces his shoulders against the door, inexplicably nervous. 

“What do you mean?” Jaebum asks.

Jinyoung steps farther in finally, looking around and finding two opposite bathrooms in the foyer space, a little sound booth at the back of the main hall, and rows of dusty chairs.

“Can I use this spot?” Jinyoung deflects, moving into the sound booth and ducking under a table holding a simple soundboard.

Jaebum follows him, crouching and giving him a serious look. “What did you mean?” He repeats. 

Jinyoung sighs, drawing his knees up to his chest and gazing across at the other boy. It feels strange to try and have a conversation about this, since they've danced around the issue so long. 

“Nayeon talked to me,” he admits. 

Jaebum's face flickers with something sour. He doesn't ask how she knows. “What did she say to you?” He asks, and Jinyoung is reminded of Mark's same way of asking the same question. The warm, protective press of the tone makes his heart clench.

“She told me this was where you were going to get married — at Christmas, when there's icicles on the trees and snow on the field.” Jinyoung says. 

Jaebum frowns. “Christmas?” He repeats. “It's not supposed to be for another year.”

“She explained that she doesn't care,” Jinyoung continues. “About what happens between us. It doesn't matter.” He clears his throat, gives a hollow smile. “So that's nice. Green light.”

“Did she say,” Jaebum pauses, looking over his face intently. “Did she say anything else? She didn't hurt you or anything, did she?”

Jinyoung tilts his head, wondering how to explain the pain it caused without admitting he's so obviously developed feelings for Jaebum. Something he can’t quite fully admit to himself.

“No,” he says hoarsely, not meeting his eyes. “She was really very polite.”

Jaebum leans forward onto his hands and knees, crawls into the small space and settles beside him. They sit beside each other quietly, Jaebum's legs spread out wide, his thigh touching Jinyoung’s hip. Jinyoung stays curled up and tries not to notice. It’s comfortable, even in silence.

“You went to school with Jimin and them?” Jaebum suddenly asks, and it feels like they're back at the party, starting from scratch.

Jinyoung nods. 

“You must not live too far,” Jaebum says.

Jinyoung's ears flush as he wonders if there’s any implication. “It was about a forty-five minute drive,” he says. 

There's a strange tension developing in the gaps of their bland conversation. Jinyoung feels like if he moves, something will snap between them.

“If you,” Jaebum starts, and then pauses, looking down at his lap. Jinyoung turns to stare at him, desperately curious.

“If you take Beaver Creek before you get into town, instead of the main road, you shave off a lot of time,” he says feebly, and Jinyoung is certain that's not what he meant to say.

Jinyoung hums and looks away. They’re silent a little longer.

“Do you like to read?” Jaebum finally asks. 

Jinyoung bites his lip, and then nods, turning to smile at him sincerely. This breaks the tension, and they spend the next hour talking about books, music, and their families, shoes kicked off and relaxing. 

They’ve read a lot of the same books, though Jaebum more nonfiction and Jinyoung more poetry, but they’re eager to meet in the middle with recommendations. They’re more different with music, but as Jaebum soulfully hums a few bars of his favorites, Jinyoung thinks he’d listen to anything he suggests.

Jaebum ends up with his head cradled in Jinyoung's lap, telling him about the time five year old Youngjae fell out of a rowboat on the lake and Jaebum had to jump in after him.

“I should have let my dad get him, but I just thought I could do it,” he’s saying, and Jinyoung stares down at his face, a shiver tracing down his spine as he watches the tension in his tightly shut eyes. “I had to do something. But the water was so dark, and our clothes made us so heavy; even when I grabbed him I felt so small.” 

“You _were_ small,” Jinyoung reminds him. “You had to have been what, seven?”

Jaebum’s eyes open, bright and twinkling. “Yeah,” he says with a laugh, “and Youngjae used to be a really fat toddler.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes, but he smiles at the image of a round, miniature Youngjae.

“I could barely paddle us back to the boat and my dad just reached in and grabbed the back of my pants, threw both of us back in with one hand.” Jaebum’s eyes are soft now, cheeks pink and fond. “I knew I wanted to be a better swimmer because of that. I knew my dad wouldn't always be there.”

Jinyoung's heart twists, and he can’t stop himself from running a hand through Jaebum's hair, pushing it back off his forehead and softly running his nails over his scalp.

Jaebum looks up at him in silence, eyes shimmering, lovely little lips parted. Jinyoung wants desperately to scoop his face up and taste them. He can't help but wrap both hands around his cheeks in anticipation. Jaebum's eyes are fixed on his mouth and Jinyoung knows he wants it too.

But there's a sudden clamor of voices outside, and Jaebum springs up so quickly he nearly knocks into Jinyoung's head. He looks around the little sound booth quickly, and gathers a few dusty crates of old albums closer to them. He crowds them into just a corner under the table, drawing the boxes tight in around them for some coverage.

Jinyoung wants to squeak in protest as Jaebum clambers nearly into his lap, curling over him in the tiny nook, wants to point out that if they’re found, it’ll look quite suspicious. But the campers have come into the chapel now, voices louder and the door slamming open and shut.

Their shared breath sounds incredibly loud to Jinyoung, Jaebum puffing against his neck. But the kids scrambling through the room don’t seem to have noticed yet.

“Can we go?” Someone is complaining. “It’s spooky as hell in here.”

“Don’t be a baby, Bobby.” Someone else snaps.

“Fine, sure, but like - you’re a ghost, where’s the most peaceful place you could chill out up here?”

“Shut up,” someone else echoes from the bathroom.

“The _abandoned chapel,_ duh,” Bobby continues, murmuring under his breath and sounding closer to Jinyoung and Jaebum’s hiding spot. 

“Whoa, look at these records,” He says, voice very loud and near as he must be thumbing through an adjacent crate. Jaebum tenses up from where he hovers over Jinyoung, fingers curling around his biceps until they’re sore. “Aw it’s all like gospel shit, I shoulda known,” Bobby complains.

“Alright, nobody’s in here,” someone says after a long, quiet moment. “Let’s go. We've gotta turn Soohyun in for points anyway.”

Another few minutes pass as the kids make less and less noise on their way out. Then there's a slam of the door and everything is quiet again. Jaebum and Jinyoung stay still and silent for another moment longer, waiting for them to get farther away.

Jaebum leans back, presses some of the boxes back out of the way and looks at Jinyoung, flopped back on his elbows and mouth gasping for air. Jaebum watches him, but doesn't move too far.

“Can I kiss you?” Jaebum asks, voice pitched low.

Jinyoung blushes, blinking in surprise at the question, and then curls his lips into a small smile. “You suddenly have to ask?” He wonders.

Jaebum crawls back toward him, eyes on his mouth as he speaks. “I really tried – I didn't think we should do anything tonight,” he says. “I didn't want you to think I was only after one thing.”  
   
Jinyoung’s breath hitches slightly. “Since when have you been after something else?” He asks, not unkindly, but curious.

Jaebum leans back over him, burying his nose in his neck and inhaling deeply, running a hand down his side, curling it under his hip and cupping the excess of Jinyoung's round ass.

“I don't know,” he says honestly, words stripped bare for him to process. He's not flirting. He's being serious. “I want a lot more,” he admits, with almost a whine.

“More what?” Jinyoung presses, reaching up to brush the hair out of his eyes, so he can see the tenderness in them, so he can anchor onto something that's real in this moment. So that Jaebum can see his own eyes, his own willingness. His heart is thundering in his chest, his blood pounding in his ears, his fingertips buzzing against Jaebum's skin.

“More of you,” Jaebum says, and then he's kissing him slowly, tongue moving languidly between his lips and dragging against the roof of his mouth. They part loudly, and he breathes heavily into his jaw again. “More of us. Together.”

Jinyoung wants desperately to ask what he means, if _together_ could ever mean what he wants it to mean. Instead he stays quiet, lets Jaebum kiss back into his mouth and gently pry his knees apart so he can fit himself between.

“Do you want more of me too, Jinyoung?” Jaebum whispers into his ear.

Jinyoung nods, not caring about misunderstanding, not caring if they're talking about different things. Any bit of Jaebum, Jinyoung wants. He’ll take as much or as little as he can get. 

If it means Jaebum wants him to drive up every weekend until his wedding, he will. If it means Jaebum writes to him and pines over him from afar, he'll write back. If it means Jaebum ties him up in this chapel and keeps him as a pet — well, Jinyoung has some boundaries but it doesn't sound too bad at the moment.

Jaebum cradles him gently backward, hovering over him and warmly moving his body with his own. He presses his hips into Jinyoung’s so his thighs spread, helps support the back of his neck so their lips can meet again. “C’mere,” he whispers.

Jaebum kisses him gently, lips moving slowly across Jinyoung's, and the hazy feeling of pleasure from just their shared warmth reminds him of their time in the tub. 

It's the same emotional tug he’d felt at the end of their first night, but without the tint of melancholy. Instead, as Jaebum starts to rut against him slowly, Jinyoung feels hopeful. Hopeful this is for him alone, hopeful this boy could be his for now.

Jinyoung rolls his groin up against him lazily, content with the feel of Jaebum hardening against him. He's certain this is the most they'll have time for in the middle of a game. 

Jaebum's noises intensify, however, and he's soon reaching between them to tug at the waistband of Jinyoung's shorts. 

Jinyoung shudders and tries to swat his hands away. “Anybody could walk in,” he gasps.

Jaebum is nodding, looking thoughtful, and then he’s scrambling off of him, shuffling boxes out of the way and striding out to the entrance. Jinyoung hears it bolt, and his heart shudders with it. He feels himself twitch in his underwear, and he breathes deeply to calm his nerves. 

Jaebum scurries back in another moment, this time with a backpack he must have stowed earlier when he was hiding on the stage.

He digs around for a second and then pulls out a bottle of lube and Jinyoung gapes at it in surprise. “I thought you said you didn’t think we’d be doing anything tonight?”

“I didn’t pack it for _tonight_ , I just thought: if you were around and I was around, sometime,” Jaebum says, cheeks pink. 

Jinyoung’s stomach twists in excitement, and a nervous laugh bubbles out of him as Jaebum crawls over. 

But then a sudden thought strikes him, and he nearly hiccups a little as he gasps and puts a hand to Jaebum’s chest.

“Wait,” he says. “We’re in a _church_ , you know? And Nayeon–Nayeon said you’re going to get married here, and…”

“Does it bother you?” Jaebum asks, pupils blown. His hand is slowly traveling up the inside of Jinyoung’s leg, tickling through the sparse hairs.

Jinyoung thinks it doesn’t bother him theoretically - a church is just a place, and he’s never been particularly spiritual. But to know it’s a place that could be so intimately important to Jaebum in the future, it feels off limits. Like he's intruding.

“It doesn't bother _you_?” Jinyoung tries rewording it. “You're the one who has to come back here.”

“I'd rather come back with a good memory,” Jaebum says. “I want to remember it this way. In the dark, in the summer, with you.”

Jinyoung struggles with what he's hearing, but he doesn't want to question him further. He nods, mouth falling open, ready to taste him again. Jaebum curls over him, lips parting against his without hesitation.

Jinyoung tries to steady his breathing, as Jaebum's hands travel along both his legs, up under his shorts until the legs are scrunched high around his thighs. Jaebum grips at his ass, kneads the soft flesh around and apart. 

Jinyoung drowns into his kisses, which feel so strangely familiar and welcoming, it makes him dizzy.

Jinyoung lets his legs fall wide open, tucks his knees up so his ass more directly cradles Jaebum's erection, and Jaebum absolutely whimpers into his mouth. He digs his fingers into Jinyoung's asscheeks, nibbling at his lower lip needily. He bucks into the cleft once, twice, then drags himself away.

“Do you,” Jaebum whines, drawing back and yanking Jinyoung's shorts and underwear down and off. “Do you understand what a great ass you have?” 

Jinyoung flushes, embarrassed by both the compliment and Jaebum leaving him bottomless. It feels awkward, still in a big sweatshirt, so he shimmies out of that as well. 

Naked, Jinyoung moves to pull Jaebum's shirt off, but Jaebum dips out of his grasp and starts to plant kisses along his chest, taking time to lap lightly at his nipples. 

“Not... fair,” Jinyoung mumbles, squirming and gasping under his touch. He tugs at Jaebum's shirt again.

Jaebum relents, shrugging out of his top and then slipping off his bottoms as well. Again, Jinyoung notices how his pants come down with no underwear, and the thought of Jaebum going free all the time drives him crazy. He doesn't know why it suddenly strikes him as so sexy.

But he’s quickly distracted by something sexier - Jabeum's hard cock, thumping thick and red against his stomach. Jinyoung licks his lips slowly, and when he blinks up, Jaebum is staring at his mouth, mesmerized.  
   
“Where did you learn to tease like that? It's heartless,” Jaebum wonders as he lubes his fingers, and then frowns, an immediate air of envy creeping across his expression. “Nevermind,” he mumbles.

Jinyoung hides a small smile with a kiss, meant to be short and sweet, but Jaebum nearly devours him. Once Jinyoung seems adequately distracted, he thrusts a finger into him.

Jinyoung cries out, breaking the kiss and burying his face into Jaebum's neck. He tries to relax, tries to ignore the rub of the carpet against his back.

“I've got you,” Jaebum is saying against his ear, and his other hand brushes through his hair and strokes his nape tenderly, cradling his neck.

“Let me know if it hurts,” he breathes, working his finger in and out, and Jinyoung feels himself start to adjust. He braces his knees around Jaebum's waist, and Jaebum shifts, pressing another fingertip at his entrance. 

Jinyoung steadies his breathing, counting in his head for a moment and then nuzzles into Jaebum's jaw. Jaebum recognizes his unspoken request for more and dips the second finger in, starting to pump them in together.

He scissors him open bit by bit, whispering comforting words against Jinyoung's cheek, kissing along the warm blush that blooms there.

He's twisting three fingers into him before Jinyoung realizes it, and with the cutest frown of concentration, he nudges them softly against his prostate. 

Jinyoung lets his head fall back, eyes screwed shut as he bucks blindly against his fingers. “ _Fuck_ ,” he cries out, and Jaebum shushes him gently, and then is pulling his fingers out despite Jinyoung's desperate thrusts.

Jaebum hikes Jinyoung's ankles up over his shoulders, and Jinyoung trembles as he feels Jaebum's leaking cock start to press into him. 

He rams in the rest of the way, and Jinyoung feels like his world might split apart. He tries to stays quiet, gasping as Jaebum stills, gazing down at him warmly.

Jinyoung reaches up to cup his face, tries to steady himself enough to commit his expression to memory. Jaebum blinks at the gentle touch, eyes shining.

Jaebum dips and kisses him soundly, softly lapping into his mouth. Jinyoung holds his face in both hands, meeting his gentle kisses gratefully as Jaebum starts to roll his hips at an agonizing pace. 

“God,” Jaebum hisses, and Jinyoung tries not to think about how they're definitely going to hell for desecrating this church. He never expected to be here again, to feel so good and so bad at the same time. And it feels _so_ good, both the physical drag of Jaebum's cock against his insides, and the ineffable sensation of feeling connected.

He's slamming into him now, and Jinyoung feels the skin on his back start to break as Jaebum fucks him hard, into the carpet. The pleasure of Jaebum's length moving inside him can't quite mask the pain, so he grips at his shoulders and whines, stops meeting his thrusts.

Jaebum stops, opening his eyes in alarm, and Jinyoung presses his shoulders to the side.

“Roll over,” he moans, back stinging.

Jaebum doesn't protest, nearly knocking his head against the table in his hurry to comply. He pulls out and dips to the side to flop onto his back. 

Jinyoung is grateful to be out from under the table and sit upright, and he eases himself back onto Jaebum's cock with a sigh. Thighs spread wide, he takes control, one hand pressing against Jaebum's chest for balance, and starts to ride.

The pressure at this angle is exquisite, and Jinyoung leans back in bliss, touching himself. He lets Jaebum get a good view of his cock driving into him. Jaebum's face crumples with wonder as he watches.

“Fuck,” Jinyoung gasps again, as Jaebum starts bucking up to meet his motions, and the slap of their skin gets louder. 

Jinyoung snaps his hips in a circle, and the twist of it makes Jaebum curse and squeeze his eyes shut, fucking into him blindly. The heat of it all is too much, and Jinyoung can feel it pressing him over the brink. He comes first, gasping as it spills between them and still working his hips against Jaebum’s.

Jaebum follows quickly. His thrusts get sloppy, bouncing Jinyoung’s exhausted, pliant form in his lap until he clamps down on his thighs to keep his dick inside as he shoots, twitching.

Jinyoung mewls as he feels Jaebum release inside of him, the warm sensation overwhelming him. Worn out and filled up, he flops off of Jaebum with a sigh, collapsing to the floor on his stomach. 

Jaebum is still breathing shaky, but he rolls over and stares across at Jinyoung, traces a finger gently down his back. “You're hurt,” he says sadly, noticing the rug burn. “It's all raw. I'm sorry.”

His voice sounds positively heartbroken, but Jinyoung feels so satisfied, he can't let him apologize.

“It’s not bad,” Jinyoung insists, turning so he can face him instead, and they curve toward one another like parentheses. The silence that stretches between them is comfortable, even though Jaebum still looks concerned and Jinyoung can't help but mull over his previous declaration of wanting more.

A sharp shiver runs through him, and realizes laying naked in an unheated building isn't the wisest choice. Jaebum scoots over before Jinyoung can reach for his clothes, and he suddenly finds himself being cuddled.

It leaves him speechless as Jaebum wraps his arms around him and invites him to rest his head against his bicep. Jinyoung does so hesitantly, breathing in their mixed musk on Jaebum's skin and finding comfort there. He can hear Jaebum's heartbeat and he shuts his eyes to focus on it. 

“I like you,” says Jaebum quietly — so quietly Jinyoung wonders if he imagined it, and his heart nearly propels out of his chest. 

Jinyoung stays silent, suddenly unsure of how to respond.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is.... way too long probably? I was going to cut it off right before they did the do, but I didn't want to leave you another cliffhanger so quickly. I hope you appreciate it, even though it meant... over 6k of garbage words to wade thru..


	8. unwinding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for hanging in here while I write way more than I intended for this fic haha. I am thinking about starting a new Tumblr so I can blubber more about JJP... follow me @sugarsugarbowl if that appeals to you. I haven't started posting yet but I will try~ 
> 
> Anyway this chapter is a little transitional, not much direct JJP interaction but stuff! Happens! I hope you enjoy a little bit of Jaebum focus.

 

 

_“I like you,” says Jaebum quietly — so quietly Jinyoung wonders if he imagined it, and his heart nearly propels out of his chest._

_Jinyoung stays silent, suddenly unsure of how to respond._

Jaebum leans back to look down at his expression. “I don't know if I've ever been rejected so peacefully,” he hums, squeezing Jinyoung's arm.

Jinyoung's eyes pop open and he shakes his head hastily. “I didn't… I’m not—!” He gasps.

Jaebum tightly smiles at him. “It's okay,” he says. “I know it's not fair to ask you. I just don't think I can keep pretending I don't care. About you.”

Jinyoung sighs, searching for the right words. “Jaebum,” he says gently. “I don't want to carve out more of your life than I deserve.”

Jaebum peers down at him with a puzzled smile. “I'm not sure I know what that means,” he admits. “I just like you. I like being around you. I like kissing you. I like fucking you. I think you probably deserve something better than me. But I'm letting you know anyway, and I’d really like to know if you like me too.”

“Of course I like you too,” Jinyoung whispers, embarrassed by how his voice wobbles. “What kind of idiot would run around camp with you like this and not even like you?”

Jaebum laughs softly, watching the way Jinyoung's eyes flare up.

“But—,” he starts, and Jaebum interrupts him, tugging his shoulder further into his side.

“I know,” says Jaebum. “I guess we both know the buts already. Let’s not talk about that.” He smiles gently, running his hand down Jinyoung's chin, throat and chest. “You make me feel really good.”

Jinyoung bites his lip, nodding.

Jaebum's hands continue to stroke along his skin, moving gingerly and avoiding any raw spots. Jinyoung enjoys how solid his body feels against his. Jaebum is thicker than the other boys he's cuddled, arms and thighs not rippling with muscle but warm, solid, undeniably strong.

Jinyoung simultaneously loves and hates this moment, and finally peels himself away with an anxious face.

“What time is it?” He murmurs, wriggling back into his underwear and jeans.

Jaebum sits up and watches, still shamelessly naked, eyes appraising. 

“I set an alarm on my phone for midnight,” he says. “So we’re probably still okay.”

Jinyoung shimmies back into his top and then digs his phone out of his pants. “It's ten til,” he murmurs. “I want to unlock the door again, just in case. So we weren't always… cheating at the game.”

Jaebum nods, slipping back into his clothes reluctantly.

Jinyoung unbolts the door and hesitates beside it for a moment. The word _cheating_ echoes in his head. 

Jaebum has seemed flippant about his impending marriage, and now seems to be more serious about pursuing something more with Jinyoung. He doesn't expect Jinyoung to be his mistress, does he? Even if it's for more than this week, it's not going to be beyond the wedding, right?

Maybe the bigger question is: if that's what Jaebum wanted, would Jinyoung do it? He's never considered himself the type to interfere with a relationship, understands it would be devastating if they were emotionally committed. But if Jaebum is forced into it, and it's loveless, would Jinyoung do it?

The thought unnerves Jinyoung, and he feels nauseous. The sudden brush of Jaebum's hands along his arms makes him actually startle, twisting away. 

“Hey,” says Jaebum. “You kinda went… _away_ for a minute.”

“Sorry,” Jinyoung ducks his head shyly. “Just thinking.”

Jaebum's phone goes off, and he fishes it out to silence it, glancing up at Jinyoung. His face suddenly looks nervous, and then he unlocks his phone and brings up a new text message, shoving it into Jinyoung’s hand. “Put your number in,” he says.

Jinyoung can feel his whole body flushing, unsure why such a small, typical exchange is feeling momentous. His fingers tremble a bit as he enters his number, and then pauses for a moment as he stares at the empty message field, trying to think of any random thing to send to himself. He panics as it seems like time drags by around him, and before he can think of anything better taps out “ _kiss kiss_ ,” sends it and locks the screen immediately.

Jinyoung thrusts Jaebum’s phone back at him, and Jaebum is giving him a small, soft smile. They both look at the door expectantly.

“Maybe I should go first,” Jinyoung suggests.

“No,” says Jaebum after a pause, reaching across him to push open the door. “Let's go together.”

They walk back to the camp road together, Jinyoung aching quite a bit and unable to move very quickly. Jaebum holds his hand as long as they crunch along the forest path.

Once they step back onto asphalt, Jaebum lets his hand drop. Jinyoung tries to look cool and unaffected, focuses on heading back to the games room. Jaebum stays close, at least, the warmth of his shoulder still bumping into his, hand guiding the small of his back on hills and other difficult parts.

As they pass the archery range, Jinyoung sees the locker left wide open and some arrows on the ground. Mark must have been caught. Jinyoung eyes the bench there sulkily, and suddenly stops walking as something occurs to him.

Jaebum continues for a few steps before turning back, wondering why Jinyoung stopped. “You okay? Is your back hurting much?” He asks.

“Nayeon said something else,” says Jinyoung.

Jaebum's face of concern hardens, brow set serious and heavy like Jinyoung hasn't seen before.

“She was saying… Her sister married a rich man but her match would take a little more work,” Jinyoung stammers, trying to be precise. He doesn't want to overstate it, it might not mean anything serious. Maybe she was just running her mouth.

Jaebum scratches his head, looking mildly irritated. “What?” He asks.

“She said the camp isn't profitable,” Jinyoung looks down at his feet, embarrassed to tattle but knowing Jaebum deserves the truth. “She said once you take over, once your parents move on, that you two will sell it.”

Jaebum gapes at him, irritation melted away to complete and utter shock. “Sell it?” He repeats, and he moves toward Jinyoung, and then swiftly back toward the dining hall. He freezes in place, staring at the grand building, glowing warmly before them. 

“She said that was their plan? Her parents told her that?” Jaebum asks, snapping his head back. His eyes are gleaming, bewildered.

Jinyoung feels his whole form shrink, drawing his arms up over himself and rubbing at his sleeves nervously. “She didn't say whose idea it is, I have no idea how serious she was. She just said it would happen.”

Jaebum nods slowly, and then turns to stare at the winding road where it climbs the hill to his house. Jinyoung knows he must be thinking about telling his parents.

“We've got to get back,” Jaebum finally says after a long moment. He reaches for him and grabs Jinyoung's hand again, Jinyoung doesn't protest, appreciating the help as he's still quite sore. 

Jaebum helps him climb the last low hill to the games room, and tugs him inside mindlessly. Jinyoung stares at their still-clutched hands as they slip into the glaringly bright room, the image of Jaebum touching him in front of others seeming more shocking than the adjustment his eyes make.

Jinyoung's campers are suddenly cheering and rushing over to him, pressing between them they can congratulate him. In the flurry of activity, he sees Youngjae across the room, staring at their hands. Jinyoung lets go.

“Hyung!” Crows Yugyeom, squeezing Jinyoung around his waist. “You did it!”

“Where _were_ you??” Taehyun wonders, tugging at his other arm.  
   
Jaebum’s form disappears into the crowds, and Jinyoung forces himself to focus on his excited campers. 

“If I tell you I won't be able to hide there again,” he says, smiling.

“We get three hundred extra points,” Seungyoon gasps.

“Wow,” Jinyoung murmurs, curling his arms around Yugyeom and Taehyun, keeping them close as his nerves flutter wildly. The games room isn't quite big enough for all the teams to gather comfortably, and so the teams are tightly packed together, the buzzing warmth of bodies making Jinyoung dizzy. 

“That's everybody!” Jackson shouts, and the kids quiet down.“I think we've all been accounted for and the points are tallied. Congrats to those who stayed hidden for the whole time - Air team’s Momo, Fire team’s Taecyeon and Jaebum, and Water team’s Jinyoung!”

“Oh, Fire team had two? Shoot,” whispers Seunghoon. Jinwoo hums nervously beside him, biting his nails.

“Spirit guides shouldn't count for as much; Wonpil got found in the first five minutes,” Chanwoo complains.

Wonpil is a few people away in their team’s huddle, but he manages to reach a long arm over and pinch Chanwoo.

“So our counselor hunt winner, with seven hundred and eighty points is the Fire team!” Jackson is announcing.

Jaebum's team is rejoicing, but Jinyoung can't spot him in the crowd. Youngjae is on the same team, and he catches Jinyoung's searching gaze. Youngjae gives him a stiff smile, and then quickly looks away, moving to congratulate Taecyeon.

Jinyoung feels guilty again, despite Mark's earlier assurances that there's no resentment there. He can't imagine being in Youngjae's place, but he understands the discomfort.

They're dismissed shortly and Jinyoung leads his campers back to the cabin. He's eager for bed but knows they'll probably still be buzzing for a while longer after such late excitement. Jinyoung silently curses Jackson’s upbeat games.

Jinyoung subtly keeps Yugyeom by his side for support, hoping the younger doesn't notice his slight limp. 

Yugyeom doesn't, but Seungyoon squints at him curiously as they crowd through the door of their cabin. Jinyoung has finally released Yugyeom’s shoulder and shifts to run a hand along the wall as he heads for his corner.

“Hyung, are you feeling okay?” Seungyoon wonders quietly, keeping out of earshot of the others as they’re changing into pajamas and squabbling.

Jinyoung manages an embarrassed smile. “Of course!” He insists, gathering his shower stuff, trying not to look too stiff.

“Did you climb a tree?” Seungyoon asks, eyes glimmering. “You look like you might have pulled something.”

“I'm _not_ telling you,” Jinyoung says, trying to sound playful and light in spite of how inappropriate the truth is. “But you're right, I think I've uh, overextended something.”

Seungyoon nods sagely. “My coach has us do these flexor stretches when we’re extra tight,” he says, kneeling and demonstrating.

Jinyoung nods, face aflame. “I'll try them after I shower,” he promises quietly, “but I think the rest of the games this week will probably keep me pretty… screwed up.”

Once Seungyoon seems satisfied he’s accepted his advice, he heads back to his own bunk.

Jinyoung finally slips into the bathroom and lets out a deep breath.

  
//

  
Mark's alarm goes off and he fumbles with his phone in the dark, thumb hastily tapping and gliding blindly in an attempt to shut it off. He turns in bed to catch a glimpse out the window, across the cabin, but it's not quite light yet. 

The air is blue grey, the cabin deathly quiet now that he's muted his phone. He sits up slowly, yawns silently, and considers.

It's the second morning now that he's optimistically set an alarm for 4:50, wondering if it feels right to go running with Jackson. Initial nerves aside, Mark knows it would seem like an outright rejection if he didn't go once. 

So he tumbles out of his blankets, sheet tangling around his ankle and nearly face-planting. Once he's maneuvered his sleepy limbs into shorts and sneakers, he brushes his teeth as quietly as possible. 

Optimistic, he thinks to himself, making sure he’s kissable regardless of his groggy face and tousled bedhead in the dark mirror.

When he makes it outside, he pauses at the sight of an absolutely still campground, bathed in hazy grey. It's eerily beautiful, peaceful and devoid of children.

The air is still cold with the lingering dark of night, and he finds it helps him wake up as he approaches the lake, cheeks stinging from the chill and stomach twisting in anticipation.

Jackson is stretching by the boat house, but he immediately stops at the sound of Mark's footsteps, head perking up and face utterly beaming as it breaks into a smile.

“Mark!” He calls, waving, and Mark can't help but chuckle. As if he needed help spotting the only other person out here.

“Hi,” he says quietly, stepping beside him and stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, unsure what to do.

“I'm glad you came,” says Jackson, and Mark thinks he's looking at the sunrise before it really happens: Jackson’s eyes shining merrily and a charming smile beaming ear to ear.

Mark feels a little out of breath before they've even started running. “Sorry I didn't come yesterday,” he says. “I set an alarm but I went right back to sleep.”

Jackson shrugs, waving a hand at him. “It's okay,” he says, “I'm used to getting up early now but it took me a while to get used to it. You ready?” 

Mark pulls his hands of his pockets awkwardly, unsure if he should stretch or do something that would make him look vaguely like he knows what he’s doing. Instead, he flops his hands in a shrug and nods.

Jackson looks like he's trying hard to hold back a laugh, but it's gentle when it escapes. He turns and starts jogging lightly instead of teasing him, and Mark is grateful, slipping into pace beside him easily.

“I usually do four laps,” says Jackson after a moment, and Mark looks out across the still, glassy expanse of the lake in surprise. It's not huge, but four laps sounds like a lot.

“We can just stop whenever though,” Jackson offers. “I like to chill out on the dock too.”

“Chilling,” Mark says, already struggling to keep his breath even, “would be nice.”

Jackson chit-chats the whole way around, and Mark tries to just focus on breathing and not looking like he's dying. He plays sports and has definitely run laps before, but he doesn't do it daily like Jackson, and he's never tried to look good or sound appealing at the same time.

Mark gets a stitch in his side halfway through the second lap. Despite his best efforts to smile it off, Jackson diverts them to the dock before attempting a third and they slow to a stroll. 

They stop and sit at the end, perched out over the still of the foggy lake and watch as the pink of dawn starts to creep over the distant crest of mountains. 

Jackson turns and smiles at him, and Mark hugs his knees to his chest, smiling back and hoping his face isn't too flushed from the run.

“Come here,” says Jackson, tugging a knee towards him, and Mark tries not to squawk with alarm at the light brush of his fingers on his skin. Jackson tugs his leg out toward him, and then is delicately plucking at his shoelaces before Mark can process the way that his body shivers in response to the contact.

Jackson takes off his shoes and socks for him, and Mark is embarrassed, hoping his toes aren't too hairy and hoping they don't smell from the run. Jackson doesn't react adversely, gently directing his knees over the edge of the dock so he can dip his feet into the lake.

Mark holds back a gasp as he anticipates the chill of the water, but it's not too bad, and it eases the hot spots on his soles. He glances aside at Jackson as he takes off his own shoes next, admiring his long eyelashes and the way his tongue wets his pink lips.

Mark thinks, absently, he probably doesn't deserve somebody as nice as Jackson. Not after all the boys he's teased, played with, thrown away. Not after having taken Youngjae for granted, after he's learned his lesson in how hearts are fragile, including his own.

But Jackson hasn't asked about his past, hasn’t even brought up kissing Youngjae, instead interested in Mark's favorite rappers and if he likes spicy food.

“JYP sunbae is coming up today to see how I'm doing as games director,” Jackson says at one point, face a little anxious.

“Are you nervous?” Mark asks.

Jackson shrugs, clearly trying to look unaffected. “I don't think he expected me to do well since I’d never been to this camp, you know?”

Mark nods, watching as Jackson spins his ankles in opposite directions. The reverberating water pushes gently against his own legs, and he enjoys the way they bob peacefully.

“He'll understand once he sees how much fun the campers are having,” Mark says. “And he had to have picked you for some reason, right? How did that happen?”

Jackson nods enthusiastically. “I'm in his dance class! Or, one of his many. He’s crazy, I have no idea how many projects he works on. He even has a little recording studio, and distributes for some artists independently. I've been asking him for ages to let me do some raps or something fun, and he finally said, okay, if you cover this beginners class for me. And then I just… kept teaching it.”

Mark looks up at him in surprise. “To kids? A real dance class?”

Jackson laughs, leaning back on his hands. “Are you impressed? Anyway, he still hasn't let me record yet. And I was bugging him about it again around the time he came down with kidney stones, right before camp.”

“That's not fair,” Mark says, scrunching his nose up. “He made you do this for him too? When will he let you record?”

“It's okay,” Jackson assures him. “I think he likes pushing me to see how much I can do. Like him. Anyway I definitely think I liked this better than teaching dance. And I think he wants to do bigger, crazier stuff up here anyway. Like a whole month of related theme camps, family camps and stuff.”

“Would the Ims let him do that?” Mark asks. “They only ever let him run the games.” 

Jackson shrugs. “He only complains about the board. He likes the Ims, they usually let him do what he wants, but it's hard to convince the board to spend more than usual.”

Mark hums in contemplation, biting his lip. The sunrise is getting a little spectacular now, the sherbet colors filling the sky and dazzling off the surface of the lake.

“Mark,” says Jackson quietly, shuffling beside him. “Yesterday I was listening to this song, right here and I thought - I thought about you and I wanted to listen to it with you.”

He’s slipped earbuds out of his pocket, and he hooks them up to his phone and slips one into Mark's closest ear. Mark leans into his side so the cords can reach both of them, and they listen together as the sun’s beams finally beat down on them.

Mark can't stop smiling, even as the track fades out, and Jackson tugs the bud out of his ear. Their faces are close now, the warmth from Jackson’s cheek making Mark's face flush even more. 

“Mark,” Jackson repeats his name a lot, and Mark has come to rely on the rhythm of his speech, as it's warm and comfortable and fills up the gaps in his own mind. Mark feels absent too often, but Jackson grounds him in the moment.

Mark casts his eyes down, looking for Jackson’s hand so he can hold it. 

“Mark, I wasn't sure,” Jackson says hesitantly, face so close that his lips brush against Mark's cheek.

“When I saw you kissing Youngjae I really wasn't sure,” Jackson continues, looking down at their joined hands. His breath is warm on Mark's lips. “Are you with him? I couldn't figure it out. You didn't say anything about it before but he looks at you really softly.”

Mark shakes his head, nose knocking against Jackson’s with the movement.

“Then can I kiss you?” Jackson asks, voice hoarse.

Mark lets his eyes lift and he finds Jackson’s gaze waiting for him. Then Mark is nodding into his kiss, soft and warm, letting their lips find each other.

  
//

  
“What is it you wanted to talk to us about, sweetheart?” 

Jaebum stares at his teacup solemnly. His mother clears her throat and nods at him, prompting him once more. The early morning light flickers in through their faded curtains, and he feels like the small table between him and his parents is suddenly very broad, a dramatic distance cut sharply by drifting sunbeams. 

“Son,” says his father. “We’ve got to go into town for chef Choi this morning, or there won't be any dumplings for dinner. What’s on your mind?”

“You usually don't come to visit during a camp,” his mother says, making a funny face. “Always talking about how you want to be fair, staying in the staff dorms and all that.”

“It's about marrying Nayeon,” says Jaebum.

His parents stiffen up, glancing at each other in alarm.

“Honey, you have plenty of time before you need to worry about that,” his mother says, attempting a comforting smile.

“She's been saying we're getting married at Christmas,” Jaebum says. “But more importantly, she's been saying we’re going to sell the camp once you retire. I just wanted to know if you guys knew anything about that.” 

His parents stare at him in shock. 

“Where did you hear this?” His father asks. “She told you herself?”

Jaebum takes a big gulp of tea, nearly scalding his tongue, and shakes his head. “She's been trying to intimidate… someone.”

Jaebum's mother squints at him curiously. “Nayeon isn't the type to brag,” she assures him. “She's always seemed very level-headed, I don't know why she would come up with something like that. Your father has had this understanding with her parents for quite a while.”

Jaebum tilts his head, staring at his teacup, setting it back down on the table and clutching it tightly. The heat of the tea seeps through the delicate china and he loosens his grip.

“Jaebum,” his father says firmly. “Who would she be trying to intimidate anyway? Maybe they've misunderstood.”

“It's my boyfriend,” says Jaebum hastily. He releases his cup, and it rattles around haphazardly before coming to a standstill. He looks up from the table, finally meeting their eyes. Jinyoung isn’t exactly his boyfriend, but he doesn’t feel the need to explain, doesn’t feel the need to mince words. This is the easiest way for them to understand. He likes boys – he likes a boy.

Jaebum's father stares blankly at him, mouth agape. His mother clears her throat and moves to gather their dishes, glancing at his father repeatedly. As she moves to stand and take their cups away, his father grips her arm and motions for her to sit again.

“Jaebum,” says his father, eyes locked on his. “What are you saying?”

“I'm saying,” Jaebum stammers, face flushing, “I'm saying Nayeon was telling my boyfriend that it doesn't matter if we're together for now, because she and I are going to get married in December and she wants us to sell the land. Because she wants to get rich.”

“Together for now?” Jaebum's mother whispers.

Jaebum huffs in frustration, rubbing his hands against his jeans. “Can you please focus on what else I'm saying?” He says. “The part about how I'm supposed to marry her to keep running camp, and how she doesn't even want to do that?”

Jaebum's father crosses his arms and fixes him with a heavy glare. “We heard that. We also heard that our oldest son suddenly thinks he's a homosexual.”

Jaebum grits his teeth, looking away.

“Jaebum,” his mother interjects, putting a hand on his father's arm. “I understand you’re probably, experimenting a bit. It's natural to want to try and get some things out of your system before settling down. But...”

“Eomma,” says Jaebum firmly, “it's not going to get out of my system.”

Jaebum's father stands up, paces away and then back, hands in his pockets. Jaebum has seen him do this before. Whenever his parents are stressed, especially when he or Youngjae have gotten in trouble. 

“We’ll talk to her parents,” his father says after another moment of pacing. “It's not necessary to move the date up so soon. And we’ll see what they have to say about her planning to sell. It could just be Nayeon getting a little more ambitious than they're aware. But as the wife, she'll have to learn to defer to you.”

Jaebum bites his lip, nervously fidgeting with his teacup again as he tries not to snap back about such old-fashioned expectations.

“Just to be clear,” his father says gruffly, coming to a stop in the middle of the room, arms crossed. “I hope your _boyfriend_ knows you're still engaged to someone else. It will be embarrassing if we find out he's making this up. Once we clear things with Nayeon’s family, everything will move forward as planned.”

Jaebum’s chest aches, feels his breath sharply rush out of his lungs. 

“He didn't make it up,” Jaebum insists. 

“You don't know that,” says his father. “I'm sure he's feeling a little emotional. Jealousy can get ugly.”

“Jinyoung wouldn't lie,” Jaebum says.

His father looks even more ruffled at the mention of a name, at the suddenly very human image he must confront. Jaebum glances up at his mother, who looks suddenly quite tired. She gathers their dishes and disappears into the kitchen.

“Everybody lies,” says his father gruffly, and stalks out of the room. Jaebum hears the door to his study slam shut down the hall.

Alone and feeling impotent, Jaebum looks around his childhood home, the cluttered living room suddenly feeling claustrophobic.

His mother comes back in and starts wiping down the table, silent and avoiding his eyes.

“ _Eomma_ ,” Jaebum says, plaintive.

“You know your father wants this deal to go through,” his mother says, scrubbing extra hard at a spot Jaebum knows has been there since he was a child. 

“He has trouble seeing beyond his one goal,” she admits. “And that's getting the camp back.”

“I don't want to marry her,” Jaebum says.

“I don't think you ever have,” she agrees. “Remember when you were twelve and we told you? And you climbed out of the attic window and sat on the roof for a day, threatening you'd run away if we didn't break the contract.”

“I came back in for dinner,” Jaebum says with a pout.

“I made fried chicken. I know how to negotiate,” she shrugs and smiles, sitting back down across from him, washcloth left in a heap. 

“I’ll talk to him,” she promises. “I haven't said much in the past, but you're right. If this doesn't leave the camp in safe hands, what’s the point?”

Jaebum perks up slightly, nodding. “Thank you,” he says earnestly.

“I can't promise anything, Jaebum,” his mother admits. “Your father has carried this grudge about losing the camp for so long. I've asked him before to let it drop. But maybe it takes something like this for him to understand that it's okay to move on. We've had a lot of good times at camp, regardless of who owns it.”

Jaebum can't restrain a hopeful smile.

His mother sighs and smiles back. “Let's get some breakfast at the hall. Choi promised a waffle bar today, right?” She says, popping up from the table with seemingly renewed energy.

Jaebum nods and takes her offered hand, and they head out the door and down the hill. 

“Eomma,” Jaebum says once they arrive, climbing the stairs to the main entrance. “Are you disappointed with me?”

His mother pauses, a few steps above him so she stands eye to eye with him. “Jaebum-ah,” she says softly, putting her hand on his head. “You've never disappointed me. Not once.”

Jaebum ducks his head and tries to hide a pleased smile and pink cheeks. 

“I admit I was surprised,” his mother continues, as they reach the top and drift toward the tantalizing scent of fresh waffles.

“I've seen you around a lot of girls,” she says quietly, and she scans the busy hall conspicuously. “So now I'm curious, who could–!”

“Why, it’s the beautiful Mrs. Im!” A voice cries out, and Jaebum is alarmed by JYP’s sudden appearance, taking his mother by the hand and spinning the startled woman in a circle.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, bewildered. “I thought you had kidney stones?”

“I’m fine now,” JYP says, wrapping an arm around Jaebum next and patting him enthusiastically on the back. “Lots of green tea, that’s the secret.”

“Only organic,” says a voice beside him, and Jackson has joined them at the front of the hall, wearing an officious looking WANG hat and carrying a clipboard. Jaebum has never seen him look this serious, and he bites his lips together to keep from teasing him.

“Only organic,” JYP echoes, nodding solemnly. “He’s right. How is little Jackson doing? I’ve come up to check on his progress.”

“Little Jackson,” Jaebum repeats, low enough to avoid his mother and JYP, but leaning right into Jackson’s ear. Jackson elbows him away and keeps a composed face.

“I haven’t heard any complaints,” Jaebum’s mother is saying with a shrug. “The kids are having a blast. And he’s much better looking than our last games director,” she adds with a wink at Jackson. 

JYP makes a face. “Park Jinyoung?” He asks. “I’ve heard he’s actually very handsome this year.”

Jaebum’s mother laughs, and Jaebum tilts his head a bit at the use of JYP’s full name, constantly forgetting it’s the same as Jinyoung’s.

“I don’t know how he did it,” JYP says, gesturing behind him at the tables of campers. “It’s like he de-aged twenty years.” 

Jaebum’s breath hitches.

“What is this crazy man talking about?” Jaebum’s mother chuckles, and then JYP is dragging her through the tables, straight toward the one marked with a merry little #8 flag.  Jaebum watches them go, frozen where he stands with Jackson.

JYP slings an arm around a completely astounded Jinyoung, tugging him out of his seat, knocking their cheeks together and pointing at his name badge for Jaebum’s mother to see.

“See, Mrs. Im! This is the latest beauty treatment: they just replace you entirely with a younger version.” JYP crows.  
Jaebum’s mother was smiling, and then Jaebum can pinpoint the exact moment she realizes – the moment when she remembers their earlier conversation, when Jaebum said _Jinyoung wouldn’t lie,_ when Jaebum said _it’s my boyfriend_. Her smile flickers strangely as she takes in the image of the young man before her and pieces it all together.

To Jinyoung’s credit, he seems composed, bowing shortly and greeting her politely. The panic in his eyes is tucked carefully away, and Jaebum isn’t certain he would notice from across the room if he wasn’t staring directly at them in alarm. In the next moment, both Jinyoung and his mother glance up and look back at Jaebum, and their movement and expression is so effortlessly synchronized Jaebum wonders if he’s passed out and this is a hallucination.

“Very handsome,” Mrs. Im turns back to JYP, and Jinyoung’s eyes whisker up with a bashful smile. “Better than the original,” she says, poking JYP in the side.

“Of course, of course,” JYP says, laughing. “Jackson mentioned someone with my name and I just had to make sure he was handsome. It’s good I didn’t have to kick you out for disgracing us,” he says to Jinyoung, and Jinyoung looks torn between amusement and horror. “Remind me before I leave, I have a hat for you!”

And then he sweeps Mrs. Im away and drags her back to the front and into the line for waffles. In passing, she looks at Jaebum with the slightest question in her expression. Jaebum nods very slightly, swallowing the lump in his throat, and she presses her lips together and gives him a tight smile. Then she’s focused on loading her plate, and Jaebum looks across the dining hall.

Jinyoung is settling back down at his table, but his eyes find Jaebum’s immediately. Jaebum smiles apologetically. Jinyoung surprises him with a laugh, and then seem embarrassed by it, turning back to his campers.

For the first time this week, Jaebum feels hopeful. 


	9. witless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers. Sorry this is going up a little later than usual, work has been stressing me out and everybody keeps having birthday parties I gotta go to? Anyway also for some reason this chapter was kind of difficult to finish out - I kept writing individual pieces and having trouble linking them together. I hope it doesn’t read too choppy and I’m sorry if it does!!
> 
> Also a quick note about Nayeon’s family - I totally blanked and didn't realize she was also an Im irl... I thought that would end up being a little confusing w both of their parents being sets of Ims so I went with Oh instead.

 

 

  
“Thursday is always a lake day, which means we always get sunburned, or some kind of rash from the plants, or someone passes out from the heat,” BamBam is rattling off, as the entire crowd of campers makes their way down to the lake.

Mark and Jinyoung's kids amble along together, now more of an extended family than separate cabins. Chanwoo chases along after Hanbin and Bobby, Minho and Seungyoon flank Taehyun as they argue about favorite musicians, and BamBam shares a little umbrella with Yugyeom. 

They're holding hands and bumping elbows, and Jinyoung winces every time BamBam accidentally knocks the parasol’s spokes into Yugyeom’s face as he strains to cover the taller boy's frame.

“Just let me carry it,” Yugyeom is saying, and BamBam frowns but passes it off anyway.

“But now we can't hold hands,” BamBam whines, as Yugyeom tucks the handle behind and between them, easily shading them both. Yugyeom reaches across himself to grab his hand and BamBam grumbles. Yugyeom then spins himself around and walks backwards beside him, laughing all the while. 

BamBam makes a show of rolling his eyes so everyone can see, but Jinyoung spies his ears turning pink.

“Why do you need to hold hands?” Jinwoo asks, eying them curiously.

“We don't need to,” BamBam mumbles, yanking away and speeding up.

Yugyeom waves after him, spinning the umbrella on his shoulder. “I thought you wanted to practice,” he sing-songs, and Mark and Jinyoung make surprised faces at each other.

“Practice?” Jinyoung echoes in a low voice, moving alongside Yugyeom.

BamBam shushes him, rushing back to snatch the umbrella, and then scurries forward again to catch up with Jimin’s group ahead.

Yugyeom has the sense to wait for the other campers to spread out and pick up other conversations again before nudging into Jinyoung conspiratorially. Mark snoops around from his other side, equally curious.

“He said he wants to practice having a boyfriend,” Yugyeom whispers, eyes glimmering in amusement.

Jinyoung’s eyes go wide and Mark outright laughs. Jinyoung shoots him a disapproving look. “But Yugyeom,” he says, concerned. “That’s not really fair to you. How do you feel about that?”

Yugyeom blinks at him in surprise. “Why isn’t it fair?” He asks.

“I mean,” Jinyoung stammers. “It doesn’t hurt your feelings at all? That it’s just practice? A pretend relationship is… kind of one-sided, right?”

Yugyeom smiles, looking a little embarrassed finally. “Hyung,” he says softly, looking ahead and smiling at the sight of the little spinning parasol. “I think it’s good practice for me, too.”

Jinyoung shoots an anxious expression at Mark, who’s watching Yugyeom closely.

“Practice makes perfect,” Yugyeom continues, more quietly. “I want to be the best when I'm BamBam’s _real_ boyfriend.”

Mark gasps and shakes the younger boy by his arm, until Yugyeom squawks and pushes away, hiding behind Jinyoung. Jinyoung gapes at him in surprise, and then covers his face with his hands in second-hand embarrassment. 

“The cheesiest,” Mark is laughing loudly now.

“I can't give my blessing,” Jinyoung says, poking Yugyeom's cheek. “You're too young to date.”

Yugyeom nods solemnly but is clearly holding back a smile.

The teams gather along the shore, as Jackson instructs them in the first few rounds of boat races. After only a few hours, everyone seems like they've had enough lake water in their shoes for a lifetime, and dozens of kids are already hot pink with sunburn like BamBam predicted.

Midday, kitchen staff drives out with bagged lunches and the teams spread out further, seeking the spots further up the banks where trees and boulders offer some shady respite from the summer sun.

Jinyoung and Mark's cabins mainly stick with their teammates and they sprawl out on the grass and atop rocks for their lazy picnic.

Jackson and the spirit guides wander through and hand out extra drinks, sunscreen and towels.

Jaebum happens to visit the Water team last, handing out the last pouches of juice and then hovering beside Mark and Jinyoung. He looks like he has something to say, but stays silent, watching the campers haggle for their preferred flavors of juice. 

Mark clears his throat and shoots an eyeroll at both Jinyoung and Jaebum, shaking his head and making it clear he’s annoyed as he leaves them alone.

They’re quiet, still a little uncomfortable as they both seem to be reliving the morning’s events in the dining hall.

“Sorry JYP sunbae made you meet my mom like that,” says Jaebum finally.

Jinyoung doesn’t respond for a moment, feels his ears flush. “It’s fine,” he offers. “I guess it was pretty likely to happen, I’ve seen her around helping with meals or setup a few times. It’s not like she knows about… anything.”

“Uh,” says Jaebum, turning and staring off at the lake in the distance.

Jinyoung slides his eyes to the side to inspect his profile suspiciously. He follows the line of Jaebum’s sharp cheekbones to the slightest bump in his nose, sees his Adam’s apple bob heavily as he clears his throat.

“She does know, a little bit,” says Jaebum.

Jinyoung turns to face him, feels his stomach twist like it’s doing gymnastics in his belly. Jaebum’s mother _knows a little bit_? “What,” Jinyoung states, voice flat, not lifting it in question.

“I told my parents you were my boyfriend,” Jaebum mentions, and Jinyoung turns to stare at him in shock.

“You _what_?” He echoes, feeling his face go numb. He grips the boulder between them, thinking dizzily he might pass out.

Jaebum nods slowly, peeling a straw off the last pouch of juice and sticking it before offering it to Jinyoung. Jinyoung stares at the drink, eyes tracing the script on the front as he struggles to understand.

“You came out?” Jinyoung asks, voice soft as he accepts the pouch and sips at it nervously. He's grateful to have something to squeeze.

“I guess,” Jaebum says, looking embarrassed. “Look, I didn't know how to explain, and then I didn't know how to explain _us_ so I just — if you don't think that's us, I don't want you to feel pressured or whatever.”

 _If you don't think that’s us_ , Jinyoung considers his words carefully, pausing with the straw still in his mouth, cheeks hollowed.

Jinyoung can feel Jaebum's gaze on him, and he peeks up through his lashes, sees eyes fixed dreamily on the sight of his pursed lips.

Jinyoung blushes and slips his mouth off of the flimsy straw. He dabs his lips with the back of his hand and looks away to the lake, silent for a moment.

“Jaebum,” he says quietly, watching the sunlight bouncing merrily on the water. “Do you even _want_ that?” He asks, wanting to be clear. “Would you want to _be_ …” and he loses his words as he looks back up to catch his eyes.

“Yeah,” Jaebum says quickly, and then blushes and shrugs his shoulders up in an attempt to play it off. “Sure,” he says this time, staring off into the distance again. “If you do.”

Jinyoung licks his lips, still a little overwhelmed as he savors some lingering sweetness from the juice. Is this what he meant in the chapel? More of them _together_? “I'm not sure…” Jinyoung hums, and Jaebum’s face goes grim, snapping back to squint at him.

Jinyoung can't help but laugh a little, covering his mouth to hide it. It's not fair to tease during a moment like this, but it’s in Jinyoung’s nature to be difficult. “I’d like it,” he says hastily. “I’d like that too. But I can’t come off too eager. I’m a catch, you know?” 

Jaebum glares a little, and Jinyoung has to suppress another giggle. “It's kind of fast,” he continues. “I mean we haven't even gone on a date or anything,” he whines.

Jaebum nods slowly, but his glare is softer, and he looks like he's struggling to hide a matching pleased smile. They're quiet for a moment, eyes glimmering at each other in challenge.

“I'll take you out after camp ends, this weekend,” Jaebum says. “ _Then_ you'll be my boyfriend?”

Jinyoung hums, and then nods. “That sounds fair. Depending on how the date goes, I guess.”

Jaebum shakes his head, making an annoyed face but glowing a little still. Jinyoung watches him with nakedly desperate eyes, takes in every detail of his skin and face in the dappled daylight as it filters through the trees. He tries to commit this image to memory, eyes retracing every strand of hair in its place. This is Im Jaebum, who wants to be his _boyfriend_ , and it's the best summer of Jinyoung’s life so far.

“Yah,” Jinyoung says suddenly, a shiver running through him as he watches a bead of sweat trickle down Jaebum's neck. He's feeling suddenly restless, like his fingers might twitch with the need to touch him. “Can you take a break? Is there maybe anything you need to do in the boat house...?”

Jaebum frowns at him for a moment in confusion, and then with a few blinks and a nervous ruffle of his hair, he's blushing and nodding.

“Let me tell Shownu to keep an eye on the lake?” Jaebum says, standing up and voice creaking a little. 

Jinyoung grins up at him, looking around at the shifting crowds and hoping it won't be too difficult to sneak away. “I'll ask Mark to watch my kids,” he agrees, and heads back over to them.

Mark is already shaking his head when Jinyoung leans onto his shoulder.

“Just for a few minutes. Please,” Jinyoung whispers.

“Please don’t be dumb, okay?” Mark groans, turning away from their campers. “Where do you even think you can go? Don’t tell me you're just going to go bonk in the woods. Campers are crawling around everywhere.”

“The _woods_?” Jinyoung repeats with a frown. “What are we going to do, make a little pine needle nest? Are we just a couple of animals to you?”

Mark shrugs and doesn't disagree.

“The door to the boat house locks,” Jinyoung says quietly, and they both glance at the worn structure farther down the beach. 

“That dilapidated little shack?” Mark gasps, hiding a laugh behind his palm. “You're wilder than I thought, Park Jinyoung. Truly a changed man.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes before squinting at him playfully. “I am,” he says, “and I also have been asked on a _date_ ,” he sings the word, teasingly backing away from Mark as his jaw drops and his eyes bug out.

“What the _fuck_ , Jinyoung?” Mark sputters, but Jinyoung laughs and hurries away, speeding up as he heads down the beach.

  
//

  
A few breathless minutes later, Jaebum and Jinyoung are alone again. Jinyoung is pressing Jaebum up against a wall in the boat house, cradling his face in his hands as they kiss. Something has shifted between them, evolved. 

Jinyoung feels energized by Jaebum’s willingness to call him his boyfriend. The insecurities he’s carried with him throughout the week have melted away into something molten. The frantic desire to make Jaebum feel good takes priority, so he kisses him sloppily and jams his hand down the front of his shorts.

Jaebum makes a distressed noise as Jinyoung’s hand wraps around him. He yanks his hips back, overwhelmed by the immediate attention, but as Jinyoung continues to suck his tongue out of his mouth in a promising manner, he lets himself relax forward again. Jinyoung pumps him gently, and the even warmth of his hand works him to full hardness in a moment. 

Jinyoung releases him and trails his fingers up along the length of Jaebum’s throbbing arousal when it feels ready, drawing out of his shorts so his hand can curl into the elastic waistband. He draws back from their kiss, lips shining with spit, and Jaebum is staring at them like he was earlier.

Jinyoung rolls them together and then releases them with a soft smack. In the next instant he’s smiling coyly and he sinks to his knees, dragging Jaebum’s shorts down with him.

Jaebum’s cock bobs before Jinyoung’s face as it’s released, girthy and swollen red with arousal. Jinyoung outright stares at it, mouth watering with want. He reaches out and grabs Jaebum’s hips, tugging him forward so he can taste. 

Jinyoung grips the base gently and licks the tip, flicking along the ridge of his cut head, like he’s a delicate dessert. Jaebum groans and rocks forward, trying to push his hips into Jinyoung’s face. 

Jinyoung hums disapprovingly, curling his fingernails into Jaebum’s thighs and steadying him. He’s determined to tease. Jinyoung moves down his length, mouth shut, dragging just his plush lips along the swollen shaft, darting his tongue out sporadically to trace veins and get it wet.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum growls, and his leg twitches under Jinyoung’s hand. Jinyoung has mercy on him, sliding a flat, moist tongue back up the underside to the tip before sinking the entire warmth of his mouth down on Jaebum’s cock. He swallows around him, hollowing his cheeks out.

Jaebum lets out a broken noise, and Jinyoung slurps back off. He waits for the air to cool against Jaebum’s wet skin, and Jaebum whines. 

Jinyoung engulfs him once more, and he moves slowly, bobbing down and up, suction unbearable, before pulling entirely off again and waiting for Jaebum’s begging. 

He repeats this twice, but when he withdraws with with a loud pop for the third time, Jaebum grabs him by the hair and yanks him back to it. His dick nudges against Jinyoung's face, smearing a trail of stickiness from his lips up his cheek. Jinyoung closes his eyes and nuzzles against it, only to have Jaebum's grip in his hair tighten again.

He looks up again to find Jaebum’s eyes are watering. “Did you bring us here to torture me?” he growls.

Jinyoung raises his eyebrows, impressed by how quickly Jaebum’s coming undone. He reaches out to squeeze Jaebum's damp dick, which visibly pulses in his grip and spills precum down over his hand. Jinyoung watches the rivulets trickle down his wrist with glazed, wanton eyes and Jaebum makes a noise that’s almost one of pain, overly-sensitive, and he jerks his hips away. 

“Don't,” he begs, “I won't last.”

“Would cumming be torture?” Jinyoung wonders, voice hoarse as he looks up.

“ _Please_ ,” Jaebum croaks out the word Jinyoung has been waiting for.

So Jinyoung slides his lips down over the head of his cock again, swirling his tongue around the tip, more saliva escaping the motion and coating his swollen lips. He looks up beneath his lashes at Jaebum, face crumpled up and eyes locked on his. Jaebum lets out a vulnerable sound, petting through Jinyoung's hair encouragingly.

Jinyoung slurps the rest of him into his mouth, tightening the wet ring of his lips but relaxing his throat and letting the entire length slide through. 

Jaebum thrusts forward, and Jinyoung tries not to gag, struggling as his cock knocks against the back of his throat. Jaebum cries out as the sensitive skin of his head brushes against moist, flexing flesh as Jinyoung swallows. 

The slick that builds up as Jinyoung keeps his mouth ajar helps make the slide easier. It's so wet, the sound of it embarrassingly erotic. Jaebum is soon fully fucking his mouth, hips snapping to meet his face, hands clutched around his skull to keep it in place.

Jinyoung takes it, closing his eyes and trying to keep his focus on breathing through his nose. He lets his jaw relax, digs his fingers into Jaebum's thighs as he thrusts.

Jaebum’s fingers slip and scramble around the back of his head, and Jinyoung feels his rhythm start to lapse. Jinyoung slides his hands around Jaebum’s hips and takes more control again, head bobbing evenly to meet his stuttering thrusts and finish him off. In the final strokes, he focuses more on the sensitive tip, tongue lapping at the slit, tightly pursed lips slipping on and off the crown. 

Jaebum gasps, foot thumping in a spasm as he comes, and his whole body tenses under Jinyoung’s ministrations. Jinyoung moves to seal his mouth back down over the head as some of the first spurts of semen dribble down his chin.

He deliberately continues to suck gently around the softening length even once it's stopped leaking, and Jaebum has to stumble a step back to escape the overwhelming sensation.

Jaebum flops back against the wall, chest heaving. He watches helplessly as Jinyoung delicately swipes a finger over the mess on his chin and suckles it off his finger until it it’s clean. 

Jaebum makes a little noise and Jinyoung stands up and moves to fit himself against his sagging form, tucking him carefully back into his shorts as he kisses his lips. 

Jaebum meets his mouth willingly, doesn't shy away from the lingering bitterness of himself. Jinyoung sighs into it, and then draws his head back to look fondly at Jaebum’s relaxed expression.

“H-how did I wait so long for that?” Jaebum wonders, eyes glazed over. “Why haven't I begged for this mouth…?” He runs his thumb over the curl of Jinyoung's pout.

Jinyoung kisses his thumb and smiles, a little smug, like a cat who's caught and devoured its prey. His eyes darken then, blinking down at where their hips connect, and Jaebum smiles at the instinctive glance. He rewards it by pressing himself forward, undulating against Jinyoung’s own erection. 

“What do you need?” Jaebum asks. “How do you want it?”

Jinyoung flushes, and looks away for a moment. “We don't have a lot of time,” he reminds him. “Just touch me, please.”

Jaebum nods, vaguely remembering where they are, and reaches down to palm at him over his swim trunks. 

Jinyoung bites his lip, and Jaebum watches as the teeth scrape against the pink flesh, dragging trails of white before puffing back up, vibrant and pouty again. Jaebum suddenly aches for Jinyoung, brushing his nose against his and kissing the corner of his mouth. He turns them both and gestures to a canoe left out of the rack, filled with extra life vests.

“Lay back,” he instructs, and Jinyoung glances behind him before awkwardly tipping himself into the boat on the floor. Jaebum follows on his knees, making quick work of untying the knot in Jinyoung's swimsuit laces.

He drags the shorts down his hips, under his knees, and nudges his thighs apart. Jaebum buries his face in Jinyoung’s lap, sliding down over his cock in its entirety. 

He doesn't tease with lips and kitten licks, he just closes his eyes and swallows it down. Jinyoung’s head rolls back against the soft foam of the life vests, stares up at the ceiling of the little shack in a daze.

Jinyoung doesn't take long to work up, and he’s soon voicing his excitement in little bursts of profanity. Jaebum thinks it might be too loud and reaches an arm up to dip two fingers into his mouth, and Jinyoung sucks desperately at them to muffle himself.

Jinyoung bucks up into the hot suction of Jaebum’s mouth, a hand around the nape of his neck. He thrusts slower and deeper, back bowing up as Jaebum keeps the pressure steady and even.

Shortly, Jinyoung comes, unfurling like a ribbon as he loosens his grip on Jaebum, back relaxing from its arch. Jaebum’s fingers slide, spit-slick and bitten, out of his mouth with a sigh. 

Jaebum swallows with a smile, sitting up and helping Jinyoung tug his shorts back up over his bottom. He pats his thigh cheerfully, helps him sit up between his own knees, and they gaze at each other.

Jinyoung lets a slow breath, the sunlight in the dusty building going all golden and hazy once again. 

“You should probably head out first,” Jaebum advises when they gather at the door a moment later, and then kisses his cheek hastily, as if suddenly remembering he meant to. 

Jinyoung looks across at Jaebum warmly, content with how their height is so similar they can stare straight into each other's eyes without tiptoeing, without feeling smaller or bigger. Just two boys, equally lost in each other's gaze.

“Bye,” says Jinyoung with a flustered, whiskering smile. 

“See you,” Jaebum says, running a hand down his arm and squeezing his wrist.

It feels awkward, but not incurably so. It feels like they’re still in the beginning of something new, even as Jinyoung unlatches the door and slips out quickly, avoiding eye contact with people milling about the beach. He heads absentmindedly back to his campers, still lazing about in the shade, and he can't quite come back down to earth yet.

  
//

  
After all day at the lake, bagged lunches and intense canoe races, everyone seems exhausted. Still, the campers are eager for lowkey activities during their reduced free time, since only one more full day of camp is left. 

Jinyoung convinces a few of them to join him at the Crafting Corner, during his assigned duty. The shaded picnic tables outside appeal to the boys, and they load up on crafts and frozen lemonades. They sprawl across two of the tables with various leather crafts and pine derby car kits.

Byungjae, the staffer in charge of woodworking, skeptically advises their car carving.

“Can I just screw a whole other pine block on the front??” BamBam is asking him. “It'll weigh it down more right?”

Byungjae glances at Jinyoung as he tries not to smile at the ridiculous image BamBam presents, holding up a bulky cross shape next to the wheels.

“You physically _can_ ,” says Byungjae. 

“Will that really speed it up?” Seunghoon wonders from beside Jinyoung.

“Not really,” says Byungjae. “Also it'll probably get stuck in our ramp. But sure, do whatever you want.” He hands BamBam a drill.

BamBam frowns at it and glances at Minho, who is skillfully carving out a familiar shape of a roadster. “Minho, will you make mine too?” He whines, dropping his two blocks next to the other boy’s elbow.

“You gotta wait,” snaps Bobby, who’s tipping dangerously back in his folding chair across from them, feet kicked up on the table as he slurps at his lemonade. “He's working on mine next.”

“BamBam,” says Yugyeom gently, sanding his simply angled model. “I can help.”

BamBam looks at him softly, biting his lip in consideration and then nods, shifting his blocks over to Yugyeom’s space. "I can paint yours," he offers, and Yugyeom nods.

Jinyoung feels warm and content, surrounded by their familiar noises and enjoying the soft breeze that winds through the trees. He’s glad to be done with canoes for the week. 

The lake games had been intensely competitive, Jackson announcing before they were dismissed that the Fire and Water teams had pulled into the overall lead as a result and were only a few hundred points apart. 

Jinyoung’s campers seem to find the competition extremely important, so Jinyoung does his best to take it seriously. Under the surface, he remains preoccupied with the twists in his developing relationship with Jaebum. The word _boyfriend_ , the way Jaebum’s eyes arch when he smiles, the way his mother had tensely nodded at him when they’d met. 

Jinyoung wishes he had known at the time that she knew he was with Jaebum; he wishes he’d said or done something more impressive, but even now he can’t think of what a more appropriate greeting would have been.

In the back of his mind, he knows a polite nod from Jaebum’s mother isn’t a promise of anything, and neither is Jaebum announcing to his parents he has a boyfriend. Jinyoung knows it’s not likely his parents will take it very seriously, knows they’re even less likely to reconsider the marriage arrangement as a result. 

Jaebum hadn’t gone into detail about their conversation, but Jinyoung assumes the deal was discussed since it was prompted by his sharing Nayeon’s intents to sell. This is his only hope, his only bargaining chip in the situation. It’s a slim chance, he thinks, but it’s something.

Jinyoung smiles to himself, tying off another braided leather bracelet. It matches the one he made himself at the beginning of the week, and he intends to give it to Jaebum. Even if this relationship is short-lived, Jinyoung wants to enjoy the highlights while he can.

“Oh, I think they’re setting up an outdoor dinner,” Bambam is saying, straining his neck as they stare across to the pool, where Amber is directing Wonpil and Jackson as they string lights across the caged area. Jaebum stands beside her, laughing as Jackson wobbles where he’s climbed up the chainlink fence. Wonpil’s hands are on Jackson's rump to help support his balance and Wonpil is clearly complaining.

“Sometimes they do a luau theme if it’s at the pool,” BamBam says. “Last year they served Kalua pork.” A few of the boys groan in appreciation.

Jinyoung watches Jaebum, enchanted by how carefree his laughing smile looks. He squeezes the bracelet in his hand, and slips it carefully into his pocket.

  
//

  
Jinyoung and his cabin arrive at the pool for dinner in their most festive gear, in swim trunks and tank tops. Seunghoon and Seungyoon have made matching grass skirts out of toilet paper. Jinyoung is pleased to remember he happened to pack his favorite red Hawaiian shirt. 

They’re greeted at the gate by Jackson, who’s wearing a coconut bra over his shirt and gives each of them a different fake floral lei to wear. 

“ _Aloha_ ,” he says, “enjoy your feast but please remember pool rules still apply. Anyone caught running will be sacrificed to the volcano gods.” He gestures behind him to where they’ve decorated the waterslide to look a little like a volcano. 

Jinyoung’s campers screech with amusement, scuttling off to get in line for the buffet. He loses sight of them quickly, as the pool area is a tight fit for all of the cabins, so the crowd is bustling and busy. Groups that are already eating spill out of the enclosure and relax on nearby benches and boulders with their plates.

The aroma of pork wafts throughout the area and Jinyoung follows his nose in the direction his campers disappeared. He drifts away from his path at the sight of a multi-tiered punch fountain, decorated with heaps of tropical fruit.

“So fancy,” he murmurs to himself with a slight chuckle, and he’s about to select a cup when someone squeezes his elbow.

It’s Taeyeon, holding her little son Seokjin, and Jinyoung’s heart leaps into his throat. She’s smiling at him and doesn’t appear to be there to murder him on behalf of her sister, so Jinyoung attempts a polite greeting.

“Oh hello,” Jinyoung says, reaching out to squeeze Seokjin’s chubby foot. 

“I heard we're here because of you,” Taeyeon purrs mischievously.

Jinyoung blanches. “W-what?” He asks, heart plummeting.

“Someone's parents called ours,” she explains, jiggling her infant, “because somebody's boyfriend found out about mom and Nayeon’s master plan, hmm?”

Jinyoung tries to smile but can't find it within himself. Taeyeon just laughs, shaking Seokjin’s tiny fist at him. “Don't look so nervous,” she says. “I’m pretty sure Nayeon’s in trouble, not you.” She pauses, looking thoughtful.

“Honestly, I hope you understand how much she doesn’t want this arrangement either,” she says, and her voice is softer now. “She talks about how she wants to get rich. But I think what she really wants is to feel like she's in control of _something_. To know that she has some kind of a voice. We haven't really been given a lot of options either.”

Jinyoung nods, lips clamped tight. He's known this peripherally, has always tried to temper his opinion of Nayeon with the understanding that she's from a different world. 

The pity he's felt throughout it all for Jaebum could have been applied to Nayeon as well. But even in hindsight, it doesn't soothe the sting from her attitude, doesn't lift the weight of the future hanging over them all.

“I hope she didn't say anything too mean to you,” Taeyeon adds. 

Jinyoung shakes his head, easing out a little bit of a smile. “She was just… dismissive. She sounded like she had it all figured out.”

Taeyeon laughs loudly, and Seokjin shifts in her arms, looking mildly alarmed at the outburst. “No offense,” she says with a smile. “But what seventeen year old has everything figured out?”

Jinyoung nods slowly, eyes downcast as he's reminded of his own doubts. 

“ _This_ is him?” A sharp voice says, and Jinyoung looks up to find an older woman beside Taeyeon.

“Eomma,” says Taeyeon uncomfortably, “let’s head back up to the hall. I think Seokjin could use a diaper change.”

“You're the boytoy, hmm?” Taeyeon’s mother sneers. “Think your summer fling is worth upending somebody’s business? Their investments? Their family’s livelihood?”

Jinyoung feels all the blood in his body rush to his face, embarrassed at how loudly she's talking. He peeks around them and hopes none of the campers milling about have overheard. 

He doesn't say anything, unsure whether she really expects a response.

“You think he's in love with you? You think he's going to turn his back on his family's wishes just to keep _sticking_ some _slut_?” She continues, voice rising, and Taeyeon visibly winces, tugging at her mother’s sleeve desperately.

Jinyoung refuses to meet her gaze, staring numbly at the floor and blinking against the sudden sting of tears that rush to his eyes. He wishes he hadn’t already imagined these words himself a dozen times, wishes they didn’t sound so familiar and true.

“ _Oh_ my god! It's Mrs. Oh!” JYP is crowing, Jackson beside him. Jackson looks concerned, immediately wrapping an arm around Jinyoung and tugging him close. Jinyoung is startled, surprised by the tenderness from merely an acquaintance but grateful for the physical support. He clutches into the back of Jackson's shirt, keeping his eyes low.

Taeyeon’s mother seems even more disgruntled by their  interruption. “Park,” she says, straightening up. “Didn't your kidneys explode?”

“Oh my, nothing like that. I was just out of commission for a bit but I'm really pleased with how great Jackson's been doing. I might retire after all.” JYP says, cheerfully. “Actually it's good timing you folks have come up; I've been meaning to discuss something with you and Mr. Oh.”

“Hey, Jinyoung, could you help me grab some more beach balls?” Jackson suggests cheerfully, and turns him away from the conversation. They shuffle toward the back gate, behind the bathrooms, where it's a little quieter.

“Are you okay?” Jackson asks, eyes shining with worry. “I heard her saying some nasty stuff so I panicked and grabbed JYP.”

Jinyoung nods shakily, swallowing the lump in his throat and trying to breathe steadily. 

Mark and Youngjae both appear then, looking concerned. “What's going on?” Mark asks, handing a cup of water to Jinyoung. He hastily gulps it down, flopping back against the chainlink fence, eager to focus on anything else.

“That crabby old lady was calling him… names and stuff.” Jackson mutters. “What was she even talking about?”

“It's private,” Mark says quickly. He and Youngjae both glance at Jinyoung as if to ask permission, and he shrugs. 

“It’s about Jaebum,” Youngjae finally says to Jackson. “He’s arranged to marry their daughter, but I guess they found out he's, um. Been with Jinyoung.”

Jackson blinks in surprise, glancing across the crowd to where Jaebum stands in a corner, discussing something with his parents and another older man. Jinyoung wonders if that’s Nayeon’s father. Jinyoung feels the blood churn in his ears as he desperately tries to make out what they could be talking about, but it’s too far and crowded to decipher any conversation.

“Well,” Jackson huffs, turning back. “It's not like they're married already. There's no reason to talk to somebody like that.” 

Jinyoung squeezes his empty cup anxiously.

“That's pretty romantic though,” Jackson suddenly bursts, leaning against the fence and beaming at Jinyoung. “Star-crossed summer lovers, wow! Camp Wilder’s got it all. I’m coming back every year.”

Mark grins, and even Youngjae snorts at his enthusiasm, and Jinyoung feels intensely grateful for this corner of people, and their soft smiles.

“Jackson!!” A voice booms, and it’s Amber on the bullhorn. Wonpil is standing behind the water slide, waving around a bubble machine and chanting in monotone. “The volcano gods are angered!! They require a sacrifice!” 

The campers are cheering and pressing in, gathering around inside and outside the pool area to watch the low budget production.

“Who should it be?” Jackson shouts, rushing throughout the crowd and grabbing various campers as options.

“They’ll only accept… a beautiful innocent maiden!” Amber crows, and Jackson gasps as the campers point at him, and he squeezes his coconut bra in mock horror and rushes around in a panic. 

Jinyoung covers his face and sags against the fence in second hand embarrassment, Mark’s laughter sounding like a hyena beside him.

“Two hundred points to the team that gets the maiden into the volcano!” Amber announces, and the campers swarm Jackson like hungry predators. Somehow, a few boys from Mark’s cabin manhandle him up the ladder and down the waterslide. Wonpil dumps a bunch of orange confetti into the pool with him, and the campers cheer raucously.

“They’re cheering for human sacrifice,” Jinyoung moans through his fingers, laughing anyway.

“They’re all wild animals, remember. It’s just the way of nature,” Mark teases, elbowing him and watching Jackson paddle about with a fond smile.

But then Jinyoung's laughter fades out. He can’t help but notice Jaebum and his parents in the corner, as Mrs. Oh and Taeyeon join them with Nayeon in tow. The whole group leaves the pool area, JYP still enthusiastically gesticulating as he trails with them up the road toward the Im’s house. At one point, Mr. Oh turns and says something sternly to Nayeon and Taeyeon, and the two girls stop and watch as the others continue on.

Jinyoung frowns at this, wondering why Jaebum is being roped into some meeting but Nayeon isn’t, and he remembers what Taeyeon said about their choices. The girls turn and glance back at the pool. Nayeon’s eyes catch his, and Jinyoung turns his face away, feeling flushed and guilty all over again.


	10. without saying goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! This chapter was a little glum to write. But I know you can tell this still isn't over yet.
> 
> I hope nobody is paying too much attention to how little I actually know about business. The whole camp board and shares thing is a little vague, I know. I hope it's still a compelling enough idea. That's all we can hope for in a story anyway, right?

 

Friday dawns without an answer to Jinyoung's many questions. Even as his kids bumble throughout the day like they're made of pure sunshine, Jinyoung feels cloudy.

At breakfast, Jinyoung glances around more than usual, the din of campers’ voices feeling muffled as he peers across the hall in hopes of seeing anyone from last night's meeting. 

But Jaebum doesn't pass through to the staff dining room, and Mrs. Im isn't helping in the kitchen. JYP seems to have vanished as quickly as he'd appeared, and Nayeon, Taeyeon and the terrifying Mrs. Oh don't make any appearances either.

Jinyoung is thankful he's not being berated again, but he wishes he could speak to anyone with a clue about what they could have discussed in the big house up the hill. 

As it stands, Jinyoung feels like he's brand new to camp again; wide eyes taking in the beautiful sights with a bizarre sense of disconnect, like a stranger passing through.

During morning games, Jackson flirts with Mark, who doesn't hide his pleased smile. Jinyoung sits beside them and tries not to be envious, watching but not commenting as Jackson's hands squeeze all over Mark's knees. _He really is twelve_ , Jinyoung thinks to himself, but Mark is glowing, so Jinyoung keeps his mouth shut.

Later, once Jackson has hurried away, Mark nudges him. “We kissed at the lake,” he says. “Yesterday. After we went for a run, early in the morning.”

Jinyoung blinks in surprise. “I didn't think you'd gotten that far,” he says.

“It's not far!” Mark protests. “For _me_? Remember Jimin and I—,”

“Please.” Jinyoung puts his hand up to stop him. “I _remember_ ,” he says. “Vividly.”

“Anyway,” says Mark, smile huge and toothy still. “What was it you were saying yesterday, about a date?”

Jinyoung's stomach plummets at the mention. He frowns, unsure why the idea suddenly seems foolish, unsure why his daydreaming about it has stopped.

“Um,” says Jinyoung. “I guess… Jaebum said he wanted to take me out this weekend.”

“You _guess_?” Mark echoes, squeezing his elbow. “That's a big deal! Are you two going to keep seeing each other?”

Jinyoung’s head suddenly aches, and he glances at the main camp road up toward the Im’s house. “I don't… I don't know exactly.”

Mark looks confused, but Jinyoung isn't sure how to clear it up.

“He told his parents I was his boyfriend,” he whispers, and it seems like it was ages ago that he heard Jaebum say it, seems like he wasted weeks of his time chewing over it in his head. But really, it was only yesterday, and he hasn't even told Mark.

“ _What_?!” Mark gasps. “He came out to them? Did they say anything to you? Wait — so now you're really boyfriends?”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “Not yet. It was just to tell his parents about what Nayeon said. I met his mother — kind of. Briefly. She didn't seem too bothered?”

Mark makes an impressed noise. “Jinyoungie already meeting the in-laws,” he murmurs. Jinyoung swats his knee in disagreement.

“But that's why Mrs. Oh knew,” Jinyoung explains. “That's why they came up last night. They all went away to discuss stuff, I guess. But I don't know how it went.”

Mark hums, glancing around the sports field.

“Jaebum isn't helping with games,” Jinyoung confirms, sensing Mark’s next question. “I didn't see him at breakfast either.”

Mark nods, delicate features set in a puzzled frown. “Well maybe Jackson has something big planned for announcing the winners; some kind of special last night event. Sometimes there's a talent show, or a formal dinner. Maybe Jaebum's helping set something up.” He suggests.

It sounds plausible, Jinyoung admits to himself. But he can't shake the sinking feeling, can't quite bring himself to be optimistic. He's certain something's wrong.

As the games are dismissed with mystery scores and kids set out for lunch all abuzz, Jinyoung fingers the bracelet in his pocket. His stomach aches. When will he be able to give it to Jaebum?

  
//

  
The rest of the day flies by, with pine derby races and an impromptu archery tournament. His campers keep him busy, dragging him all over camp to round out their week with their favorite activities. Jinyoung is grateful.

Towards the end of the day, they're treated to a final barbecue dinner up at the fire circle. Jinyoung feels his chest tighten as he eyes the trail where it winds off toward the chapel. 

He crowds in closer to his campers as night falls, and they watch the bonfire get stoked larger. It burns bright and tall, and Jinyoung is mesmerized by the shapes that twist and melt away into the night sky. 

He thinks about how quickly he and Jaebum burned, a little too hot too fast. Now, watching sparks pop out into the sky like stars, and then go dark in a blink, he understands how ephemeral this all might be.

He bites at his lip in concern, petting Taehyun’s head absentmindedly as he leans it against his arm. 

After Jackson announces the winning team for the week is the Fire team, he hands out prizes of candy and the kitchen staff provides them with fixings and skewers for s’mores. The Fire team gallantly agrees to share their winnings with the others, and the boost of good will and sugar lifts everyone's energy levels once again. 

Jinyoung watches Youngjae giggling with two of his campers, competing with them in how many marshmallows they can fit into their mouths. Youngjae is winning, but there are tears in his eyes as he struggles to laugh and breathe at the same time.

The way Youngjae’s eyes curl up reminds Jinyoung of Jaebum, and the way he looks so much younger when he smiles. Jinyoung aches, confused and feeling lonely again, and he wraps his arm around Taehyun, who's snoring now.

Dara and Soohyun are offering face paintings to transform the campers into their spirit animals, and the night brings out plenty of wolves, tigers and bears.

Yugyeom glumly flops down on Jinyoung’s other side after chatting with Dara for a moment. “She said she just doesn't know how to make me a jellyfish,” he says. 

Jinyoung hums sympathetically, and then reaches across to tug Yugyeom’s hood over his head. He yanks at the drawstrings and closes the opening entirely around his face, leaving the long strings to dangle. 

“There you go,” Jinyoung says with a smile, as Yugyeom groans from inside the snug hood. But once he emerges he's smiling fondly, and he attaches himself to Jinyoung's other arm.

“Is all of #8 here?” Jackson approaches them with an instant camera. Jinyoung takes a quick headcount and nods.

“Time to pose for some cabin pictures, guys!” Jackson waves the camera around. “Then you can keep them as souvenirs, and look back at your painted faces and remember who you really are, deep down inside. _You're_ Wilder, now!” 

With a few flashes, Jinyoung and his cabin are immortalized - some as animal spirits, some too cool for face painting, and one dead asleep. Jinyoung lets them divide up the different shots before pocketing one of the last ones for himself. 

He doesn't glance at it yet, as it's still hazy, and he knows it will take longer for it to fully develop.

  
//

  
“I'm not sure why we’re even entertaining this as any kind of obstacle to our arrangement,” Mr. Oh is saying stuffily. He presses his glasses up his nose and wrinkles his brow.

They're settled at Jaebum's family table again, the Ohs on one side, Jaebum and his mother on the other, his father at the head, and JYP lounging comfortably at the other end.

“That _boy_ is obviously just jealous and trying to interfere,” Mrs. Oh insists.

“Jinyoung doesn't have anything to do with this,” Jaebum says with a pointed glare.

“No?” Mrs. Oh snaps. “He's just the whole reason we dragged our asses up the mountain for a meeting.”

“You came up here to _clarify_ Nayeon’s statements,” Jaebum’s mother says, jaw tight. “Maybe Jinyoung was mistaken about the _details_ and you can explain.”

Jaebum's father nods. “A December wedding isn't necessary, first of all. We've long agreed on after Jaebum’s eighteenth birthday in January.”

Mrs. Oh huffs and Mr. Oh pats her on the arm. “Look,” he says. “We've had this agreement for over ten years. We never even made you sign anything. I'm not sure how a couple months this way or that way makes such a difference?”

“Nayeon has looked forward to this for a long time,” Mrs. Oh adds, shifting her tone. “You know how important a girl’s wedding wishes can be.”

“So make it _next_ Christmas,” Jaebum's father says with a shrug. 

Mrs. Oh throws her hands in the air. “Why do we have to delay the inevitable?”

“Because I don't want to marry her at all,” says Jaebum lowly.

“Oh, we know your _preference_ now. Good luck trying to have kids with that twink,” Mrs. Oh sneers. “Park Jinyoung may have a pretty face but you can't start a family with him.”

Jaebum's mother looks irritated, but she stays calm and  holds onto Jaebum's arm tightly as he looks like he’s going to spring across the table.

“You keep his name out of your mouth,” Jaebum practically spits. 

Mr. Oh outright chuckles at this. “Friends, since when do we include the children in this discussion at all? If he's only going to throw a tantrum, I'm not sure what we're going to accomplish.”

Jaebum's father heaves a sigh, looking ruffled. “Jaebum, what did Nayeon say to him about selling?”

“Allegedly,” Mrs. Oh says. 

“Nayeon said we should sell the land when you guys retire, because camp isn't profitable,” Jaebum says, struggling to keep his voice steady. 

“It doesn't _have_ to be low profit,” says Mr. Oh, “if you make cuts where we don't need it - the food budget alone is out of control. We’re buying local produce and milk. We’re giving these kids _real_ bacon? All of the fresh fruit at tonight's luau. And besides all that, we're _paying_ the games director?”

“You think _more_ kids are going to come up to a camp with crummy food and no games?” Jaebum's mother snaps.

“The games are the backbone of the camp,” interjects JYP. “Summer and winter. Dara always tells me, Heechul, Jaesuk, _every camp’_ s program managers tell me so — year after year.”

“Our Mr. Park has never exceeded the budget allotted him,” Jaebum's father adds.

“There shouldn't be a games budget at _all_ ,” Mr. Oh says pointedly ignoring JYP. “Have somebody volunteer if you want a person to tell the kids how to run a race.”

“The team system is integral to helping campers bond where they wouldn't otherwise—!” JYP yelps, and Mrs. Oh reaches out to tap at the table impatiently.

“Please, gentlemen. I really don't feel comfortable continuing this talk about budget without the rest of the board present.” She says.

“Those limp fish never say anything,” Jaebum's mother mumbles quietly, and Jaebum glances at her in surprise. The Ohs don't respond.

“Regardless of the current state of things,” Mr. Oh simpers, “I’m sure Nayeon meant selling would be a last resort.”

“It shouldn't be on her mind at all,” Jaebum's father says sternly. “Jaebum will be in charge and selling won't even be up for discussion with your daughter.”

“That's _not_ how we intend the shares to be divided,” Mrs. Oh grits out.

“I'm not sure why she's so preoccupied with making so much more money,” Jaebum's father continues. “If you promised to marry her off to someone rich, you shouldn't have entertained an arrangement with us.”

“Well of course it's never been about _money_ for us,” Mrs. Oh says greasily. “We don't need any help there. We just want what's best for the camp as well.”

“If Nayeon wants to improve the profitability of Wilder, what could possibly be the harm? Wouldn't it benefit both the camp and their marriage?” Mr. Oh says. “And _your_ retirement?”

Jaebum's father nods reluctantly.

Jaebum's mother sighs, reaching under the table to squeeze his knee. Jaebum knows this softening in the conversation means they'll settle again soon, and a wave of nausea hits him as he realizes his chance at freedom is slipping away again. If he ever really had one.

 _What if_ I _don't want to improve Wilder_? Jaebum thinks to himself, and he says it in his head three times in a row, trying to get it to his throat and out his mouth in real life. His tongue feels heavy, his ears buzz, but he can't bring himself to make a sound.

Instead, JYP slams a large manila envelope onto the table. “Ladies. Gentlemen,” he booms. “I have a suggestion for you.”

  
//

  
It's abruptly Saturday. Jinyoung's campers slowly trickle away, leaving emails and phone numbers and promises to keep in touch. 

He kisses them all on their cheeks, even a wriggling, protesting BamBam who wasn't in his cabin. 

He watches them all head home, and as the campground gets quieter and emptier, Jinyoung feels emptied too.

He finds himself staring up the road at the house, with its romantic looking attic and fading paint, thinking it looks a million miles away.

Eventually, he and Mark put their things in the car, and hover beside it, saying goodbyes to other counselors and staffers.

Youngjae approaches him with a soft expression and folds him into an even softer hug, smiling into his neck before they part.

“ _Hyung_ ,” says Youngjae shyly. “I'm sorry I got a little weirded out by things. I hope you’ll still be my friend.”

Jinyoung nods, pressing his lips together and attempting his best smile, suddenly feeling too shy to ask about Jaebum or their parents. Youngjae doesn't seem to have any idea of it anyhow, cheerfully weaving back into the crowd after a wave.

Jinyoung watches him embrace Mark, even as he stands beside Jackson, and it's a strange but warm dynamic that's developing between the three of them. Jackson reaches out to squeeze Youngjae by the nape of the neck, and Mark beams at them both. Everyone's eyes are sparkling.  
   
Jinyoung sighs, turning away from the sticky sweet display and swinging the passenger door open so he can flop into the seat. It's really going to end this way? He had felt so close to something very new and very special, and it had melted away. Jinyoung thinks about his last words with Jaebum, as they parted in the boathouse, lips still wet with spit. He'd just said  _bye_ , and Jaebum had said  _see you._ Bitterly, Jinyoung thinks about how he _won't_ be seeing him.

He buckles his seatbelt and sits there alone for another ten minutes or so, feeling grumpy and anxious.

Mark joins him eventually, looking across at him in surprise. “We’re really just going to go?” He asks.

“What else am I supposed to do?” Jinyoung counters. “He isn't _here_.”

“Do you have any contacts? A number, a Twitter, is he on Grindr?” Mark suggests.

Jinyoung freezes, eyes blown wide, then suddenly reaches for his phone. There it is, a ray of hope to slice through the fog he's been wandering in. “I have a number,” he says quietly, bringing up the one “ _kiss kiss_ ” text he'd sent himself using Jaebum’s number.

Mark huffs, leaning back in the driver’s seat and stretching out. “I'm not driving you anywhere until you at least call him.”

Jinyoung blinks at the conversation window, biting his lip. He adds the phone number to his contacts, fingers trembling as he spells out “Jaebum” and then pouts at the emoji keyboard for a longer moment, considering adding something extra. 

Mark leans across to see what he's looking at and flicks him in the ear. “Just call! Decide on a heart later.”

“I wasn't going to add a heart,” Jinyoung mumbles, hastily scrolling away from the hearts, leaving the name unadorned as he saves it.

He makes the call, staring out the window at the sunlight through the trees as it rings. And rings. And rings.

Jinyoung hears Mark’s soft cluck of sympathy beside him and for some reason it irritates him further. As it passes him through to a voicemail, Jinyoung feels prickly hot with frustration, embarrassed by how much he wanted Jaebum to answer. But his eyes well up as soon as Jaebum's distant, recorded voice lazily instructs callers to leave a message.

Jinyoung hangs up at the tone, loudly sniffling as he can't hold back the sudden wave of tears. He'd been pessimistic yesterday, a little annoyed, faintly disappointed. But this feels like outright rejection. Like he's had a door slammed in his face. 

Jinyoung lets his phone fall into his lap as he cries. He catches a glimpse of his broken expression in the passenger side mirror and he's repulsed by it, hiding his face in his hands and crumpling lower in the seat.

“Jinyoungie,” Mark says gently, and Jinyoung feels his fingers thread through his hair. “I'm sure he’ll call you back.”

A sob rips through Jinyoung's entire body, chest heaving shakily as he draws his knees up. Even with Mark beside him, he feels utterly abandoned. “Can we ju-ust _go_ , please?” He begs, breath hiccuping through the stabs of sharp emotion.

Mark is already starting the engine, buckling his seatbelt swiftly. Jinyoung feels numb as the tires spin a bit on the gravel, and refuses to watch the camp grow smaller behind them on the drive back out. It's a sight he doesn't even want to imagine, too sharply tied to how he's feeling.

It's not until they're far enough away, on a highway towards home, that Jinyoung presses his wet cheek against the window and looks out it again.

Now, basic sights of urban life are comforting. Gas stations, power lines, billboards. The dull thrum of traffic around them, the Doppler effect of a passing motorcycle, and the soft click of Mark's turn signal surround Jinyoung in a warm blanket of distraction.

They _had_ something, didn't they? They had something - something a little special - but now it must be over, and Jinyoung has a life to get back to.

  
//

  
The remaining days of summer slip by Jinyoung like water through his fingers. Before he realizes it, he's packing the last of his things into the back of his family's van. He’s leaving for university first thing in the morning.

His mother strains a little to slam the door shut, and then he helps her back up the stairs to their apartment.

“Do you want to talk about it at all?” his mother prompts him, as they climb.

“College?” Jinyoung wonders, holding the door open for her.

“No, no,” she waves absentmindedly as they step out of their shoes and she flops onto the sofa in the living room. “I've heard enough about going off to school after two daughters and now a son. I could have gotten a degree in it by now.”

Jinyoung hums as he settles beside her, squeezing a pillow to his chest. “What then?” He asks.

“Whoever it was,” his mother says. “Who _happened_ to you this summer, to make you lock yourself up this week? I haven't heard you crying - but I've got eyes, you know.”

Jinyoung’s breath hitches and he practices counting out breaths to keep himself from breaking down. He's been trying not to burden his parents with another element of stress, has been hoping once he gets into a familiar  schedule of classes and studying he’ll feel better.

“I met someone before camp,” he says carefully, frowning as he remembers slyly peeking at Jaebum's features from across a couch. “We sort of, hit it off I guess.” He blushes as he thinks about Jaebum fucking him into the mattress, fucking him against a desk, fucking up into him as water overflowed the tub.

“But I didn't think I'd see him again.” He says, voice hoarse.

Jinyoung's mother raises her eyebrows, patiently waiting for more.

“It turned out he lived and worked at that camp. Mark's camp that I went to? And so we, um. Started hanging out again.” His voice trembles a little as he thinks about Jaebum lounging in his chair at the pool, tan skin glowing in the sun. Thinks about Jaebum’s arms wrapping around him as the warm shower water beating down on both of them.

“And I really,” Jinyoung chokes on his words, suddenly just as freshly distraught as when Jaebum didn't answer his phone call, a week ago. “I really like him,” he sobs, and his mother hurries to his side, wraps him in her arms and lets him bury his face into her shoulder.

“Well if he doesn't like you back, he can't be that great. If he doesn't understand how wonderful my Jinyoung is, he's not worth it—!” She grumbles, petting his head.

“He _does_ like me back,” Jinyoung whines. “We like _each other_ , but he's marrying some dumb girl who-whose parents own the camp!”

His mother draws back and wipes some of the snot off his face. “Why is he getting married?” She wonders. “You guys are babies, still — unless, is he an older man??”

Jinyoung huffs, pushing her hands away. “No, he's just a few months older,” he says. “It's an arranged marriage so his family can get shares or something. They used to own the camp but - I don't know.”

Jinyoung's mother frowns, crossing her arms. “What kind of shitty TV drama did I just tune into here?” She snaps. “If he wants you, what's he doing?”

Jinyoung holds back a little smile at this. His mother has always voiced her first thoughts, however harsh they may be. It's made Jinyoung become someone who holds his own back, until he's sure he's saying the right thing. But it's comforting to hear her snap now, on his side.

Jinyoung sniffs loudly, shaking his head and turning away. “I don't know,” he says quietly. “We were going to go out on Saturday. After my campers went home. But he just… disappeared Friday. I didn't see him at _all_ \- I didn't even get to say goodbye. I left without seeing him, without speaking to him. He didn't answer my call—!”

Jinyoung curls over and digs his palms into his eye sockets, fighting off another sob and feeling pitiful. His mother is no stranger to his weak moments, but he doesn't want to wallow. 

He thought he was ready to move forward, ready for the next chapter in his life. But talking about it reminds him of how raw it really is. He thinks bitterly about his carpet burns, now almost completely healed on his back, and wishes his feelings were as hardy.

Jinyoung's mother rubs the back of his neck. “Alright. It's okay to be sad for a little longer,” she accedes. “But you've got to promise me once school starts, you'll remember how special you are to me. And to people like Mark, and your sisters. Maybe it's not the love you want, but it's a lot. A lot of love.”

Jinyoung cries harder, her words piercing despite the comfort. He knows this, underneath it all. They're going to be enough. They were enough before and will be enough again.

  
//

  
Jinyoung dives into classes quickly. The flurry of moving into a dorm, registering for his schedule, and being immediately overwhelmed with thick historical texts and supplies for introductory art courses is a welcoming distraction.

He’s in his earliest art history class, in a darkened auditorium trying to stay awake for slides of cave paintings. His tumbler of coffee and laptop suddenly rattle loudly.

The professor shoots a glare his way as he fumbles his phone out of his bag from where it sits atop the desk, declining the incoming call to silence the vibrations. The name he glimpses as he hastily stows the phone away gives his heart a pinch.

It's not _possible_ , he assures himself, fingers moving steadily over his keys as he copies down information from the next slide. 

In fact, he's been reminded of Wilder all week - the on-campus market sells the same brand of frozen lemonade, and one of the lush green fields in the center quad stays foggy well into the morning, looking just like the sports field. 

But this is not a coincidence. It's a delusion. He's fantasized about Jaebum calling him for too long, and now he's surely losing his marbles. 

As class dismisses, he slips his laptop into his bag and casually checks the time on his phone. One missed call, he notices. So someone did call him, but it was probably his mother or — his heart skips a beat as he opens the call log. Jaebum. Im Jaebum really tried to call him.

He struggles as he heads across the building to his introductory drawing class next, carrying an oversized portfolio with the giant drawing pad and clipboard they’re required to use.

It makes traveling from the dorm and between classes a hassle, so Jinyoung is determined to find a locker today. The ones closest to the art studios were already claimed before the term even started, by shrewd upperclassmen. 

Jinyoung slings his portfolio over his shoulder along with his bag, so he can attempt a phone call on his way. It whacks his bag into his hip with each step and he grimaces. A few passing students startle slightly at his expression.

“Mark hyung,” he says sharply before his friend even greets him. “What do I do?”

Mark sighs. “I have ten minutes to get to class,” he says, voice bleary and short of breath. “Can you at least tell me what we’re talking about, so we can make it quick?”

“He called me,” Jinyoung pouts, nearly knocking someone out with his bags as he turns a sharp corner.

“What… who?” Mark murmurs.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung says, collapsing onto a bench easel in his next classroom, still blissfully empty.

Mark is silent for a moment. “ _Im_ Jaebum?” He warbles.

“ _Yes_ ,” Jinyoung hisses. “I was in class so I declined it without even looking, what do I do _now_?”

Mark hums. “Don't you have drawing or something next?”

Jinyoung huffs, too impatient to deal with fuzzy morning Mark. “Yes. I _do_ , but I mean: when I have time. Do I call him back?”

“I guess,” says Mark. “If you want to talk to him…”

Jinyoung sighs. “I’ll talk to you later,” he snaps, hanging up and staring across the open classroom. The studios all have floor to ceiling windows, and it floods everything with bright, even lighting, even now when it's overcast and dull. 

It comforts Jinyoung to look out across the campus, to feel the worn wood of the bench beneath his tense fingers.

It's comforting to remember he really is still far from Wilder, and Jaebum. He can handle this.

And the pettier side of him is very satisfied that Jaebum has one missed call, to mirror his own. It's not as if he wants to  _punish_  Jaebum, per se. But maybe a little.

Jinyoung doesn't know what to do. He wants to move on, but for that to happen, doesn't he deserve closure? Shouldn't he at least know _how_ it's ending?

 _Maybe it's an invitation to his wedding,_ Jinyoung thinks with a sour smile, setting out his board and pencils.

Jinyoung’s drawing class dismisses two and a half hours later, and he wearily heaves his portfolio back out into the halls with him as he sets out for the opposite end of the arts complex. This is where the performing arts classes are housed, with music and dance studios, as well as a real theater.

He knows the music students need oversized lockers as well, and is hoping his portfolio can fit in one. Even if it's a bit of a walk between classes, it's better than lugging it back to the dorms every day if he doesn't need it for homework.

He's rounding a corner and trying to be a little more careful not to hit anyone with his things, just as several dance classes are being dismissed. This building’s hallways are a little more narrow, so he's trying to be a extra careful, nodding apologetically from behind his huge case when he spots it. An open, empty locker.

It's at the end of the hall, in the very middle of a short row of them, and he feels his heart flutter. What luck. And still on the ground floor, too. Jinyoung presses forward, dodging a few ballerinas.

“...still can't believe you managed to get in so late,” someone is saying, in a friendly voice that Jinyoung faintly recognizes. He doesn't focus on it as he crams his portfolio into the locker at an angle, sighing in relief as it settles into place.

“They're usually so stern about the audition period, they must have really loved your video.” Someone else agrees, as Jinyoung digs through his other bag for the padlock he'd purchased earlier in the week.

“I recorded that in one hour,” says Jaebum with a laugh. “I had so many energy drinks I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I can't believe it either.”

Jinyoung shuts the locker carefully, lines up the latch and slides the lock through, smiling. As it clicks into place, his head snaps up. _Jaebum_. He finally processes he heard Jaebum's voice.

“Catch you later, Jimin,” Jaebum is saying, directly behind him.

Im Jaebum. Is standing directly behind him. At his university.

Jinyoung's fingers shake as he cranks the combination dials on his lock to a random setting, body suddenly aching with tension.

“Seeya, man,” Jimin’s also familiar voice is cheerfully fading down the hall.

Jinyoung is frozen, still gripping his lock and staring at it. What if Jaebum sees him? He just called him a few hours ago. Will he approach him? Jinyoung curls himself closer against the locker, hoping he isn’t recognized. He's not ready.

He can hear his heartbeat in his ears. Jinyoung clutches his lock even tighter, his own breath suddenly too loud. People are passing all around him, but did Jaebum leave?

Jinyoung counts out a full minute before turning around. The hallway is busy, but Jaebum is nowhere to be seen. Jinyoung lets out a shuddering breath and hurries out of the building and back towards the dorms, terrified.

 


	11. wild again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for sticking thru the tough times in the last chapter. Hopefully I can start making it up to you now~ 
> 
> I do intend to revisit some of the campers a little bit before this whole thing wraps up. I’m thinking there are around two more parts left? But first... smut.
> 
> Also!! Look at [this amazing fanart](http://miki-draws.tumblr.com/post/151143963164/chapter-10-asdfghjklkjhhtybvcrj-another-jjp-fanart) Miki drew for chapter 10!! I’m dying, it’s so perfect.

  
“Let's see,” says Mark, frowning face a little blurry on Jinyoung's laptop as they video chat. He's slurping noodles in what looks like an even smaller dorm room than Jinyoung’s. 

Mark goes to a smaller private university, where he probably never runs into anybody he doesn't see, and he doesn't have a roommate. Jinyoung envies him more than ever today, glancing across his dorm at his roommate’s disastrous half. At least he rarely sees him.  
   
“So you _think_ it was Jaebum.” Mark continues, pointing an accusatory chopstick through the screen.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes, blowing his nose into a tissue and then gasping at it in horror as he peels it away from his face.

“What?” Mark asks, looking concerned.

“We’ve been working with a lot of charcoal lately,” Jinyoung says, showing the black streaks on his tissue to the camera. Mark cackles and leans away from his computer.

“Anyway, I _know_ it was Jaebum. I know his voice and I know Jimin’s and they know each other, so that's who it was.” Jinyoung says, picking up a stack of flashcards and shuffling them.

They each have various art thumbnails on one side, and corresponding information on the back. He idly sorts through them.

“Fine. Allegedly Jaebum is at your school. But I don't get why you didn't say anything? Weren't you just saying you wanted to call him back?” Mark says, and slurps.

“No,” says Jinyoung, sifting. “I was asking if I _should_.” 

“Don't you want to know what happened? Why he didn't call you until today?” Mark asks.

“Of course,” Jinyoung says, lowering his cards with a sigh. “But I also feel like I deserve an apology, you know? It hurt me, even if there was a good reason.”

“And you expect to _receive_ an apology _without_ speaking to Jaebum,” Mark says, voice flat but words pointed.

“No,” Jinyoung huffs. “But I’m just – I’m upset, okay? I didn’t think I’d ever have to deal with this again and it’s really frustrating to feel like the ball is somehow in _my_ court.”

Mark frowns a little but nods after a moment. “So you’ll answer if he calls again?”

“I don’t know,” Jinyoung moans. “I guess, I should.”

Mark hums through another mouthful of noodles.

“Hey,” says Jinyoung slowly. “Can’t you snoop a little about what’s going on with the camp? Ask Jackson or Youngjae?”

“You have their numbers too,” Mark points out, wiping his mouth on a sleeve. “But I guess I can try? Jackson hasn’t mentioned it. He’s really busy with his senior year, dance classes, all that stuff JYP keeps him on. He did say he’d try and visit one of these weekends.”

“But JYP _would_ know,” says Jinyoung. “At least something.”

“Try Youngjae,” Mark instructs. “It’s his family.”

“I don’t want to seem like I’m only talking to him to get to Jaebum.” Jinyoung says.

“Then don’t do that,” says Mark. “Talk to him about himself, too.”

Jinyoung nods, and is quiet another moment, looking contemplative. “Do you think Jaebum knew I was going to school here?”

“Did you ever mention it? Like at the party or something.” Mark asks.

“No,” says Jinyoung, “I think I just talked about my major.”

“There are so many places you could have gone,” says Mark. “I'm sure he had no idea.”

“It's just a weird coincidence,” Jinyoung sighs, shuffling his flashcards.

“ _Destiny_ ,” Mark says with a teasing tone. “Don't pretend you didn't think of the word destiny.”

“I didn't,” Jinyoung says primly. “Because I'm not twelve.”

Mark laughs. After they say goodnight and Jinyoung crawls under his covers, he admits to himself it was a lie. He'd thought about destiny, fate, about stars aligning and tapestries being woven.

But most of all: he'd thought about how much he missed the feeling of Jaebum's body beside his. He keeps thinking about how close they were physically, but it still feels very far.

Jinyoung wonders how long he can go before giving in and contacting Jaebum. He knows if he gives it enough time, he could be fine. Maybe they could even be friends. 

That's the thing about time, Jinyoung is realizing: it just keeps going. And there's nothing more reassuring or more terrifying. 

  
//

  
Jinyoung lays out his faded jeans and sighs, the cranberry stain still a faint, persistent pink. He runs his fingers over it, frowning.

The one other student in the laundry room grumbles as the clothes she's taking out of the dryer topple into too tall of a tower, promptly spilling out of her basket. 

Jinyoung peeks over shyly, smiling at the familiar struggle. Once she’s settled her things, Jinyoung watches her shuffle out the door, only to smack her basket into an incoming Jaebum.

Some of their clothing falls to the floor in a mix, and they're stammering and apologizing. Jaebum is helping sort their items, conspicuously avoiding contact with a pair of panties or two.

Jinyoung stares at the scene for a moment too long, as if he's watching a scene from a movie. _Is this their meet-cute?_ His heart aches for a moment, and then he gasps quietly and sinks to his knees behind his row of washing machines.

Jinyoung had forgotten for a moment that he was also in the room. With Jaebum, who he doesn't want to see yet. Who he's known about being campus for almost an entire week. Who he was certain he wouldn't have to see if he just always wore a hood or a hat by his locker. 

But here they are, both doing laundry in the dorms on a Friday night. 

Jinyoung peeks over the top of his washer at the entrance, but Jaebum and the girl are politely parting ways. Jinyoung lets out a small breath of relief at their lack of flirting - he briefly considered tucking his whole body into a dryer if he witnessed it.

Jaebum moves towards the other side of the room and Jinyoung squats down again, mind racing. Maybe if he quickly sets the machine to run, and then he runs, he can sneak out for the time being.

Jinyoung reaches up and yanks a leg of his jeans toward the edge and they flop onto his head for a moment before he attempts to stuff them in the front of the washer. He winces at the sound of the button clanging against the metal.

“ _Jinyoung_?”

It's said very softly, but it's certainly his name. Jinyoung hangs his head, letting his jeans slip out of the washer as his hands fall in defeat.

He turns to look at Jaebum and immediately regrets it, because meeting his gaze makes his whole body come alive. The bitterness he felt melts away with the deep, dark sweetness of Jaebum’s eyes.

Jinyoung has to clear his threat before he says anything, shuffles the jeans hanging over his knee awkwardly. “Hi,” he finally says, and then has to shut his eyes briefly in embarrassment at how quiet it was. He may as well have said _meep_.

When he opens his eyes, Jaebum looks completely frozen in shock, paler than he's ever seen him, gripping his basket too tightly. He really must not have known Jinyoung was here.

“You’re studying here,” Jaebum whispers.

“I am,” says Jinyoung, standing up and flopping his jeans back down. “I'm studying Art History, like I said I would be.” 

The implication is a little harsh, he supposes, but it gets the point across.

Jaebum's eyes waver, setting his basket on the machine next to Jinyoung’s, along with a backpack. “I didn't know I would or could go to college at all,” he says. “Things… changed really quickly.”

Jinyoung fights an urge to roll his eyes, even though he knows it’s childish. He can feel his face prickling with spots of redness as he tries not to cry and tries not to yell and tries not to make a fool of himself.

He focuses on emptying out the pockets of his jeans, and abruptly finds the bracelet he had made for Jaebum. Jinyoung clenches it tightly in his fist, gnawing at his lip.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum's voice is soft, silky beside him, and his hand curls around Jinyoung's forearm. “I’m sorry I waited so long to call you.”

Jinyoung's breath hitches, and he swallows heavily. The lump in his throat is painful, the urge to sob too heavy for him to speak. He nods grimly to acknowledge Jaebum's apology, mouth twisted up tight as he fists the denim of his pants. Here they all are again. Jaebum, these jeans, a laundry room. But a lot seems to have changed since their first night together.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum urges him, face so close Jinyoung can feel the warmth of his breath. “I’m so sorry. My parents,” he sighs, squeezing Jinyoung's arm. “My parents almost split up.”

Jinyoung releases his things, finally turning to face Jaebum, face gone pale and glazed eyes wide. “W-what?” He manages to croak out.

“After our meeting with the Ohs, they had a big fight. JYP offered to buy out the Ohs’ shares and give them a departure bonus to help cover Nayeon’s… um, emotional ordeal.” Jaebum says, picking up volume once he sees Jinyoung is listening.

“My mom and I were really excited once they accepted, but my dad wasn't happy about it. He still wasn't getting any shares out of it, so I guess he felt like it still was a loss. They spent Friday fighting, mostly. They were both threatening to move out.” Jaebum sighs. “My dad ended up leaving for the night, and I didn't want my mom to be alone.”

Jinyoung doesn't say anything, doesn't feel like it's his right. He feels his face grow warmer with embarrassment, flustered that he had been so upset when something profoundly larger was happening with Jaebum’s family.

“Is everything alright now? Are you alright?” Jinyoung finds his voice to ask, as Jaebum has released his arm and is starting to toss laundry into his own washer.

Jaebum breathes deeply for a moment, hands gripping the edge of the machine. “It's better,” he says.

“Youngjae came back from his first week counseling all amped and sunshiney and then we had to explain,” Jaebum pauses to clear his throat, “we had to explain why our dad wasn't there.”

Jinyoung feels like garbage, lip trembling as he listens. He can't look at Jaebum any longer, ashamed at how directly he feels responsible.

“Youngjae was the one who was able to get him to come home,” says Jaebum, shoving the last of his socks into the washing machine. “He called my dad and said, at least, he could become director once he retired. Youngjae said he'd keep working there for the family.”

Jinyoung watches helplessly as Jaebum shuts the machine and swipes his ID for payment. It starts to run quietly. Jaebum turns back to Jinyoung, and they both look guilty.

“Is that something he really wants?” Jinyoung whispers.

“Well, he's fifteen,” Jaebum says. “I'm not sure if he knows yet.”

Jinyoung feels his face crumple, and a tear runs down his cheek before he can turn away. He crouches to cram a bunch of his clothing into the machine, and hears Jaebum sigh, kneeling beside him.

Jaebum puts his hands on his, stops him in his rush, gently peeling a shirt out of his cramped fingers and tossing it aside. “Hey,” Jaebum says hoarsely. “It's okay.”

“It's _not_ ,” Jinyoung protests, “I _did this_ to your family. If I hadn't told you what Nayeon said, everything would have been fine. You could have just talked her out of it, and it'd be okay.”

“How would that be okay?” Jaebum snaps, fingers tightening around Jinyoung's. “It would be okay for me to marry someone I didn't love, to get stock I didn't care about, as long as she was miserable too?” He heaves a sigh, softening his grip. “My family has had issues long before I got to know you. Long before you made me want to stand up for what I really wanted.”

Jinyoung drops onto his bottom, crying harder. “But now Youngjae is trying to throw away his future so he can help you. Can't you see that? He just wants to help.”

“Youngjae _loves_ Wilder,” Jaebum says sternly. “He's never talked about going anywhere else. I _don't know_ that he won't change his mind, but he genuinely cares about the camp and what's so wrong with that?”

Jinyoung tries to move to wipe his tears, but Jaebum gently blocks his hand and uses his own long sleeve to dab at his cheeks. “Anyway, my mother won't let him throw anything away. Just like she made me go to college, because she knew it’s what I really wanted.”

Jinyoung struggles to accept this, still feeling at fault, and they both stay quiet for a bit.

“How did you get admitted so late?” Jinyoung wonders.

“Dara’s family has connections to the dean, and Jimin has trained with the head of the dance department. Basically a lot of begging. My mom spent four hours on the phone trying to figure out financial aid. And, you know,” Jaebum clears his throat, blushing a little as he looks him up and down.

Jinyoung, sniffles fading, frowns at his pause. “What?” He asks.

“Fate?” Jaebum shrugs, smiling cutely, and Jinyoung huffs, exasperated at his light turn of mood. He continues stuffing the rest of his things into the washer, pausing as the leather bracelet he made tumbles out again. He thrusts it at Jaebum, flustered.

“You can’t give me this,” Jaebum says as they stand up, Jinyoung digging out his ID to pay. “Don't you want something to remember camp?”

Jinyoung swipes his card and turns to glare at him a bit, before tugging up the cuff of his sleeve to show his own original version.

“I made that one for you,” Jinyoung says, stiffly. “But I never got to give it to you.”

Jaebum's face is a mix of emotions, flickering from surprise to embarrassment, settling on a pleased curl of his lips as he immediately tries it on. Jinyoung watches with pink cheeks, reluctantly liking the way the brown leather cords contrast with Jaebum’s silver rings and bulky watch.

“You don't have to take it,” Jinyoung stammers.

“Maybe I should wait to wear it?” Jaebum asks after staring at it for a moment, untying the clasp and tucking it into his backpack.

“For what?” Jinyoung frowns, despite his previous insistence.

“Our first date,” says Jaebum softly. “When you decide you can finally be my boyfriend.”

Jinyoung flushes, thinking absently this is definitely another one of his stranger laundry experiences. “We’ll see how it goes,” Jinyoung adds quietly.

Jaebum chuckles, ducking his head so his chin goes soft, and Jinyoung wonders if he’s met the most precious boy in the world. He chides himself for hyping himself up so quickly, after having been so upset and he turns away, ears still burning.

They’re silent for a bit, machines calmly humming in sync.

“You're not engaged,” Jinyoung blurts out after a moment. He turns back to Jaebum, eyes blown wide.

Jaebum blinks a few times in surprise, leaning against the row of washers. “I'm not,” he confirms, “I'm not engaged anymore.”

Jinyoung stares at him as the news finally washes over him. Jaebum is finally unattached. Jaebum has never felt completely his, before. So completely, inescapably his own. Jinyoung has always felt like he was stealing moments with him. Borrowing him against a strict deadline. 

But now, Jinyoung stares at the man before him, suddenly and completely available. His eyes hungrily trace the stout muscle of his legs, thighs nearly bursting out of ripped jeans as usual, another oversized shirt dripping off of broad shoulders. Jinyoung swallows heavily. 

Jaebum gazes back at him warmly.

“What are you waiting for?” Jinyoung snaps.

Jaebum almost starts to laugh, but the sound is stolen away from him as Jinyoung reaches across and yanks him by the nape of his neck. 

It's a dominant move, that Jaebum has used in scolding and teasing his little brother or his younger friends, and he reacts sharply. A shiver of instinctive irritation tickles down his spine. But it's soon twisting into arousal in his gut, the heat shooting to his groin as Jinyoung presses his body all along his front.

Jinyoung gets very close to his mouth, stares almost cross-eyed at his lips. Jaebum braces himself away from the impending kiss for a moment.

“Do you forgive me?” Jaebum confirms, mouth nudging Jinyoung's very delicately with the question.

“ _Please_ ,” says Jinyoung, impatient.

Jaebum chuckles, and their lips meet, slowly and evenly moving together. He captures Jinyoung's lower lip between his own, softly kneading it towards him. 

Jinyoung's mouth gets coaxed open as his lip is tugged, and he licks out to taste Jaebum before clutching his upper lip in an interlocking embrace, and they kiss simply and softly.

Jinyoung finds it deeply comforting, to feel the way he felt before. It's a relief to realize that they still fit into one another. Jinyoung's hands are weaving into Jaebum’s hair, Jaebum's hands sneaking around his waist and dropping lower, until they cup and grope at Jinyoung’s ass.

This presses their groins together, and Jinyoung gasps into their languid kiss as it feels like the heat in the room kicks up. 

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum breathes out, “I can't believe I found you again.”

Jinyoung can't believe it either, mewling a little as Jaebum lifts him easily, planting him atop a washer and kissing him harder. 

It's messy, tongues out and slick between them, Jaebum leaning Jinyoung farther back as Jinyoung wraps his legs around his waist to stay anchored. He pulls his knees up and digs his heels into Jaebum's back, so he can feel the swell of his arousal nudge deeper into him. 

“Oh, _jeez_ ,” says a voice, and they hastily separate as another student enters the laundry room. Jinyoung wipes his lips embarrassedly, looking away. Jaebum props his arms on the washing machine, on either side of him, and smiles politely.

The older girl sneers at them, opening a washer nearby and starting to move her clothes into a dryer.

“Don't mind me,” she sighs once she's swiped her card, started the dryer and is heading for a quick exit. “Just trying to do laundry... in the laundry room.”

She leaves and they chuckle to each other awkwardly. The washing machine Jinyoung sits atop shifts into another cycle, churning loudly and bucking unexpectedly. He flushes as he feels it move against his bottom, and he looks up almost shyly at Jaebum.

Jinyoung wonders if his mood has been dampened, or if he can still feel his blood pounding through his veins, can still feel the press of his cock against his inseam like Jinyoung can.

Jaebum moves forward again, hips dipping back into Jinyoung's, and his hardness answers any lingering questions.

Jinyoung kisses him again, hungry for the slickness of his tongue in his mouth, clutching at the front of his tee in desperation. Jaebum gladly opens up, angling his head to the side so he can devour Jinyoung.

All the while, Jinyoung grinds up against him, enjoying the hum of the washer against his balls and thighs, intrigued by the rhythmic sway. He knows this is hardly the place to get intimate, but he and Jaebum have only used a bed once, and he finds himself more and more okay with that.

Jaebum tugs Jinyoung's shirt out of his slacks, tsking in disapproval as he has to fumble with a few top buttons before yanking it over his head. Then he's mouthing at Jinyoung's nipples, leaving warm, wet marks in his wake.

Jinyoung cradles Jaebum’s head to his chest as he suckles hard on one side. He kneads the bud delicately with his teeth until Jinyoung is squirming, until they both can see red splotches of deep, heady arousal blooming across his skin.

“ _Jaebum_ ,” Jinyoung sighs out, face blissful and slack. 

“I know,” Jaebum rumbles against his skin, and then he's unbuttoning Jinyoung's pants to peel them off with his briefs. Jinyoung is suddenly bare, bewildered, and Jaebum is unabashedly handling his throbbing erection, wrapping fingers around him and gazing at it like it's something miraculous.

“We’re, in, the laundry room,” Jinyoung gasps, as Jaebum glides his hand along his length. The washing machine beneath him sloshes loudly, as if to punctuate his statement.

“People will leave,” Jaebum assures him, voice hoarse, eyes fixed on Jinyoung's pink, leaking tip. “They'll be too embarrassed.” He doesn't assure him they won't be found, doesn't disagree that it's inappropriate. 

It's enough for Jinyoung, who bumps up slightly with the sway of the washer, and Jaebum's thumb catches along the ridge of his cockhead. Jinyoung wails, leaning forward to grip onto Jaebum’s shoulders as Jaebum pumps him steadily.

“Why are you still wearing clothes?” Jinyoung demands, leaning his head against his chest as Jaebum twists his wrist slightly until Jinyoung is gasping and cursing.

“I like this,” Jaebum says, squeezing tightly, hand moving at a merciless pace. “I get to see so much of you.” 

Jinyoung tries to meet his hand’s speed, but he's already too worked up, too drunk on sensation to match the rhythm. He writhes, naked and pink, under the harsh fluorescent lighting in Jaebum's iron grip.

“You're so pretty like this,” Jaebum whispers, leaning in close and gripping Jinyoung's neck with his other hand to draw him up and toward him. They kiss slowly, Jinyoung panting and biting his lips as he rides each bump of the machine, adding to the force of Jaebum's tugs. 

Finally he goes stiff, yanking hard on Jaebum's shirt as his hips lift up and he comes all over his front.

Jaebum looks down at the sticky mess with a sigh and a smile, and Jinyoung almost starts to apologize, once his eyes have rolled back into place.

But then Jaebum is taking off his soiled tee, and Jinyoung swallows his words heavily, eager to rake his fingers down the planes of his body. Jaebum draws back, reaching for his backpack and shifting the books around inside for a moment as he digs deep.

He returns a moment later with the same bottle of lube from the night of the counselor hunt, and Jinyoung looks at him in surprise.

“You thought you'd need this for classes?” Jinyoung teases. His flashing eyes go dark as he's distracted by Jaebum shimmying out of his jeans, hard cock springing up as it's released.

“I never emptied my bag,” Jaebum laughs. “It's still just for us,” he assures Jinyoung, tugging at his hair so he can kiss him again.

Now that they're both nude, Jinyoung feels a heady rush of commitment to their indecency. They’re both hot to the touch as they press together, skin clammy with sweat. Jaebum slicks up a finger and curls it up into him gently, and Jinyoung spreads his legs atop the machine with a moan.

Fingering him slowly, Jaebum bites his lip, erection pressing against the machine, enjoying the view and the vibrations. 

“J-Jinyoung,” he stammers suddenly, tugging his hand back. Jinyoung squints at him curiously. 

“You should turn over,” Jaebum groans, suddenly yanking him by the hips and dragging him off the edge. Jinyoung lets him manhandle him, enjoying the way he takes control.

His feet have barely touched the ground as Jaebum spins him around, folds his front over the top of the machine, and plucks at the dial hastily. Jinyoung watches in dizzy confusion as it shifts ahead to the spin cycle, but as Jaebum dips two fingers back into him, he doesn't think it through. The stretch is too good, the pleasurable burn too vivid.

But the vibrations from the machine are suddenly heightened, the basket whirring loudly and the whole machine bucking regularly against Jinyoung's cock. He lets out a surprised groan, hugging himself closer as Jaebum plunges into him with three fingers now.

The sensation is intense, and brand new to Jinyoung. He's never played with vibrators or any stimulation besides his own hand. 

By the time Jaebum replaces his fingers with one powerful thrust and bottoms out, dick curving deep inside him, Jinyoung is hard and leaking again already, humping gently against the machine.

He whimpers in response, fingers scrambling for purchase along the smooth edges of the washer, bracing himself as Jaebum starts pounding into him.

It's a little ludicrous, Jinyoung thinks, to have been pining and moping around one moment and then to be stripped bare and fucked into an appliance in public. But their entire story so far has been a little bizzare, and the time spent apart has only made him feel like every wild moment together is worth the risk.

So Jinyoung takes him, arching his back and bouncing back into his thrusts, rolling his own erection against the metal of the machine. He realizes he's smearing into his own precome, the slickness adding to the dizzying vibration.

Jaebum feels so thick, thicker than Jinyoung remembers, sliding in and out of him with a wet sound. Jaebum is grunting, picking up speed, and Jinyoung can feel every detail in this position, is so stimulated that he can imagine the exact drag of his dick’s pulsing veins along his insides. 

He can squeeze down and relish the way Jaebum's cock catches along its way out, massaging along and then slamming back against his prostate. He can savor the sound of Jaebum crying out, sensitive to each pulse.

Jinyoung is in a daze, jaw slack and begging, drool starting to pool heavy in his open mouth as Jaebum jackhammers into him. The familiar tension builds, and he’s gasping and bucking, trying to avoid cumming too soon for a second time. 

But the machine is steadily humming, and Jaebum hits his prostate again, and Jinyoung cries out, hips lifting and twitching as he comes all over himself and the washer. 

Jaebum is still pounding, the lube squelching with each push. Then without warning he's biting down on Jinyoung's shoulder, and he can feel every molten spurt as he releases inside him. 

He hears Jaebum slip out of him, feels the fever-hot drip of cum against the back of his thighs. Jaebum is soon rubbing small circles into the small of his back, whispering into his ear.

“Did you like the spin cycle?” Jaebum wonders hoarsely.

Jinyoung wobbles to a stand, wipes the spit from around his jaw shyly, feeling rumpled and exhausted. His back aches, as do his thighs. But he feels whole, hunger made full on Jaebum's cum and attention. 

So he dizzily nods, and Jaebum smiles, straight teeth and shiny crescent eyes, looking immensely satisfied. 

They dress quickly, Jaebum slipping back into his wet tee with a chuckle. Jinyoung embarassedly wipes down the washer he was curled over with a dryer sheet, feeling a little guilt. 

The washers have gone quiet by the time they settle themselves, so they move their respective loads to dryers and turn to each other curiously once the machines start humming.

Jinyoung reaches out to tug Jaebum close to him again. Jaebum kisses back slowly, interlacing their fingers together. He pulls back for a moment and rests their foreheads together. 

“I'm sorry I let you leave like that,” Jaebum breathes. “Without even a goodbye.”

“I understand why,” says Jinyoung quietly, “but thank you for saying something. It hurt.” He shuts his eyes for a moment at the thought, heart still feeling tender.

Jaebum kisses each of his eyelids, and Jinyoung smiles softly, blinking across at him. Jaebum gives him a big goofy grin again. Jinyoung blushes, feeling suddenly nervous. What is supposed to happen next? In a normal relationship? Are they supposed to pretend they have a normal relationship?

“Since this will take a little longer,” Jinyoung says, running his fingers along the line of dryers, “do you want to hang out in my room, in the meantime? I have some flashcards I should work on.”  
   
Jaebum squints at him, looking mildly suspicious. “I did bring my books to study too,” he says. “My scholarship is pretty strict. But I don't know how much we’ll get much done.”

Jinyoung scoffs. “Don't get cocky,” he says, “I'm a very good student and I’m not easily distracted by a pretty face.” 

Jaebum laughs, and they collect their things. Jinyoung sets an alarm on his phone for the dryers, and Jaebum follows him up to his dorm.

Jinyoung feels very self conscious to suddenly let him into a space of his own. Jaebum had kindly shared camp with him, but this small half of a room is all Jinyoung has to offer at the moment, and he nervously tidies the bed a little before offering Jaebum his desk chair.

Jaebum settles beside him on the bed instead, backpack and laundry basket abandoned by the desk. 

“How’s your roommate?” Jaebum asks, glancing across at the opposite bed, piled high with laundry and books.

“I hardly see him,” Jinyoung offers. 

“Great,” says Jaebum, and leans over to kiss him once again. Jinyoung’s vision spins as he lets Jaebum’s hands drag down his sides and yank his pants back down to his knees once more. Jinyoung nearly hiccups at the rush of attention. It feels like Jaebum has more than two hands, peeling his pants away and handling his ass cheeks again, pulling him up against his body as the tiny mattress creaks. 

Jinyoung straddles his lap, pantless and gasping. Jaebum's fingers suddenly hook up and spear slickly into him once more, and Jinyoung lets out a broken, pitchy moan. 

“You're still wet,” Jaebum rumbles against his ear. Jinyoung nods, and memories burn hot in his mind.

It all feels very familiar – a parallel of the natural rhythm set between them during their first encounters. At least this round is in private, Jinyoung thinks absently. Jaebum, insatiable, bends him back.


	12. interwoven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, hope you enjoy a little more little more smut. Even Markson gets up to a little something this time - easily skippable if you're not into that.
> 
> I promise I will wrap this fic up somehow… my notes are such a mess right now with ideas but I will do my job and sort it out.

 

_Jinyoung straddles his lap, pantless and gasping. Jaebum's fingers suddenly hook up and spear slickly into him once more, and Jinyoung lets out a broken, pitchy moan._

_“You're still wet,” Jaebum rumbles against his ear._

Insatiable, Jaebum bends Jinyoung back onto the bed, angling his hips up so he can watch his two fingers pump in and out through his own fluids.

“You know I don't want you to waste it,” he says lowly, curling his fingers through some of the sheen that's collected around the rim and scooping it back in.

Jinyoung lets out a shuddering breath, body trembling as it’s overstimulated, but he can't help but ease his thighs farther apart.

 “Y-yeah,” Jinyoung sighs out before he can stop himself, “get it deeper.” 

Jaebum gives a satisfied hum, as if approving of his request. He sinks his fingers in until his top knuckles tickle Jinyoung’s already stretched out entrance, playing with the elasticity. His other hand reaches up to palm Jinyoung's soft cock, which makes him gasp.

“You're still tight,” Jaebum whispers, digits squelching into him. “How’s it still feel so tight, after getting stretched out with my cock?” His breath is hot and balmy against Jinyoung’s neck. 

“You feel so good for me, Jinyoungie,” he says softly. “Would you turn over?”

Jinyoung stifles a sob, rolling onto his belly and rocking his hips back slowly.

“Wanna taste you,” Jaebum's voice is saying as his breath tickles down Jinyoung’s back, lips trailing softly down his shoulders and pressing a kiss into the small of his back. 

Jinyoung lets out a mewl and arches forward as he feels his mouth move down the swell of an asscheek. Jaebum presses another kiss where it meets the taut muscle of his thigh, tonguing into the fold of flesh there, swiping sideways toward the heat of Jinyoung’s gasping entrance.

His ambling path ends here, swirling his pointed tongue around the wet rim, dipping into him. Jinyoung cries out. His tongue is so much warmer than his fingers were, the sensation so soft and wet as it undulates that it feels completely alien. 

Jinyoung writhes as Jaebum plunges deeper, hands yanking his thighs apart, nose huffing into his crack. Jaebum flicks his tongue, pulsing it up and down against his insides until Jinyoung is wriggling, crying out and trying to buck back into it. He's flushed, dick curving up, hard and aching for more.

Jinyoung feels a thick drop of mixed fluids easing out of him, dribbling down the inside of his thigh, and then Jaebum is chasing after it, wet mouth smacking as he sucks it off his skin.

Jinyoung is panting, as Jaebum clambers back up to kiss it into his mouth. They share the musky taste of themselves, spit swapping between their lips. Jinyoung flops onto his side, reaching out to clutch at Jaebum’s jaw, to run his nails down the side of his face.

Jaebum sighs into the kiss before quickly moving away to retrieve the lube from his backpack, and then they melt into one another once again.

“Can we? Again?” Jaebum whispers, ducking his head to nuzzle at Jinyoung's collarbones.

Jinyoung nods, despite his exhaustion and a lingering guilty flicker of a feeling that they still probably have plenty Things. To. Discuss. 

Instead, he spreads his legs and wraps his arms around him, sighing in completion once Jaebum slides back inside. He's added more lubricant, so his length feels cool for a moment, refreshing as he pushes through Jinyoung's swollen rim.

Jaebum thrusts into him slowly this time, making long, lazy strokes with his hips, back feeling fluid and graceful under Jinyoung's fingertips. Worn out, Jinyoung does his best to hold on and cants his hips very gently, trying not to strain himself.

Jaebum presses his forehead against Jinyoung’s, softly repeating his name. 

The twin bed creaks dangerously, the cheap particle board of the frame slamming slowly but surely against his desk. 

Jinyoung breathes deeply, accepting each push of Jaebum’s length as he sinks onto it in a deep, lazy fog of pleasure. 

There's a sudden scuffle as someone opens the door to Jinyoung's dorm, a loud yelp, and then the door slams shut once again. Jaebum freezes atop him, still buried deep.

“Fuck,” breathes Jinyoung, startled out of his daze. He draws a sheet up over them in case but tightens his legs stubbornly around Jaebum’s waist, keeping him from pulling out.

“I’m sorry!” Shouts a voice through the door. “I didn't see anything! I mean I saw like, naked, skin. But just the _idea_ of naked! Not anything or _anybody_ in particular!”

Jinyoung grimaces.

“Can you give us,” Jaebum calls out, and then grunts, head dipping to rest against Jinyoung's collarbone for a moment before collecting himself again. “Can you just give us ten minutes?”

There's a pause, then what sounds like a soft snort and a shuffle. “Yes! Of course! I was just going to suggest it!” Says his roommate cheerfully, and then it's quiet again.

Jinyoung sighs, body relaxing again with a gentle roll of his hips. In contrast, Jaebum drags the sheet off of them and cranks one of Jinyoung's legs up and back, over his own shoulder so he can drive deeper.

He's suddenly slamming into him with renewed vigor, at a new angle, and Jinyoung clutches his sheets and mewls out loud, hips sore but still riding along each wave of bliss.

Jinyoung wonders if he’ll break his bed in the first month of the term.

Jaebum comes quickly, hips twitching as Jinyoung feels the heat of his jism once again. It warms his insides, and gushes as Jaebum slips out, everything going soft and sticky and hyper-sensitive. 

Jinyoung absently considers how he’ll have to do another load of laundry for his sheets, and whines a little at the thought, forgetting his own hardness. But then Jaebum is lifting his aching hips a little, lapping at his entrance again until his mouth is positively dripping with lube and cum. His chin glistens in the light as he moves, hungrily, up over Jinyoung's thighs to his erection.

Jinyoung's cock is suddenly enveloped in this obscenely wet warmth, and the abrupt slickness of it takes him by surprise. 

Jaebum's blowjobs are already overwhelming, already hot and wet and inescapably snug. But this one feels buttery soft, this one leaves his shaft glistening as it re-emerges from Jaebum's lips. The gentleness it lends to Jaebum's intensity makes Jinyoung feel like he’s stumbled into a dream. 

Jinyoung forgets the ache in his back for a moment as he curls up and cradles Jaebum's head gratefully, spasming as he releases. Jaebum swallows around him several times, even after his meager emission is long gone, and Jinyoung lets out a broken sob.

Jaebum kisses up his thighs and on, pressing sticky lips all along his torso and back up to his face. They kiss slowly, moving together in a blind, hazy sort of harmony, and then Jaebum collapses beside him on the same pillow.

Jinyoung draws his blanket up over them, messy sheets and all, too exhausted to try and process what their next step should be. Is there anything left to say, when Jaebum's filthy kisses leave him speechless, when they've tied their fates together so tightly once again?

Jinyoung curls into Jaebum's warmth, and surrenders to sleep almost immediately.  

  
//

  
Jinyoung hears soft, friendly tones around him, and peeks his head out of his warm blanket cocoon. Jaebum is no longer beside him. Jinyoung shifts forward to spot him crouching by his dresser, carefully folding what seems to be Jinyoung's dried laundry and frowning as he attempts to sort it away.

“Who knew you were so domestic, Jaebum hyung?” His roommate Hoseok is nibbling on chips while he watches, cross-legged on his own bed. “Jimin always made you sound _cool_.”

“Shut up, Hoseok,” says Jaebum. Jinyoung is surprised they apparently know each other already.

“Hmm, maybe one day I too can find someone who _makes me want to fold laundry_ ,” Hoseok continues, sounding like he's smirking. “It's so inspirational.”

“Just keep it down,” says Jaebum.

“You don't have to do that,” Jinyoung interrupts groggily, sitting up and waving a hand at Jaebum. “You should have woken me up when you went to get the laundry.”

“It's a _gesture_ , Park Jinyoung,” Hoseok chides him, and Jaebum continues to match his socks, the last pieces in the basket.

“Please make a gesture to throw out your rotten leftovers in our fridge,” Jinyoung snips back, curling his blanket around his bottom half carefully. 

“Do you want to go to my room?” Jaebum offers, shutting the sock drawer. “I have a single.”

Hoseok flops back on his bed with a groan. “You have a _single_?? And yet you subjected _me_ , an innocent, to the sight of your flexing ass—!”

Jinyoung flushes, twisting his fingers in his duvet. “Could you pass me some pants?” He asks quietly.

Jaebum nods, turning back to the chest of drawers, selecting and passing him a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. 

They're warm from the dryer, and as Jinyoung shimmies into them under his cover, he gets a little shiver of thrill as Jaebum watches. It's a silly feeling,  considering how intimate they've already been. Jaebum's tongue has been deep inside him, but here is Jinyoung blushing as they share the secret he's not wearing any underwear. 

Jinyoung peeks at Hoseok, who's now thankfully distracted on his phone, before wobbling to his feet. Jaebum helps him move a little more smoothly with a supportive hand at the small of his back. 

Jinyoung glances at his desk and grabs his flashcards and his computer bag on his way out. Just in case they manage to actually study. 

  
//

  
They end up heading to the showers on Jaebum’s level after dropping their things off in his room, Jinyoung complaining faintly of how sticky and sore he is.

Jaebum is more than willing to help scrub him down.  As they kiss under the hot spray in the cramped shower stall, Jinyoung marvels at how doting and considerate Jaebum continues to be.

They haven't even gone on a real date, but Jaebum is clearly making room for Jinyoung in his life. Now, as Jaebum wraps his arms around him from behind, lathering up the wet slopes of Jinyoung's belly, Jinyoung feels secure. 

And somehow, in spite of the burn in his muscles and the heaviness of his eyelids, it feels right when Jaebum grinds his hardening cock into him again. Jinyoung plants his hands on the tile wall and rocks back, lets him roll his hips into his ass lazily.

After a moment, Jaebum hastily turns him around and hikes one of Jinyoung's legs over his hip, gathering both of their dicks together so they can rut against each other. Jinyoung feels all of him, pressing up along his own length, and the closeness of it feels especially vivid in the bright lights and glistening spray of the shower.

Jinyoung is pressed back against the wall, pinned in place and he's grateful, since his thighs are burning and he's not sure how long he would have stayed upright in the other position.

Jaebum thrusts up against him. The hot water beats down on them, pulsing against their skin like a shared, erratic heartbeat.

Jinyoung watches their cocks in a daze, inexplicably drawn to how obscene it looks as their wet, pink shafts slide together, so frenzied they sometimes miss each other entirely. Jaebum grips them together with one hand, attempting to keep them in place.

Jinyoung is mesmerized by how similar they look, close in length and girth, both cut, and nearly wonders whose is whose as the pressure gets more intense. Jaebum drags his thumb across their slits in wide circles, still frotting his hips into him, and Jinyoung flops back against the wall with uncontrollable tremors of pleasure.

A pair of voices and footsteps loudly enter the shower room, two boys laughing about something. Jinyoung can't hold back a wail as he comes, and the voices quiet immediately. 

Jaebum is then yelping into Jinyoung's neck as he erupts too, and then he's gently letting Jinyoung’s leg fall. Jinyoung watches, mouth agape as the semen spills out of his twitching slit, pearly white.

“ _Christ,_ ” says one of the voices as the others head into their own stalls. “ _We've been here two weeks and people are already getting laid?_ ”

Jinyoung slides down the wall, sighing as his feet fall flat once again, and Jaebum wipes them down another time in the cooling water. “Got you,” whispers Jaebum fondly.

“ _Didn't those girls from 401 say somebody was fucking in the laundry room too? Maybe this building has some kind of toxic pheromone leak._ ”

“ _Wishful thinking — a pheromone leak would mean_ you _would actually have a shot,_ ” the other voice teases.

Jinyoung covers his mouth to hide a soft laugh, and Jaebum gently moves it to kiss his cheek. He then shuts off the water and they shuffle back into their pants for the time being, stealing away back to Jaebum's room down the hall.

Jinyoung is inexplicably bashful now, although his mind buzzes with questions. He feels like he's intruding, peeking around the tiny room.

“How did you get a single?” Jinyoung finally finds his voice, dragging a finger along the cramped desk at the foot of Jaebum's bed. A small closet and a comically narrow window finish out the room. “Don't they usually get reserved early?”

“It used to be storage,” Jaebum admits. “At first they didn't think they had room to house me but they found a closet with a window and some outlets, so that's where I ended up.”

Jinyoung tries to hold back a shiver, settling sleepy on the edge of his bed, and Jaebum is quickly by his side, tugging a hoodie over his head. Jinyoung reemerges from the collar feeling soft and babied, but far from complaint.

  
//

  
Jinyoung's phone wakes him later that night, and he stretches, immediately knocking knees with Jaebum. Jaebum curses softly, rolling slightly to the side and hissing in pain. The narrow bed frame groans with the sudden movement.

“M’sorry,” Jinyoung says, squinting at his phone to see Mark is attempting to video call with him. He frowns as he considers his surroundings, just one desk lamp left on. 

“You can take it,” Jaebum says, burrowing his face back into his shoulder. 

“It's just Mark,” Jinyoung reassures him, before accepting the call. Mark's face appears on screen and it immediately squints at Jinyoung’s dim image suspiciously.

“Hey,” he says drowsily, “Jackson is driving up to visit tomorrow morning and I was wondering—!” He inhales sharply as Jaebum's head moves slightly. “Who the _fuck_ is that?”

Jaebum turns slightly to squint up from Jinyoung's shoulder, smiling small and goofy. “Hi, Mark hyung,” he says, voice rumbling and thick with sleep still.

“Wait,” chokes Mark. “ _What_??”

“It's Jaebum,” Jinyoung says calmly.

“It's barely been _a day_ since we last spoke, Jinyoung-ah. What happened?”

“I found him again,” says Jaebum, voice muffled in the sweatshirt he's lent Jinyoung. 

“Where are you guys?” Mark wonders. “Is Hoseok watching this too?”

“Jaebum has a single room,” Jinyoung says, angling his screen around so Mark can see the small space. “It used to be a closet,” he laughs.

“You ran into each other, what? A couple hours ago?” Mark says, eyebrows high, “And now you've moved in together.”

“Please,” says Jinyoung, flustered. “I'm just visiting.” Jaebum smiles but doesn't say anything.

“How many bathrooms have you two—,” Mark starts, and Jinyoung taps at his phone's camera angrily.

“Stop,” he hisses. “What were you saying about Jackson?”

“He's driving up tomorrow and I wanted to know if you would want to take the train over and see us for a little bit.” Mark says, biting his nail. “I'm kind of nervous to see him again.”

“You've been talking to him everyday,” says Jinyoung gently. “What's there to be nervous about?”

“I don't know,” says Mark. “We’re not, like, _together_. And I don't know if he even wants that, since we live kind of far.”

“Why do you need me for that conversation?” Jinyoung asks and Mark huffs, frowning. 

“Because maybe I don't want to _have_ that conversation yet. Because it's _hard_ ,” whines Mark. 

“You do,” says Jinyoung. “That's why you're nervous and stalling. Because you know exactly what you want, really clearly. You just need to ask him if he does too.”

Mark hums, still frowning but clearly listening. “I guess you'll be too busy marathon-fucking Jaebum all weekend anyway,” he says snidely.

Jaebum waves silently and Jinyoung hides his embarrassed, laughing face.

“What’s happening with Wilder?” Mark asks, after watching them fondly for a moment.

“JYP sunbae bought out the Ohs’ shares,” says Jaebum, sitting up a little. “Jackson didn't tell you? JYP was talking about having him move up and work full time as soon as he's graduated.”

“Full time? At Wilder?” Mark echoes, looking uneasy. “He… didn't mention it.”

“Well he's not done with school, who knows what he’ll do,” says Jinyoung.

“I guess,” says Mark, voice trembling.

Jinyoung watches him carefully for a moment. Even in the shadowy lighting of Mark's dorm, buffering through the less than stellar connection on his phone, he can see him bubbling with anxiety, already overthinking what this could mean. 

Jinyoung wishes he could reach through and embrace him, poke him, bite him. Anything to distract and comfort him.

“Hyung,” says Jinyoung gently. “He's going to be so happy to see you.”

Mark nods, giving him a hopeful smile. “Me too,” he says. “I’ll tell you about it later.” He sounds resigned.

They say goodbye, Jinyoung still feeling faintly guilty for turning him down. He doesn't want to be a third wheel though, especially when they so clearly need to talk privately.

“It'll be fine,” Jaebum says into his jaw, curling himself up over him again.

Jinyoung can't help but melt into his embrace, marveling at how immediately he feels better. The warmth between them seems to make everything else inconsequential. Jinyoung sighs as he slips hands under Jaebum's top to feel his skin with his fingertips.

Jaebum kisses his eyelids as they shut, and they fall back asleep quickly.

  
//

  
The next day, Mark is still feeling uncomfortable. It's not that he expects Jackson to tell him everything, but he's asked about Wilder, has asked about his post graduation plans. They've talked about their uncertainties together. 

Mark feels strange knowing there's more on Jackson's plate that he doesn't know about, and stranger still that Jackson doesn't know _he_ knows.

When Jackson texts him that he's arrived and is waiting at the locked dormitory entrance downstairs, Mark feels a storm of butterflies in his stomach. Gut churning, he heads down to let him in.

Seeing Jackson's bright smiling face through the glass door, breath puffing in little visible clouds in the sharpening fall air, Mark sighs with relief. It's not going to be weird, he assures himself. Jackson would never let it be weird.

Pressing the heavy door open, Mark lets out a high pitched giggle as Jackson screams, sweeping inside. Mark barely releases the handle before Jackson is picking him up, squeezing his body against his. Mark's long legs are still dragging a bit along the carpet, and he laughs out all of his wound-up feelings.

Jackson kisses him shyly, on the underside of his jaw, eyes flitting between his expression and the empty lobby. He seems nervous about how Mark will react in public.

Mark wraps his arms around Jackson's neck, smiling and open. “It's good to see you,” he says.

“So good,” Jackson rumbles in response, deep voice going throaty as he lets Mark slide down his front, back to his feet. Mark looks at him with some surprise, looking at his dark eyes and seeing a hunger there that's new.

“Do you want to go eat somewhere,” Mark wonders, as they pull apart. “Or do you want to put your bag in my room first?”

“That sounds good,” says Jackson, shifting his backpack and taking Mark's hand. Mark leads them to the elevators, face pink.

Slowly, they make their way into his small dorm, Jackson immediately dropping his bag and examining every detail of his decor. Mark settles on the edge of his bed and watches him with fond eyes. 

Once Jackson is down to lavishly praising his stash of extra takeout condiments and chopsticks, Mark reaches out and tugs him toward him. Jackson settles on his knees on the floor in front of him, holding Mark’s thighs casually and beaming up at him.

Mark can't help but have feel a little warmer at this positioning, biting his lips as he looks down at Jackson’s mouth. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Jackson says coyly, shaking Mark's knees a little bit. 

“Really?” Mark breathes, leaning back on his hands and flushing deeper.

“JYP sunbaenim offered me a full time job,” Jackson says gleefully, knocking Mark’s knees together.

Mark flinches slightly and the blush rapidly fades out from his cheeks. “R-really?” He stammers.

“As games director!” Jackson exclaims. “He basically bought camp, so now he's paying the Ims a little more to keep it operating year-round, and he's going to organize some new themes and promotional stuff, and I'm going to live up there too. Once I graduate,” he nearly has to gasp for air. 

“If I want,” he adds on with a grin.

“Wow,” Mark says, smiling and nearly vibrating with relief. “You wanted to surprise me about that?”

“Isn't it great?” Jackson gushes, stroking up and down his legs. “Wilder is like less than an hour from here. I could come see you every weekend. You could come out whenever you wanted to run around the lake with me.”

Mark feels a wave of emotion crash over him, eyes welling up instantly. “What?” He whispers. “Next year?”

“Yeah!” Jackson says with a laugh. “Why do you look so shocked right now?”

“I just didn't—!” Mark stops to breathe deeply for a moment. “Jaebum and Jinyoung already told me that,” he admits, and Jackson looks disappointed. “Just that JYP was offering you a job. But I was kind of nervous because, you hadn't said anything yet even though we talked about it.”

Jackson nods, smiling again. “It was hard not to tell you,” he says. “But I had to wait, I needed to say it to you in person.”

“Jackson,” Mark says softly, running a hand through his hair. He feels his fingers tighten at his knee. “I can't believe you're already thinking about visiting me next year. We're not even dating.”

Jackson's face falls a little bit, shifting into a serious expression as he seems to contemplate this for a moment. “Honestly,” Jackson starts, and then has to clear his throat.

Mark feels his fingers digging into his kneecap a little harder, feels the crescent shape of his nails in his skin. The tension of the moment lives there, crackling where they touch.

“Honestly, that's news to me,” Jackson says, frowning. “Because I've been thinking, I'm completely yours.”

Mark's face softens, staring into his bright, earnest eyes. “Mine?” He whispers.

Jackson nods, hands slipping up the legs of his shorts slowly, brushing into the soft hairs that spring up along Mark's thighs. “Completely,” he repeats, suddenly nuzzling his face into his lap.

Mark inhales sharply, legs going tense as Jackson rubs his face between them, nose and lips dragging into his clothed cock and startling it to life. He kisses along his upper thighs and repeats his motions.

“Jackson,” he says in a groan. “You don't have to—!”

Jackson looks up from beneath his long lashes at him, settling his mouth around the swell in his lap. Mark lets out a shaky noise as it warms through the thin jersey of his basketball shorts quickly, already feeling damp in his briefs from the hot breath.

They haven't gotten very far, being apart. They've had a few phone calls that ended hot and breathless, both of them describing touching themselves. Mark can't deny he's felt frustrated, on edge. This is a little sudden, but it's not unwelcome.

“But I want to,” says Jackson, “Mark, can I please?” The begging tone in his voice is erotic, and his lips shift the fabric around Mark's dick. It sends a shot of adrenaline through Mark and he exhales shakily, feeling himself swell up immediately.

Jackson draws back to tug the shorts and underwear down and off Mark’s legs.

Mark's erection seems to answer for him, curving up hard and aching, engorged and begging to be touched. It twitches, inches from Jackson's face. With heavy-lidded eyes, he still waits for Mark's response.

Mark nods, and Jackson drags the front of his face along the base of his dick in one swift, hot swipe. Nose, lips and chin tickle up the shaft, until he crests over the top and sucks down all at once.

Mark struggles to keep his hips still, giving one distressed buck into the wet heat of Jackson's mouth and then immediately apologizing. Jackson shakes his head as he pops off and then licks delicately at the tip for a moment. 

“Don't hold back,” he says, voice hoarse. He sinks his head down again and Mark cries out, dipping forward. Jackson looks up and locks eyes with him, takes Mark’s hands off his bed and places them around his own neck.

Mark cradles his head and thrusts forward gently, keeping eye contact. Jackson’s lashes flutter as he lets him bottom out, tears sparkling at the corners of his eyes. Mark watches as he continues to move slowly in and out of his mouth, rubbing the nape of his neck in slow, small circles.

Jackson hums around him, and Mark whimpers, hips twitching but trying to be gentle. As his pace increases, Mark keeps whining, desperate for release but still holding back, not wanting to get rough.

Jackson makes a low noise deep in his throat, and gets up to press Mark back against his bed, dragging him across the breadth of the bed and prying his knees up and apart. He dips over him, bobbing forcefully up and down his length. 

Mark shudders and moans, hiding his face in embarrassment. He doesn't want to admit how much he enjoys Jackson taking control.

The submissiveness he displayed at first was alluring. But the grip on his arms as he dragged him, the way he yanked his knees apart to return to Mark's cock, and the brutal pace he sets—like he's starved for it, sends Mark straight over the edge.

Jackson pulls off as he feels Mark start to shoot, draws back and lets him come on his face. He hovers above his lap, eyes bright, lashes glistening and breathing heavy. He licks his lips clean.

Mark flushes deeply, a little ashamed of how much the sight turns him on. He sits up again and reaches across his bed to retrieve a tissue from his desk, helps clean up Jackson's face before cradling it in his hands and kissing him deeply.

“Thank you,” Mark says against his lips.

Jackson lets out a soft puff of a laugh and climbs up onto the bed beside him. “You don't have to thank me,” he says. “I wanted to.”

He kisses him and doesn't resist as Mark's soft hand creeps into his pants.

Mark twists and tugs deftly, confident in his long fingers and their talents. Soon, Jackson is panting harder, digging fingers into Mark's hair and kissing him back with more teeth and a desperate, probing tongue.

Jackson comes with a cute yelp, hiding his face in Mark's neck. One leg lifts a little as he shudders, his smile going utterly goofy. Mark thinks absently of puppy dogs and sunshine, and Jackson flops onto his back on the bed, arms spread wide and grinning.

Mark realizes he's excited to see all the different sides of Jackson, from the pretty boy who rubbed his face in his lap, to the strong young man who pressed him back into the mattress, and now this silly strung out smile. Mark wants to find out how all of his pieces fit with his.

“I wanted that so much,” Jackson repeats. “Thank you.”

Mark laughs, and then goes flustered again as he becomes very self-conscious as he's pantless with a handful of Jackson’s cum. He reaches for another tissue to wipe off his hand and tugs his big sweatshirt down over his bottom and curls into Jackson’s side, content for the time being.

“Really I meant, thank you for being mine,” says Mark after a moment. “For thinking we’ll last so long.”

“Why wouldn't we?” Jackson murmurs, wrapping his arm around him. 

“You know I've been with a lot of guys,” whispers Mark, biting a nail. “None of them have stuck around.”

Jackson is quiet for a moment, rubbing Mark's shoulder. “None of them were me,” he says. “I'll stick. I’m totally stuck. I’m very sticky, Mark.”

Mark laughs until he’s breathless, burying his face into his chest.

  
//

  
The next week starts in a blink of an eye, and Jinyoung is flustered to find that university classes don't slow down for personal events. Time keeps overwhelming him, and he's suddenly mid-term with a boyfriend and he wonders what else will change.

Walking across campus with his supplies, he eyes people shyly, wondering if he looks different. Does he glow? Would people guess that he has a boyfriend? He's just another freshman out here, he thinks playfully, but _secretly_ he and Jaebum are the pheromone whirlwind of Hall B. 

Jinyoung can't stop smiling as he considers it, thumping his oversized portfolio against his knees and swinging his bag beside him on the way to his locker. _Campus couple_ , he sing-songs in his mind. Passing students dodge out of his range, nervous about the bulky bags.

 _That's right_ , thinks Jinyoung with relish, _make way for a taken man_. 

Jinyoung eyes the dance studio doors with a silly smile, finally turning and working out his combination so he can stuff his things into his locker.

A rush of voices spike behind him, and Jinyoung turns to peek over his shoulder. He drinks in the familiar sight of a sweaty, smiley Jaebum, laughing loudly with his classmates.

Jinyoung angles his portfolio the wrong way and slams his fingers between the clipboard and the metal edge of the locker. He hisses in pain and has to turn back to wriggle it properly into place. Jinyoung finally shuts the door with a sigh and turns back around to see Jaebum has spotted him.

Jinyoung grins, ducking his head and then waving, but Jaebum stares across with an expression that’s just naked surprise. Jaebum finally ambles over, an eagerly waving Jimin following beside him.

“This is yours?” Jaebum nods at the locker.

“The ones by the art building always get snatched up too fast for freshmen,” Jinyoung says pluckily, and twist his fingers in and out of the strap of his bag nervously. Jimin’s smiling eyes make him self conscious. Does he look too obviously smitten? Is he thinking they look good or bad together? Jinyoung bites his lip and tries to focus on Jaebum’s expression, which is still difficult to read.

“Did you know…” Jaebum starts, voice wavering, and he gestures at the studio behind them.

“I heard you once,” Jinyoung admits, unsure why he’s embarrassed to admit it. “I wasn’t um,” he glances at Jimin shyly. “I wasn’t really ready to talk to you.”

Jaebum frowns, looking deeply concerned.

“Jinyoung-ssi,” Jimin says warmly, “Hobi hyung said you and Jaebum hyung have gotten pretty domestic. I didn’t even know you two _knew_ each other!”

“We met at your graduation party,” Jinyoung admits, blushing. Jaebum looks a little stiff and Jimin glances between them with a surprised expression.

“Wow, no kidding?” Jimin exclaims. “That night was wild, our housekeeper said somebody even flooded my parents’ bathroom. Personally, I can’t remember anything after losing the first round of beer pong.”

Jinyoung flushes deeper, covering his smile with a hand and avoiding his eyes. “Sounds crazy,” he agrees.

“Still, that wasn’t that long ago,” Jimin says, eyes going wide. “You two got close fast, huh?”

“I’m sure Hoseok has exaggerated quite a bit!” Jinyoung insists, waving his hand. Jaebum nods, pressing his lips together tightly.

They all nod at each other awkwardly for a moment, and Jinyoung regrets gloating for even a moment about having a boyfriend. This attention isn’t particularly glamorous, he realizes, and Jaebum is already acting strange.

“I have to get to my next class,” says Jaebum suddenly, and nods goodbyes at both of them. Jinyoung feels his chest tighten as he watches him walk away, wishing he could read his mind.

“You two look really good together,” Jimin says gently, his smiling eyes feeling warm.

Jinyoung shivers a little in surprise, and then feels very grateful. “Thank you,” he whispers, and saying goodbye isn’t as awkward as he feared.

 


	13. withholding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! Thinking the next chapter will be the last. If I can manage writing it… In the meantime, enjoy a little bit of merciless teasing.

 

“Is everything okay?” Jinyoung asks quietly, a few days later. It's been easy to avoid each other a little during the week, acceptable since both of them had several back-to-back exams. But now it's Friday, and Jinyoung wants to resolve it – or at least probe, depending on how honest Jaebum wants to be.

“I’m okay,” Jaebum says. Jinyoung stares across at him skeptically, and Jaebum looks embarrassed to be caught in a lie.

They're on Jaebum's bed, backs against the wall, sharing the duvet and body warmth while they study. Jaebum's room doesn't seem to be fully insulated, so it's not always the most comfortable place as the nights start to get colder later in fall. But it's much more quiet than Jinyoung's room, and with a few adjustments, it feels cozy. 

Jaebum sighs, running a hand through his messy hair. It’s getting long, Jinyoung thinks, and he has an urge to tie it up into pigtails.

“Why did you avoid me?” Jaebum asks, voice low. His eyes are downcast, looking at the flashcards in Jinyoung’s lap instead of his face. “Back when you first heard me by your locker.”

Jinyoung gnaws on his lower lip and looks down as well, feeling a little frustrated. “Because I was a mess,” he says. Jinyoung breathes shakily for a moment as he can feel the burn of it in his heart again. “I left Wilder feeling… _wrecked_.”

Jaebum’s eyes shift, and Jinyoung knows he feels guilty, doesn't want to torture him. But he has to be honest.

“Because hearing your voice was a reminder of how painful it had been to have you completely ignore me when I left camp. Because you were _laughing_ ,” and Jinyoung’s tight voice falters here for a moment. He clears his throat and sighs.

“Because you sounded like absolutely _nothing_ had happened, while I was still hung up. It made me feel stupid. I was even dissecting why you were calling me, confusing me all over again and you were just laughing.” Jinyoung finds it within himself to look up at him again.

Jaebum looks ashamed. “I’m sorry,” he says hoarsely. “For hurting you. I didn't think of it being so much worse for you. I was distracted the whole time, it wasn't the same for me.” 

“You weren't _distracted_ ,” Jinyoung says gently, “to be concerned with your family when they're fighting isn't… a distraction. It's the biggest part of your life. I understand, I'd have the same priorities.”

“I didn't have to wait so long, though,” Jaebum says. “But by that point, I was nervous. So I waited a little more. Honestly, I was glad you didn't pick up. I waited until right before my class started, so I'd have an excuse to hang up if it was too weird.” 

Jinyoung clicks his tongue in playful disapproval. “And _you're_ upset with _me_ for being too scared to approach you.”

“I'm not upset,” says Jaebum. “I just got confused. I wanted to see you so bad, and I approached you right away when I saw you. So I guess I thought, if you _felt_ the same, you would've done the same.”

Jinyoung nods his head slowly. “I _wanted_ to see you,” he says. “I just didn't think I could handle it.”

Glancing across at him now, Jinyoung notices Jaebum still looks stiff, gazing down at the blanket and picking at a seam.

“Are you feeling better?” Jinyoung wonders.

“I understand now,” Jaebum says. “But.” He makes a pained face as he seems to consider his words carefully.

“Do you think we’re moving too fast?” He asks.

Jinyoung shuffles his flashcards, heaving a sigh. “Of course,” he responds immediately.

Jaebum looks seasick, lost for words.

“But so what?” Jinyoung continues. “It's just the way it has been for us. We didn’t think we had much time — _any_ of the times.”

Jaebum nods, pressing his lips together tightly like he’d done in the hallway the other day. Jinyoung wants to pry his lips apart.

“Is it really _so bad_?” Jinyoung asks, feeling quite self-conscious.

Jaebum nearly gasps as he opens his mouth, shaking his head and looking across at him with desperately sincere eyes. Jaebum quickly takes his hand in his. “No,” he insists. “It’s not bad going fast with you. At all. I just feel... guilty I guess.”

“For what?” Jinyoung wonders, stroking the back of his hand.

“Well — you said you weren’t even ready to _talk_ to me,” says Jaebum. “You weren’t ready to talk and then I, then we sort of talked about everything all at once, and then I fucked you all weekend, like some kind of horny teenage monster.”

Jinyoung smirks at him slightly. “Jaebum,” he says slowly, “we _are_ horny teenagers. Both of us. I wanted you too.”

“But I just assumed, we would go out. We would be together. We would fuck all the time. I didn't even ask.”

Jinyoung gazes across at him for a moment, surprised by how preoccupied Jaebum seems to be. “I wanted to,” says Jinyoung finally, nodding. “I still want to.”

“What do you think would happen,” Jaebum says, shifting closer. “If we stopped having sex?”

Jinyoung blinks at him, stomach dropping. “You don’t want to have sex with me anymore?”

Jaebum flushes, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. “Of _course_ I want you. I just mean, maybe we should _try_ and go… a little slower. What if that’s all we’re thinking about? And you don't like me, and don’t want me to fold your laundry and take you out for dinner at all?”

Jinyoung feels himself start to pout. “Are you trying to get out of taking me out for meat tonight too?” He snaps. “You promised. You’re not allowed to wear that bracelet until you do.”

“No!” Jaebum laughs, reaching out and gripping his arm. “Of course I'm going to. But that’s _all_ ,” he says. “Maybe we should just try being together for a week or so, without being... intimate.”

Jinyoung’s heart is beating loudly in his ears as he playfully pouts and pull away from him, but he lets Jaebum gather him up in a tight embrace and they laugh together. Jaebum slowly releases him, touching his hair delicately as he withdraws, and Jinyoung wonders.

“We can try,” he says finally, although his stomach is twisting and turning anxiously inside him. He's scared that Jaebum might be right - but that maybe it's Jaebum who doesn't like him much at all, except for one thing.

He's also scared that Jaebum is so willing to test their relationship, so early on. Did Jinyoung not seem committed enough? Had he handled things poorly in front of their friends?

Still, he doesn't want to stop seeing Jaebum. Not now, not ever.

So he takes his hand again and smiles, and hopes it will be worth it.

  
//

  
Jinyoung expects it to be simple, but admittedly, he didn't think it through. 

When he wakes up early that Saturday to Jaebum’s morning wood pressing firmly into his ass, he sighs. The thin material of his pants does nothing to shield him from Jaebum’s complete nakedness, and he can feel the ridge of the head of his cock as it brushes beneath his balls.

Jinyoung is hard too, and he pouts into the darkness for a while as he tries to ascertain whether he will be able to go back to sleep or not. It doesn't seem to be from a full bladder, instead a response to Jaebum's embrace. 

Jaebum sniffles in his sleep, and burrows his face further into his shoulder, which would be cute if it wasn't paired with a wriggle of his hips against Jinyoung’s. Jinyoung bites his lip and tries to resist grinding back.

He feigns sleep for as long as he can, finally sitting up and shuffling around the dimness of Jaebum’s small room to look for his shoes. He gathers his bag quietly, intent on leaving until Jaebum reaches out and tugs his wrist.

“Where’re goin?” Jaebum slurs. “S’Saturday.”

Jinyoung huffs, holding his bag in front of his crotch. “I want to shower,” he says.

“Too early,” Jaebum checks his phone with one eye open.

Jinyoung bites his tongue, wants to blurt out that he's running away from Jaebum's dick to keep their deal. “I’m hard,” he admits, quietly.

“Me too,” says Jaebum, and he tugs him back to the edge of his mattress, stripping his bag away from him and onto the floor. “It'll go down. Come back.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes but complies, sliding back under the warm cover, face to face and whining as Jaebum defiantly wraps a leg around his waist. Their cocks inadvertently brush, and Jinyoung glares even as Jabeum’s eyes are peacefully shut again.

Jaebum’s breathing eventually evens out but Jinyoung can't go back to sleep, just as he feared. Instead, every soft rise and fall of Jaebum's chest frustrates him, and he feels his heartbeat pulsing in his dick, twitching in the warm zone between their thighs.

It's going to be a long week.

  
//

  
Jaebum invites him to eat lunch with his dance friends on Monday. Jinyoung is nervous, for a mixture of reasons. But he's certain he’ll know at least some of them, so it should be survivable.

Sure enough, Jimin, Taehyung and even Hoseok are assembled, along with several other boys and girls he doesn't recognize. Jinyoung nods his greetings to the group, cheeks flushing as Jaebum grips his hand and tugs him down next to him.

“This is Jinyoung,” says Jaebum, “he’s in Art History.” He then rattles off everyone's names and majors. Jinyoung catches a handful and tries to match them with faces.

Someone else mentions an upcoming dance exhibition, and Jinyoung watches, stomach flip-flopping as Jaebum nods and they start discussing auditioning. Jinyoung turns back to his bag and unpacks his lunch, trying to calm his nerves.

“He's Jaebum's _boyfriend_ ,” blurts out Hoseok, and when Jinyoung peeks up in surprise, he sees him glaring across the table at Jaebum. “You didn't introduce my roomie properly, hyung!”

There are a few _ooh_ s from farther down the table, and Jinyoung can feel his ears go hot and red. He’s embarrassed, but he gathers himself up with his best whiskered smile, leaning slightly toward Jaebum.

“They're _cute_ ,” a girl squeals.

“Wait a minute, wasn't Jaebum sleeping with that girl who gives us free coffee?” A boy asks. 

“She just likes him,” says Jimin quickly, shaking his head at Jinyoung. 

“I thought he was hooking up with Minji,” says an older boy Jinyoung thinks might be named Yixing. 

“ _Last_ year,” Hoseok clarifies, patting Jinyoung's hand across the table.

 “Weren't you _engaged_?” Asks Taehyung. The table goes quiet.

“Not anymore,” Jaebum says, with a tight laugh.

Audition talk resumes shortly, and Jinyoung focuses on peeling a hard-boiled egg, face flushed. As always, reminders of Jaebum's straighter conquests make him feel uneasy, as he's never met that version of Jaebum. 

But it's not hard to imagine, which makes Jinyoung all the more self-conscious. And if Jaebum is used to lots of action with different girls, who's to say he won't grow bored of his first experiment with one boy? Especially when they've taken sex out of the equation.

“ _Jinyoung-ssi_ ,” whispers one of the girls after a moment. “How _is_ he?”

Jinyoung pauses, mouth full of egg. Hoseok actually reaches all the way across Jimin to hit the girl lightly on the arm. She giggles and looks a little embarrassed, but they all turn to him for a response. Salty Jinyoung is tempted to tell her to ask Minji, but he doesn't want to give the impression that he's insecure.

Instead, he takes his time carefully chewing and swallowing his bite, hand demurely over his mouth. 

“Thankfully, better than you’d think,” Jinyoung finally offers, with a playful raise of his eyebrows.

Jimin covers up a smile but Hoseok outright laughs, clapping gleefully. There are other appreciative titters down the length of the table as it bursts back into conversation, more of Jaebum's friends teasing him.

“I mean look at those tiny hands!” Hoseok yelps, reaching across to grab Jaebum but Jaebum yanks away before he can touch him, turning to stare at Jinyoung with a face that's an exaggerated mixture of surprise and betrayal.

Jinyoung primly continues to eat his lunch, but he feels the heat of Jaebum's glances throughout the rest of the meal.

When the group disperses later, Jaebum cheerfully waves to his friends to go on ahead, as he grips Jinyoung's forearm tightly. Once his classmates are out of sight, he drags Jinyoung around a corner of a building, shoves him against the wall and glares. Jinyoung drops his textbook.

“What was that about?” Jaebum murmurs, pressing himself into Jinyoung's space, breath hot on his cheek as his face draws close. 

Jinyoung quivers, body naturally reacting to the intimidation but trying to keep an unaffected face. “I was _just_ teasing,” he says, making sure he's close enough so his lips brush Jaebum's cheek. 

“I mean,” Jinyoung continues, “I can't exactly tell them you’re _fixated_ on cramming me full of your cum, can I?” He drags his mouth across Jaebum's ear, pressing a light kiss under the lobe. He feels Jaebum's entire body go tense.

Jaebum sighs shakily, raking his fingers down Jinyoung's sides. He twists his fingers into his jeans at the waistband, tugs Jinyoung's hips to meet his. Jinyoung struggles to hide a gasp.

“ _Teasing_ , huh?” Jaebum repeats, voice pitched low and rumbling in his chest, reverberating with Jinyoung's.

Jinyoung doesn't resist as Jaebum rolls his hips slightly against his, mind going blissfully blank as Jaebum's mouth descends to capture his own. Jinyoung can hear people passing - they're not in a hidden space. 

When Jinyoung moves his body to meet Jaebum's soft rolling motion, Jaebum chuckles against his lips. Abruptly, he pulls away, and with a polite little wave, he leaves Jinyoung flushed and breathing heavy, semi-aroused in his pants.

Jaebum clearly understands teasing, Jinyoung thinks as he picks up his book with an irritated sigh.

  
//

  
The week drags on, both of them on edge. They still sleep together most nights, ending up in each other's orbit naturally.

Wednesday night, Jaebum sprawls across Jinyoung's bed, head settled in his lap, grateful during school nights for the extra warmth of his room. It's not only better insulated, but Hoseok’s extra presence is warm as well, buzzing in and out of the room with plenty of unprompted small talk.

“You two have been too safe,” he says then, eying them suspiciously. 

Jinyoung has a huge art history volume spread open beside him, and he gently plays with Jaebum's hair in his lap as he reads. Occasionally he highlights sections, has a stack of blank flash cards ready to make as he goes.

Jaebum is curled in toward him, the warmth of his breath on Jinyoung's groin simultaneously comforting and feeling dangerous, but Jinyoung thinks Hoseok’s comment means they must be restraining themselves well.

“You're always fully clothed,” Hoseok points out. “I think I'm getting too comfortable in here — when will my eyes be assaulted again? Or are you getting it all done in Jaebum’s closet?”

Jaebum snorts, and Jinyoung shifts slightly, shaking his head at Hoseok. “Shouldn't you be grateful?” He points out.

Hoseok nods solemnly, a hand over his heart. “Thank you,” he says. “For exercising common decency.”

Hoseok gathers his gym bag and heads out for the evening, and Jaebum’s head shifts in Jinyoung's lap again.

Jinyoung digs his fingers into his scalp, attempting to still his movement as he refuses to look up from his readings.

“You're so cute,” Jaebum rumbles, his own book flopped shut as he stares up at him. “All wound up.”

“Please shut up,” says Jinyoung tightly.

Jaebum laughs, nuzzling forward into the creasing of Jinyoung's pants, and Jinyoung wriggles, before shoving his head out of his lap. “ _Stop_ ,” he hisses, turning and flopping onto his belly to face his open book.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum says into his ear, a hand running down his back. “Are you mad at me?”

“No,” Jinyoung growls, nearly ripping a page about obelisks in half.

“I was just _teasing_ ,” Jaebum repeats Jinyoung's own words back to him, as his hand cups around Jinyoung's round bottom.

Jinyoung doesn't resist a shudder than runs through him, heat pooling in his groin where it's pressed against his mattress as Jaebum roughly kneads his ass. 

“I'm well aware now,” Jinyoung gasps as Jaebum presses down hard, and his cock stiffens against the bed. “How much you like to tease.”

Jaebum eases up, running his hands down Jinyoung's tensed thighs. “I still like you,” he says softly. “Without the sex and when you're angry. I like you more and more.”

Jinyoung feels a guilty twist in his gut, and his irritation melts away with a sigh, rolling into his side and beckoning for Jaebum. Jaebum complies, cuddling into his embrace with a slightly smug smile. 

“I like you too,” Jinyoung says, face flushing as Jaebum slides a leg between his. Jaebum kisses him gently.

They continue to kiss until Jaebum has to swat Jinyoung's creeping hands away from his pants, and they both laugh. They eventually cool down enough to return to their readings, which is how a very cautious and thankful Hoseok finds them later.

  
//

  
Thursday, Jinyoung calls Youngjae. It's been weighing on his mind to ask him about his plans at Wilder – to tell him he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to.

“ _Jinyoung hyung_!” His cheerful voice greets him, and Jinyoung shuts an eye as he winces and immediately lowers the volume on his phone.

“Hi, Youngjae,” Jinyoung chirps. “How are you doing?”

“Good,” says Youngjae, sounding a little breathless. “Appa and I are repainting the dining hall.”

“Oh, is it a bad time to talk?” Jinyoung wonders, checking his watch and marveling at how late it's getting.

“I was just about to take a shower and start on homework,” Youngjae says, “we’re finishing up this weekend. I've got time, hyung.”

“I just was wondering what you were up to,” Jinyoung says awkwardly. “Jaebum mentioned you'd talked to your dad about um, taking over at camp and stuff.”

“I'm so excited!” Youngjae says, “I know there's a while to go, but I was just… I can't imagine working somewhere else, you know?”

“Are you sure?” Jinyoung hums. “I mean just because you haven't experienced other things…”

“Hyung,” says Youngjae, and his tone is almost scolding. “I know why you're worried about me. I know you think I'm just doing this to make my dad happy, but honestly — it makes me happy too.”

Jinyoung stays quiet for a moment, a little embarrassed to have been seen through so clearly. “I'm glad,” he says quietly. “Honestly I am.”

“Jaebum has always been excited about stuff like — photography and guitar and dance. And how other people are doing those things in other places. Whenever I got excited about things,” Youngjae explains, “I thought about how fun it would be to do them at camp. That's how I started singing, and how I started woodworking…”

Jinyoung smiles and stays quiet, heart clenching at the thought of Youngjae being so satisfied. 

“Hyung, it's going to be so great. And I get to work with JYP and Jackson!”

“That does sound pretty fun,” Jinyoung says with a laugh.

“How are you? Is college crazy? I heard from Jaebum you two ended up at the same school! Are you getting married yet?” Youngjae rattles on.

“ _Yah_ ,” Jinyoung snaps. “We’re just… dating. Classes are hard but I'm keeping up.”

“Wait, officially? Or still in public showers?” Youngjae has the nerve to ask.

“Youngjae,” Jinyoung growls. “Regular, normal dating.” For them, public shower sex is normal, he rationalizes.

“Okay, hyung,” Youngjae laughs. “Is it going well? Is he treating you kindly? I can have a word with him if not, you know.”

Jinyoung laughs loudly at the image of Youngjae trying to be stern with Jaebum, as kind of an offer as it is. “Thanks,” he says. “I think we’re doing alright. We have been…” he trails off, unsure of how appropriate it is to vent to his boyfriend's little brother.

“What??” Youngjae presses.

“...We’ve tried to slow things down,” Jinyoung says.

Youngjae is silent for a moment. “Slow down? But, _why_?” He bursts. “You're already together.”

“Jaebum wants to be sure that we, you know. Really like each other.” Jinyoung admits, fiddling with his fingers.

“Uh,” Youngjae chuckles. “ _Of course_ you like each other? You broke up his marriage?”

“ _Youngjae_!!” Jinyoung shrieks, appalled. As if he didn't feel guilty enough. Youngjae's laughter quiets as he clearly falls away from his phone. It gets louder once again as he returns. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Youngjae gasps. “I'm kidding. But what is he worried about? He's so funny, I know he seems cool, but he can kinda overthink stuff.”  
   
“I've done my share of it, too,” Jinyoung admits, tiredly.

Youngjae hums, and they're quiet a bit longer. “Well don't think too hard,” Youngjae says softly. “Save that for school. _I_ know Jaebum likes you.”

“Thank you,” Jinyoung says, feeling deeply grateful. “Now get to your homework. Don't neglect your schooling just because you think you have your camp director job all lined up.”

Youngjae sighs loudly into the microphone. “Okay, hyung. Tell Jaebum hi!”

Jinyoung says his goodbye and presses a hand over his heart with a sigh. Even just talking to Youngjae on the phone makes his cheeks hurt from smiling.

  
//

  
Friday finally arrives, and Jinyoung resorts to anxiously waiting for Jaebum in his dorm, biting his nails. They agreed to a week on a Friday, so that means tonight is fair game — _right_? Jinyoung isn't certain, but his whole body hums in anticipation, every one of his muscles wound tight. 

Hoseok taps away at his phone, peeking up occasionally before huffing and tossing it aside. “What are you doing? Get up and get out already, your energy is driving me insane.”

“ _You_ get out,” Jinyoung mumbles half-heartedly, checking his own phone. Jaebum still hasn't texted that he's out of his last dance class.

There's a knock at the door and Jinyoung nearly trips off his bed. Hoseok shakes his head at him and goes to answer it instead, Jinyoung awkwardly gathering himself together.

“Can I help you?” Hoseok wonders, and Jinyoung peers around his shoulder to see who he doesn't recognize.

“ _Wonpil_?” Jinyoung gasps, as his old friend stands shyly smiling, arms full of food containers.

“Jinyoung-ah!” Wonpil exclaims, shuffling toward him. Jinyoung takes the sealed crock pot, and a few of the smaller boxes. It smells tantalizingly familiar.

Once they've set the food down, Wonpil sweeps him up in a hug, and Jinyoung laughs out his nerves and confusion. The nostalgic combination of food scents and Wonpil’s own makes him nearly tear up, thinking of high school nights at his home with he and Mark. 

Jinyoung pulls back to look at him fondly, and sure enough, Wonpil's grin is just like it used to be, gone slightly cross-eyed and so, so warm.

When they part, Hoseok is hovering over the food looking cartoonishly hungry, nostrils wide.

“Jinyoung!” He gasps. “You have different boys to do your laundry and bring you homecooked food?? What kind of witch are you?” He peels back a plastic lid to ogle some japchae.

“It's not mine, thankfully. It's from your mother,” says Wonpil, smiling large as Jinyoung opens the tub of kimchi just to smell it. “She called my mom and said she was going crazy with nobody to cook for. So she fed us all week and then sent me on a mission to feed you, when that wasn't enough.”

“Thank you,” Jinyoung says genuinely, smiling up at him, face still partly in the tub. 

He eyes Hoseok sticking a finger in a container and stands up abruptly to knock his hovering hand away. “At least use chopsticks,” Jinyoung groans, turning back to Wonpil with a sigh. “This is my roommate, Hoseok.” 

Wonpil waves, but turns back quickly. “How are you?” He asks, touching his elbow.

Jinyoung can't answer too honestly ( _stressed and horny_ ), so he sighs as he contemplates a better response. “A little overwhelmed,” he says, closing the jar and patting its lid. “It's a lot to adjust to? But I think I'm doing okay.”

Hoseok slurps at some noodles, back to eying Wonpil suspiciously. “Who's this?” He asks, mouth full. “Does Jaebum know about your other boyfriend?”

They ignore him. Wonpil doesn't flinch, but raises his eyebrows. “Jaebum's here? _Boyfriend_?” He repeats, a smirk forming.

Jinyoung shrugs, biting his lip to hold back an enormous smile.

“You two crazy kids worked it out?” Wonpil laughs. “Even with the arranged marriage and him being in the closet and everybody walking in on you two boinking like crazy?”

“Not _everyone_ has interrupted us,” Jinyoung says stiffly.

“I did!” Hoseok interjects. “I saw Jaebum's ass, _glowing_ under these exact energy-efficient light bulbs,” he stares up at the ceiling fixtures with a mournful sigh.

Wonpil laughs out loud, settling beside Hoseok and shaking his head. “They were using a bathroom stall when I found them,” he blurts out. “I thought it was a couple of campers just playing around - not two grown men who should know better.”

“We’re not _grown men_ yet,” Jinyoung says weakly, while Hoseok giggles. “We’re still… very young.”

“Anyhow, Jinyoung-ah, you have to show me around a little. Your mom will expect a report.” Wonpil says, stretching out his long legs. 

Jinyoung remembers his earlier circumstances. “Oh,” he hums. “Are you wanting to stay the night?” He hopes it doesn't sound too reluctant.

“I have to teach piano first thing in the morning,” Wonpil says, a sly smile spreading and Jinyoung wonders if he’s somehow read his mind. “So I'll probably have to leave tonight if I want to survive a child plonking around on the ivories at nine.”

Jinyoung smiles softly at the image. He's always been envious of Wonpil’s musical ability, has admired how quickly it translated into teaching. It does feel good to see him, regardless of timing.

Jinyoung's door swings open then, and everyone looks up at once, to see a tired-looking Jaebum with wet hair. He stares for a moment at Wonpil, looking comfortably settled. Wonpil waves at him, and Jaebum gives him a nod and a strange smile, eyes darting to Jinyoung's quickly in question.

Jinyoung feels inexplicably nervous, shifting the containers around on his desk. “Jaebum, my mom sent some food up with Wonpil,” he says. “Have you eaten?”

Jaebum nods, stepping over to look at the assortment anyhow, and then abruptly moving to grab Jinyoung's hand and squeeze it in greeting. 

Jinyoung blushes, almost more embarrassed by this display of innocent affection than when both other boys caught them in the throes of passion. He's not sure why it feels more intimate.

“Wonpil wants to look around campus a bit. Are you up for it?” Jinyoung asks.

Jaebum smiles, but it's a little stiff, his lips hidden. “If you want,” he says. “I have a surprise for you later, actually. Sorry I didn't text, I got out of class late, and then I smelled really bad…”

Jinyoung goes pink thinking about what a surprise would entail. “That's fine,” he says, and their eyes meet, a spark going off between them. They don't say anything for a long moment, Jinyoung just drinking in the sight of him. 

Wonpil clears his throat, and they both turn back to the others. Hoseok slurps his noodles loudly. Jinyoung sighs and stacks his mother's food up, yanking the noodles away from Hoseok on his way to hurriedly packing it in their smelly mini fridge.

“Let’s go,” he says cheerfully, and Wonpil bounces up with a smile to walk beside him. Jaebum trails behind, quiet.

They show Wonpil the campus, and some of the small town around it. It's quiet for a Friday night, bars sounding dim and sidewalks feeling wide open. They walk three across, and Jinyoung feels self conscious about sharing his night with both of them.

Still, Jaebum seems to understand, listening politely as Wonpil runs through the latest gossip from their neighborhood, while Jinyoung catches him up on Mark’s love life, and they all chuckle together as they pilfer beers from a frat party closer to the dorms. They sprawl out on a stretch of grass in front of the house. 

“I can't believe he’s paired up with Jackson,” Wonpil gasps. “He's a great guy but they're so _different_. I would have thought Mark would just be annoyed.”

“I think they fit into each other, louder or quieter,” says Jinyoung. “Like whoever needs what. And together they end up balanced.”

Wonpil smiles, scrunching his face up as he considers it. “Cute,” he agrees.

He glances sidelong at Jinyoung and Jaebum, who's curled up, resting his head against Jinyoung's thigh again. His hair has dried straight and natural into a bit of a mushroom shape, and Jinyoung can't help but secretly think he looks younger and uncharacteristically sweet.

“And you’re happy too?” Wonpil asks, and Jinyoung and Jaebum both look up in surprise at how blunt the question feels. 

“Just checking,” Wonpil whispers. “You know your mother wouldn't forgive me if I didn't find out.”

They're quiet a moment longer, Jaebum swishing a mouthful of beer around. 

Jinyoung lets out a deep sigh. “I don't think I've ever really known,” he starts, voice unsteady. “I don't think I knew how happy I could be.”

Jaebum looks pleased but curious, and Wonpil watches him, as always, with a naked expression of admiration.

“Even when I'm so busy, and so overwhelmed, and everything is new… to still have one thought that can make everything brighter,” Jinyoung babbles, glancing with a frown at the can in his hand, a little bit accusatory.

“It's unreal,” he finishes, looking down at Jaebum, and his other hand drags through Jaebum's soft, straight bangs with a shaky, wound up energy. Jaebum holds his gaze steadily, eyes shining bright under the yellow streetlights.

When Jinyoung looks up, Wonpil looks almost embarrassed, like he's interrupted them again. Jinyoung faintly regrets being too open, tries to smile at him.

“I should get going,” Wonpil says politely.

“Are you sure you don't want to stay? And just leave early?” Jinyoung asks, guilt eating away at his gut. He can feel Jaebum's suddenly stern eyes on his face.

“I’d never survive work if I do that,” Wonpil says. “Those kids can sense weakness. And traffic will be better now, anyways.”

Jinyoung isn't sure about that, but he nods anyway as they gather themselves up and walk Wonpil back toward campus and the visitor lot. Wonpil squeezes his hand, as Jaebum gives them some distance.

“Will I see you at the first winter Teen Camp?” Wonpil asks. “Jackson mentioned it’ll be a weekend in early December. I think I want to try counseling.”

“I’ll have to check when exams are through,” Jinyoung says, but feels a spark of excitement at the idea of seeing Wilder in the wintertime. “But if Jaebum goes, I'll probably have a ride.”

Wonpil nods, staring at him again. He then heaves a sigh and grins, wrapping him into a tight hug. 

“If anything ever goes wrong,” says Wonpil in his ear, “or even if you just need another hand with anything. Let me know.”

Jinyoung is grateful, tugging him close and nodding fervently.

Once he's driven away, Jinyoung turns back to Jaebum, a little bashful, to find him watching with a mixed expression. Jinyoung doesn't expect him to warm up too much to Wonpil any time soon, but he's grateful that Jaebum takes none of the awkward tension out on him. Jaebum seems to understand their dynamic as being separate from their own.

Jinyoung presses into his side, trying to find his hand. He dips into Jaebum's coat pocket to hold it, warm and cozy in the thick fabric. “You said you had a surprise,” Jinyoung reminds him.

Jaebum's eyes light up as he remembers, digging their hands out of his pocket and dragging him back to their residence hall. “I almost forgot,” he admits.

Jaebum lets him into his tiny dorm and it feels a little less drafty than usual. There's a scent that's new, Jinyoung wrinkling his nose as he tries to place it. Jaebum drops his coat on his desk and then moves swiftly toward his closet, which is left ajar.

Jinyoung follows suspiciously, realizing slowly that the surprise is probably not a round of tantric sex, as he first assumed.

As he passes the foot of the bed he spies some new items: a space heater, which makes Jinyoung hum appreciatively, and a low tray, full of sand. This causes a frown as he slowly processes the image. Not sand. A litter box?

There's a teeny, tiny meow behind him and Jinyoung whirls around to see Jaebum sat cross-legged in front of his closet. Burrowed in his laundry basket is the smallest little black and tan kitten Jinyoung's ever seen, croaking sleepy greetings at him.

“ _What_?” Jinyoung breathes.

“There was a little hole in my closet,” Jaebum says. “I think it came from up off the overhang outside - there's a big tree that touches it. She came through and likes sleeping in here. I got the building staff to patch the hole so it's less drafty in here, but I didn't want to leave her outside this winter.”

Jinyoung blinks at the kitten, still in shock. The cat blinks back at him, its eyes enormous and startlingly blue. Jinyoung is not exactly a cat person, but has to admit this one is a beauty. “It looks like an expensive breed,” he wonders. “How can you be sure he's not somebody else's? And aren't pets prohibited?”

“She,” Jaebum corrects, reaching in and scratching under the kitten’s chin. “There's no collar and she was a little scruffy before I bathed her. I hid her from the staff while they made repairs. I think I can keep her a secret.” The kitten still watches Jinyoung with what looks like smug, crescent eyes, as if showing off how she's captured Jaebum's attention.

“I'm calling her Nora,” Jaebum says.

Jinyoung exhales, suddenly feeling exhausted. The tension of the week melted away over the evening, and now watching a yawning Nora curl up in a ball has him yawning back in response.

“So you got yourself a girlfriend after all,” Jinyoung mumbles, flopping down on the bed. “And here I was worried about all the ones your friends listed at lunch. You were living with a little lady right under my nose.”

Jaebum chuckles, shifting things around to position the space heater in the center of the small room and turning it on. He clambers over Jinyoung a moment later.

“You don't have anything to worry about,” he insists, nuzzling into his neck and peeling Jinyoung's coat off of him, only to be dismayed by his long sleeved sweater over a turtleneck. “So many layers,” he complains.

Jinyoung feels deeply lazy, flopping around passively as Jaebum drags clothing and shoes off of him. Once he's down to his t-shirt, Jinyoung wraps his arms around him and yawns loudly.

“Are you… too tired?” Jaebum asks, stilling in his embrace.

Jinyoung drowsily nods into his neck, nose brushing the prominent Adam’s apple. 

Jaebum huffs a sigh, but settles beside him without much more complaint. “I shouldn't have suggested we slow down,” he moans. “Now you'll never give it up again.”

Jinyoung snorts, drifting off as Jaebum draws the blanket up around them both. “Haven't I given you _enough_?”

Jaebum chuckles, leg slipping between Jinyoung's as usual. “I want a lot more,” he says softly.

“F’what?” Jinyoung mumbles, thinking he must be half in a dream already.

“Goodnight,” Jaebum says with a kiss to his cheek, letting his eyes shut.


	14. winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe this finally finished? Thank you guys so much for being so kind to me - I’ve never gotten such a positive reaction from my writing and it’s been such an incredibly rewarding time. Every weekend I looked forward to reading all your sweet comments and I felt really welcomed. Looking forward to writing something new soon!
> 
> Some trivia ~ when I first started writing this I came thiiiisclose to making it a wolf AU or something else supernatural. I ended up enjoying just writing regular JJP at regular camp enough, so I decided against it. Aren’t you’re all so lucky? Let me know if you have any other questions - I have a good amount of head canon and unsolved threads I couldn’t jam in here.
> 
> I’m sorry if this chapter drags at all, I was a little over-indulgent and it probably should have been two separate chapters. Oh well! Cheers~

 

 

  
Jinyoung wakes up to a sleepy moan, and immediately he feels Jaebum’s hardness pressing along his crack once more. Instead of frustration, he feels opportunity, and he's ready to seize it.

First, he yawns and stretches, arching his back and nuzzling back into Jaebum's neck. Jaebum murmurs and moans again in his sleep but doesn't quite stir. So Jinyoung grinds. 

He rocks himself back into Jaebum’s dick, feels it pry between his asscheeks. He presses harder, budging up against it, and slowly wraps an arm back so he can hang onto the back of Jaebum's neck. It's awkward, grinding sideways along the mattress like they're dancing at a club, but Jinyoung makes do.

He moves more vertically, pressing himself down Jaebum's front and back up, essentially gripping and stroking his erection with his ass.

He continues at this rhythm for a moment, because it's good for him too - the drag of his boxer shorts up and then down causes them to tighten and then release, bunching up and rubbing his own cock.

Jaebum wakes abruptly, and after a brief moment of confusion moves his hands to grip the front of Jinyoung's thighs. He presses them harder back against himself, while he rocks forward and pivots his hips to shove in deeper. Jinyoung's shorts are thin, bunching up and up, and Jaebum's bottomless, the skin of his dick sliding velvet and warm between Jinyoung's thighs.

Jinyoung whimpers in question, wondering if this is finally happening, if he’ll finally feel full again. He lets his arm fall, clutches at the sheets on Jaebum’s bed. Jaebum drags a hand up his chest, delicately tickling along his neck, his jaw, and then lets his fingertips play with Jinyoung's thick lips.

Jinyoung kisses at them, making desperate little noises, and Jaebum slides them into his mouth. His other hand curls around the inside of Jinyoung’s thigh, shifts to palm at his hardness as he continues to buck from behind. 

Jinyoung is worked up, suckling Jaebum’s fingers in his mouth as he curls forward and grinds into Jaebum’s hand.  

Jaebum pulls hips slightly back, breathing heavy, but he continues to fist at the tent in Jinyoung’s shorts. He keeps thrusting his fingers into his mouth until saliva drips down over Jinyoung’s chin and into his palm. Jinyoung nearly bites down as he comes, jaw locking hard as he mewls in surprise at the release, back bowing forward as he wets his boxers and Jaebum’s clutching hand.

Jaebum peels the sticky shorts down Jinyoung's hips, slips his dripping fingers out from between his lips and moves to press them gently at his entrance. Wet and warm from Jinyoung’s own mouth, he slides one in and Jinyoung exhales shakily.

Jaebum lets out a matching hiss at the hot pressure. “So tight,” he mumbles into Jinyoung’s neck, voice still thick with sleep. “Didn’t you touch yourself at all, this week?”

Jinyoung moans, rocking against the finger slowly as he adjusts to the feeling that’s so foreign once again. “I didn’t want myself,” he says. “I wanted you.”

Jaebum groans against his earlobe, dipping another finger inside. Jinyoung mewls in discomfort, as the spit does little to help. “Lube,” he begs. Jaebum shuffles and reaches under his pillow, and the click of a bottle cap has never sounded so promising to Jinyoung before.

In another instant, he savors the cool sensation of gel aiding Jaebum’s fingers as they glide in much easier. Now, Jinyoung welcomes the thickness of two fingers and struggles to spread himself wider in their spooning position, angling his top thigh upward. Jaebum moves to grip it and helps hold it up, continuing to stretch him with his other hand. 

“Do you want to roll over, baby?” Jaebum asks, voice sounding silky. Jinyoung moans, nodding feverishly. “Which way do you want it?” Jaebum asks, and Jinyoung turns onto his stomach, propping himself up on his knees and elbows, spreading his thighs wide and angling his butt up for him.

Jaebum glides his hands reverently over the curve of each cheek, taking his time to admire the sight of Jinyoung splayed out and presenting himself. 

Jinyoung looks back at him with flushed cheeks, mouth still wet with spit. “Ple- _ease_ ,” he says, dragging the word out.

It’s taking entirely too long, Jinyoung thinks, cursing himself for being too tired last night to continue. Waking up consumed in a lusty haze feels particularly torturous. Before food, before washing his face, he needs this. And it’s taking too long.

Jaebum slides his fingers back into him, shuffling into position behind him, til Jinyoung can feel his sparse leg hairs as their thighs brush. He can feel his own hair standing on end, every pore of skin open, every nerve in his body igniting as Jaebum fingers him. 

It’s more rhythmic now, thicker with a third finger, but still decidedly gentle. Jaebum is always careful with him, wants it to be as pleasurable as it can be, and Jinyoung appreciates it, but it’s taking too damn long.

He pushes back against the fingers, forcing Jaebum to increase his pace, and Jaebum grunts in acknowledgement, hooking them to brush along his insides and add to the sensation. Jinyoung can feel his cock hardening again, ready for more.

“Please,” Jinyoung repeats, and he reaches back to spread his asscheeks wide, face dropping into the mattress. Jaebum’s fingers slip out of him with a startled noise as he stares down at the brash display. 

Jaebum can’t help but put his own hands over Jinyoung’s and kneads them down against himself. The jiggling motion of it makes Jinyoung feel even more feverish, arms falling away as he moans desperately into the sheets, feeling his stretched entrance gasping to be filled.

Jaebum slides into him suddenly, hands still kneading even as Jinyoung slides forward and cries out. He’s thick, so thick, and Jinyoung relishes the drag of his head along his sensitive insides as Jaebum draws back again. He slams back into him, and Jinyoung yelps, the exact pressure on his prostate feeling unreal. 

Jinyoung absently thinks that it feels so good to know someone sexually. To have someone understand him so intimately that they can make him fall apart so easily. And with just two, three thrusts he’s leaking precum again so quickly after having already come once into Jaebum’s hand.

Jaebum fucks him deep, the pace of it even and bruising, his grip on his waist tightening each time. He drives into him mercilessly, Jinyoung’s body rocking into the mattress as he scrambles against it, face nearly smothering into the sheets. 

He tries to move away with each thrust, tries to slow down his unraveling, but Jaebum holds him still, placing a hand down at his shoulders and pounding against his spot. Jinyoung feels skewered, hot and full and heavy in a haze of arousal.

“Missed this,” Jaebum says, staring down as he watches his length slide in and out of Jinyoung’s body. “Missed feeling like I was a part of you.”

Jinyoung sobs in response, too overwhelmed by sensation to find words. The bed creaks with each thrust.

Jaebum bends down against him, moves his other hand from his hip to grip and slide along Jinyoung’s dripping cock. “I want to feel you coming,” he whispers, tugging roughly. “Wanna feel that squeeze inside.”

Jinyoung whimpers, the arousal in his gut building still, his dick sliding warm in Jaebum’s hand, the insistent pressure on his prostate driving him over an indescribable edge, and he falls apart. 

With a strained shout, he feels like he’s exploding, cum spurting through Jaebum’s fingers and ass clenching tight. He bites into the sheets as he rides it out, each passing wave of pleasure nearly leaving him numb through and through.

Jaebum grunts, stumbling forward and thrusts going off rhythm from the sudden tightness. He finds his pace again, quicker this time, sliding fast and slick as his hips snap against Jinyoung’s pliant, relaxing form. Jinyoung gasps at the shift in speed, has to grip the edge of the mattress as the entire bed moves with Jaebum’s pounding.

Finally Jaebum cries out, chin digging between Jinyoung’s shoulder blades as he comes. Jinyoung feels the familiar warmth shooting inside him, the added squelching sound as Jaebum fills him with cum and keeps pounding through it until he’s too soft to stay in.

Both of them breathe heavy and loudly as they unlink, Jaebum collapsing beside him.

Jaebum shoves his hair up off his sweaty forehead, gasping for breath as he gazes down at Jinyoung. Jinyoung remains flat on his stomach, half of his face pressed to the mattress, blinking up at him with one glazed eye.

“Do you believe I like you?” Jinyoung asks, shifting up on an elbow.

Jaebum laughs softly, tracing a hand down his face. “You're all line-y from the sheets,” he says. 

Jinyoung bats the hand away, playfully pouting. “Do you?”

“I believe you,” Jaebum nods, wrapping his arms around him and rubbing his shoulders.

“Then let’s not test it again,” says Jinyoung. 

“We’ll give it some time,” Jaebum says with a smirk. “Maybe you'll ask _me_ for a break next time.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes, pressing his face against Jaebum's clammy skin, enjoying the warm smell of him, the hint of salt from the sweat. He thinks, nervously, how he never wants to take a break. Of any kind. 

Jaebum draws the blanket back over them as they both shiver slightly, and the sleepy mood of dawn settles back over them both.

A creaky meow resounds beside the bed then, and Jinyoung glances to see Nora’s tiny form, standing with her paws against the bed frame and trying to see up into the bed.

“Do you allow this?” Jinyoung wonders, amused. “She looks like she’ll shed a lot.”

“Of course — help her up!” Jaebum insists, pressing Jinyoung toward the edge with a hint of distress. Jinyoung sighs and retrieves the kitten with one hand, easily plopping the fuzzy bundle between them. 

“Little legs,” Jaebum whispers, itching Nora behind her ears. “Little legs can't jump up high yet.” 

Jinyoung tries not to snort at how soft his voice has gone, at how smitten he already seems, but he doesn't want to tease him yet. There's something appealing about seeing him so easily enamored, so openly nurturing. It tugs at a place in Jinyoung's heart he didn't know would be awakened yet, where he can't help but think about Jaebum as a doting father.

Nora is purring as soon as she touches the blanket, pacing around in a circle atop their warm forms before settling into the valley between their torsos. She crosses her paws primly and shuts her eyes.

The three of them bundled up together makes Jinyoung feel inexplicably satisfied, and he shuts his eyes for a moment as he tries to commit this warm feeling to memory. “Good timing, Nora,” he says quietly. “Any earlier and it would have been a little awkward.”

Jaebum chuckles in agreement, face close to Jinyoung's, a hand curled over his kitten.

It's easy to fall back asleep, wrapped up in contentment.

  
//

  
Time persists, and passes.

Again, Jinyoung thinks about how simultaneously scary and comforting the concept is - it's unstoppable, but it also helps move you along. He relies on this idea for reassurance when there are so many more exam. This time next week, he keeps thinking, he'll be past another hurdle.

But conversely, the thought makes him feel skittish, like something precious is constantly slipping away from him. He feels it when it's suddenly winter, and Nora is whining by the side of Jaebum’s bed.

He and Jaebum are studying side by side again, space heater humming and sharing several blankets. Jinyoung bends down to help her up, and nearly topples off the bed as he realizes she's gotten too long and wiggly to pick up one handed. 

Nora complains loudly at the insecure lift, spindly legs swinging and nails swiping desperately as Jinyoung hurries to remedy his grip with both hands. Once she's flopped onto the blanket she skitters to hide under Jaebum's elbow.

“When did she get so fat?” Jinyoung complains, pressing a finger over a scratch on his knuckles, and Nora sounds indignant as she meows from her safe spot.

“Park _Jinyoung_!” Jaebum scolds, but he's laughing, having enjoyed the clumsy scene. He wraps a protective hand around her bottom. “She's just eating regularly now. She's a growing kitten.”

Jinyoung pretends to glare suspiciously at Nora, who is grooming exuberantly to make up for the prior embarrassment of almost being dropped. “Gearing up for winter, I guess,” he teases.

Nora really seems like she's upset with him for a little while, before giving in and settling between them as usual. It's her favorite spot for maximum attention and because Jaebum's laptop vents all of its heat to that side.

Jinyoung delicately scratches her chin and it sets her purring, so he knows he's been forgiven.

“Speaking of winter,” Jaebum says, “Dara has been bugging me about us counseling next weekend. She said some of your campers were requesting you, specifically. Are you up for it?”

Jinyoung’s heart catches in his throat. He hasn’t thought about the possibility of winter at Wilder since Wonpil mentioned it, and the thought of his campers even remembering his name makes him proud. 

“Yes,” Jinyoung chokes out, suddenly sentimental, and then shuffles through his things to check in his planner. “My last exam is that Thursday, so it's perfect,” he says. 

Jaebum is smiling at him fondly when he looks up, his eyes gone soft and sentimental. “You'll love it,” he says. “I was always bummed after the board first cancelled winter programs. It's a totally different place.”

Jinyoung watches the way his eyes shine, nods and smiles encouragingly.

“My mom is really excited to see you again,” Jaebum adds casually, turning back to his work. Jinyoung's eyes widen in alarm, watching as his fingers breeze across his keyboard, no sign of having said anything important.

“ _What_ ,” says Jinyoung lowly.

“My mom,” says Jaebum, turning back to him and looking innocent. “I guess I told her you'd probably be coming back up, a while ago.”

“A _while_ ago,” Jinyoung repeats.

Jaebum looks mildly embarrassed, pausing in his writing. “I don't know, do you remember,” he says slowly, as if Jinyoung could have forgotten, “around that week that we took a break from having sex?”

“I do,” Jinyoung says, surprised. “What did you say?” 

Jaebum sighs, running a hand through his hair. “We just… we talked about _you_ ,” he says. “I told her how I felt about you, and how you were studying here and stuff.”

Jinyoung's face feels like it's on fire, wonders how in depth Jaebum has been about their relationship - what Mrs. Im could know by now. 

“Uh,” says Jaebum, and Jinyoung tries to figure out if he's embarrassed as well or is realizing how nervous Jinyoung is.

“I told her,” Jaebum starts slowly, again. “That we were, _are_ , you know — serious.”

Jinyoung blanches, gone from embarrassment to utter horror. “ _Jaebum_ ,” he whispers. “How serious?”

“Just,” Jaebum clears his throat. “I've known for a while that I really, really liked you so! It's just from my perspective, she won't expect anything from you. But she's been looking forward to seeing you again because she’s never heard me say some of that stuff.”

Jinyoung has been petting Nora compulsively, and the little cat finally mewls and swats lazily at him. 

“Okay,” he says shakily, and turns back to his own study materials. He can still feel Jaebum's searching eyes on his face. Jinyoung isn't sure what this meant, but it's clear he won't get any more answers from the other boy. 

His fingers stretch instinctively toward his phone, suddenly desperate to call Mark, to ask for a second opinion. 

Nora puts a paw over his twitching fingers, sniffing out their intentions. Jinyoung pulls back, deciding against it and goes back to gluing thumbnails of classical sculptures to flash cards.

  
//

  
Jinyoung finds himself packing hastily on Wednesday night, and he takes a moment to pause when he finds the instant photo Jackson had taken of his cabin on the last night. Jinyoung scans it quickly, smiling fondly at his campers, sleepy and hyper and everything in between. He’s excited to see them again and catch up. 

His phone buzzes from his bed, and he lunges across it to answer.

“Mark hyung,” he says tightly.

“Nyoung-ah,” Mark greets him, mouth clearly slurping noodles.

Jinyoung angles the phone away from his ear in distaste, cringing. “You could've finished your dinner,” he insists.

“I still have to pack too, and your text sounded _urgent_ ,” Mark says. “So come on, spill it.”

“His mom — he said his mom is _excited_ to see me again because he told her how he _feels_ about me and that it was _serious_ , and she'd never heard him _say_ some of it before,” Jinyoung gushes, and then hides his face in his pillow.

Mark sips loudly at his broth. “Okay,” he says. “And?”

Jinyoung yanks his face up, bewildered. “ _And_? What do you think he said?”

“He probably told her he loved you,” Mark says, punctuating it with another long slurp.

Jinyoung feels his chest seize. “ _Wh_ —?” The question doesn't quite make it out of his mouth.

“Is it that surprising? You've been together all semester already. And even before that,” Mark says, too calm for Jinyoung's liking, “you changed his whole world.”

Jinyoung sighs, biting his lip as he rolls slowly onto his back, heart racing. Staring up at his ceiling, he wonders. Does Jaebum love him? Is he ready for that?

“Wasn't I supposed to get bolder?” Jinyoung asks. “Try new things and get a little wild? I was having one night stands and going to parties. Isn't it too soon for me to just… settle down?”

Mark hums, and they're both quiet for a moment. “Isn't love wilder? Than anything else?” He finally asks.

Jinyoung can't respond for a long while, breath stolen away. 

  
//

  
Jinyoung's last exam passes by him in a blur. It's very quickly Thursday evening, and they're due to head out to Wilder. Once Jaebum has harassed Hoseok thoroughly about how to take care of Nora for the weekend, they set off.

Jaebum drives an old family truck, one that would fit right in at Wilder but looks a little out of place in the university parking lot. Still, Jinyoung loves the way Jaebum looks with it, in a suitably retro leather jacket over a thick hoodie, with tight, ripped jeans. 

Jinyoung shamelessly watches his thighs flex as he hops into the cab beside him, swallowing heavily.

“Don’t be nervous,” Jaebum tells him, misinterpreting his expression. “It’s old but reliable, and the heater will keep you nice and toasty. The tires are pretty new, and I’ve got chains.”

Jinyoung nods, smiling as they set off, Jaebum settling a hand on his thigh. It’s a longer journey than it was from his house, and Jinyoung finds himself dozing in and out. 

Once he settles on staying awake, Jinyoung fiddles with Jaebum's fingers on his thigh, peeling them off and sandwiching his hand between his own. It is nice and warm in the cab, he thinks absently.

He tries to focus on looking out the window, watching as the terrain changes with the altitude. Soft, flat plains build up quickly, hills morphing into ridges, little patches of stones becoming boulders, and suddenly, trees. And everything dusted lightly in snow, like powdered sugar on a donut. It's terribly picturesque, he thinks.

The woodiness that surrounds the roads up here makes Jinyoung suddenly quite nostalgic, remembering watching the sun filter through branches like this and light Jaebum up like he was stained glass. Jinyoung remembers the _want_ , the desperate pining and the bittersweet acknowledgment that he belonged to someone else.

At the time, it wasn't even so much Nayeon — Jinyoung was jealous but it became clearer throughout the week that she had no hold on Jaebum's heart. Instead, Jinyoung was certain that Jaebum’s deepest loyalties lay with his parents, and on some level, that he belonged to the camp.

Like the dining hall, or the canoes on the lake, Jaebum felt like property of Wilder, and Jinyoung was only free to enjoy him for the duration of his stay.

Now, Jaebum is free, and he chooses to stay beside Jinyoung. Gratefully, Jinyoung brings his hand to his lips, kisses the fingertips over and over.

Jaebum chuckles softly, trying to tug his hand back with some embarrassment. 

Jinyoung won't allow him. He watches with satisfaction as the other frowns in focus on the road, even as Jinyoung moves his mouth more slowly along his fingers, brushing down to each knuckle and back up, using two to drag his plush lips from side to side.

“What are you doing?” Jaebum is laughing.

Instead of responding, Jinyoung continues to watch him, as patchy, white winter light filters in and out of the truck cab. Jaebum's hair is tousled, his eyes shimmering, handsome and carefree. And Jinyoung wants him.

Jinyoung sinks his mouth down wholly over his fingertips, sweeping his tongue along their undersides.

Jaebum inhales sharply, glancing aside at him in surprise as his expression shifts from amusement to something curious. Jinyoung feels satisfied, the flicker of arousal in his gut being answered by Jaebum's sudden shift in his seat.

Jinyoung continues to suckle his fingers, dipping his head to let even his middle one graze the back of his throat, and Jaebum lets out a deep sound, tries to tug away again.

“Jinyoungie,” he murmurs, eyes nervously darting from the front to Jinyoung's lewd display and back. “It's dangerous.”

Jinyoung nods, releasing his hand and watching as Jaebum wipes it on the sinfully tight, distressed denim of his jeans. Jaebum in these _jeans_ , Jinyoung thinks deliriously, in this _truck_. The silvery sunlight peeking through the cloud cover lights up the woods around them and it's too much for him to resist his more primal side.

“Keep your eyes on the road,” Jinyoung says quietly, hoarsely, and then he slips out of his seatbelt and dips toward him.

“ _Jinyou_ –!” Jaebum starts to scold him, but Jinyoung’s fingers move too quickly, his head bending low, fingers popping open his straining jeans and it’s easy to move in close to his lap on this old bench seat. 

He has Jaebum in his grasp already, dick hardening with each stroke until it stands up, flush and ready. It’s a struggle to get Jaebum’s jeans enough out of the way to be comfortable, Jaebum wriggling and protesting, but Jinyoung manages.

He licks him, light and fluttering around the head and then down as he grips tightly at the base, before moving his whole head up and giggling slightly as he bumps into Jaebum’s elbow. Jaebum doesn’t find it as funny, whimpering and angling his arm up out of the way as he watches the familiarly winding mountain road. Jinyoung can feel they’ve already reduced their speed to a tentative crawl.

“This is _more_ dangerous,” he gasps, and Jinyoung sinks his whole mouth down over his erection.

It’s awkward, in such a confined space, but Jinyoung enjoys the burn that builds up in his neck from hunching over, enjoys the musky taste too much. Most of all, he enjoys the gasps and noises that Jaebum makes, responding to each flick of Jinyoung’s tongue out loud. 

It makes Jinyoung move more enthusiastically, spit building up around his lips as he slides them on and off, nuzzling the cock with his face. Jaebum mewls, and Jinyoung enjoys watching how his knuckles have gone white where his hands are clamped at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel.

Jinyoung grips him tightly, fist moving up as his mouth settles back down, deepthroating him slowly but steadily. He can feel the veins in Jaebum's length pulsing against his lips. He swallows around it.

Jinyoung feels the truck slow to a standstill, and Jaebum's elbow jostles him as he yanks the old gearshift into park and cuts the engine. Jinyoung pops off briefly, a string of saliva following and snapping, and he peeks up to see Jaebum’s stopped them at a scenic turnout. 

Jaebum’s hand grips him by his hair then, pushing him back down with a frustrated growl, and Jinyoung’s smiling lips part around his cock once more.

It is easier when Jaebum isn't driving, although Jinyoung misses the rush of power he felt. Still, it's easier as Jaebum leans back, easier as Jaebum directs his head at the pace he wants it.

Jinyoung keeps his mouth a hot, slick ring and moves it steadily, the way he knows Jaebum likes. Jaebum rolls his hips upward to meet the sensation, fucking into his mouth without any of his earlier inhibitions.

Jinyoung chokes a little on a particularly aggressive thrust, just as he hears a loud honking from outside. There are even voices hooting as a car passes. Jinyoung tries to look up.

Jaebum digs his fingers further into Jinyoung's hair, keeps his head low in his lap. He squints his eyes shut and keeps thrusting, desperate for release. 

Jinyoung swallows around him again, moaning as he realizes the passing car must have seen them. Jaebum gasps in response to the vibration, coming hard and shooting hot down Jinyoung's throat.

Jinyoung gulps it down, slides his swollen lips off and laps along the softening, velvety skin until he's satisfied and sits up. He sits prim and upright, dabbing at a corner of his mouth shyly as Jaebum slowly tucks himself back into his jeans with a tired groan.

“God,” he sighs. “What got into you?”

“You look good,” Jinyoung says quietly, shrugging as he buckles his seatbelt once more.

Jaebum breathes deeply for another moment before starting up and merging back onto the winding road.

Jinyoung looks about in curiosity, not recognizing the area. “Where _are_ we?” He wonders.

“Beaver Creek Pass,” Jaebum says. “My favorite shortcut. And luckily, not a very popular one.”

  
//

  
It _is_ short, Jinyoung realizes, as they're soon pulling past the familiar Wilder sign. 

Jinyoung expects them to stop in the large gravel lot, but Jaebum follows the main road up to his family house, and Jinyoung presses his face to the chilly window and stares at a very different campground.

Everything is bathed in white - the sports field having utterly vanished, its snowy blanket twinkling under the pastels of the setting sun.

The Crafting Corner looks like a dainty little cottage from a fairy tale, and some of the other buildings even have the beginnings of sparkling icicles.

Reluctantly, Jinyoung thinks about how Nayeon gushed over the scenery. Although the memory is unpleasant, he can't blame her for romanticizing it. As Jaebum parks in his family's driveway, Jinyoung is eager to tumble out and feel the crystals of snow crunch under his boots.

It's as satisfying as he hoped, and he spends a few moments stepping delicately around the edge of their lawn.

Jaebum clears his throat after a moment, holding a hand out for Jinyoung.

Jinyoung takes it bashfully, and they step into his house together, after a few quick knocks.

It's quiet for a moment, as Jinyoung's eyes adjust to the warm lighting and he takes in as many details as he can. A window seat with a pile of hand-knit blankets. A games nook beside it, overflowing with puzzles and board games looking a little dusty. 

Bookshelves line nearly every wall, stuffed tight with colorful titles and framed photos. Jinyoung stands on his tiptoes to peek at one of a toddler-aged Jaebum holding the most enormous baby he's ever seen.

At his soft giggle, there's a thundering of footsteps down the stairs to his left and a drawn out: “ _Hyuuuuuuuuuung_ ~!”

It’s Youngjae, all grown up, and he launches himself into his brother’s arms. Jaebum staggers back a bit with a laugh, but he quickly lifts him up and jiggles him around.

Jinyoung sneaks the frame down from the shelf, turns to watch them with a playful smirk.

Youngjae bounds over to him next, and Jinyoung returns his tight embrace before brandishing the baby photo at him with a squeal. 

Youngjae groans and covers his pink face with a laugh. “I know, I don't know how my mother popped me out. I was twice his size.”

“It was worth the struggle,” says a voice, and Jinyoung looks up to see Mrs. Im stepping in from the side yard, setting a little white dog down.

“But we stopped at two for a reason,” she says.

Jinyoung hurriedly thrusts the framed photo at Jaebum and bows deep in greeting, smiling shyly at her. “Hello,” he says softly.

“Hello again,” she says with a big smile. “Nobody's offered you anything to drink? Do you like tea?”

Jinyoung nods frantically, adding another bow for good measure before she heads for the kitchen.

He turns to check with Jaebum for reassurance, his heart hammering away in his chest, but Jaebum is frowning down at the little white dog.

Youngjae is kneeling and cooing, trying to gently convince it to sit down.

“What _is this_?” Jaebum wonders, as Jinyoung attaches himself nervously to his arm. His body heat soothes Jinyoung slightly.

“Her name is Coco and she's mine!” Youngjae cries out, eyes shining. 

“You're allergic,” Jaebum says. “That's why we could never get a cat.” He's pouting now, and Jinyoung knows he's thinking about Nora.

“Coco is hypoallergenic,” Youngjae says proudly, even as the dog tries to take a bite out of Jaebum's shoe. “She's my little danderless angel.”

Jinyoung can't help but laugh at this, and even Jaebum smiles as he rolls his eyes and yanks his foot away. 

Jaebum's mother sweeps back in with a tray of tea, and beckons everyone to gather around the table. “I’ll get your father,” she says, and Jinyoung's heart plummets.

Under the table, Jaebum takes his hand and squeezes it firmly. Coco tries to nip at their knuckles and they part before Youngjae corrals her into his lap. She stares suspiciously across the table at them, paws on the table like a little person. Jinyoung wonders briefly about the Im boys and their predilicition for spoiled little princesses, but he doesn’t want to focus too much on how well he fits into that picture.

Mrs. Im returns a moment later, Mr. Im following with a tight-ipped expression.

Jinyoung thinks he doesn't look as cold as he'd seemed from a distance around camp, but knowing what he's said to Jaebum still makes him tremble. Jinyoung stands up to bow and then sits again as both of Jaebum's parents hurriedly wave him back to the tea.

Jinyoung is grateful for something to hold onto, and he clutches his teacup tightly.

“Park Jinyoung,” says Mr. Im. He has the same sharp cheekbones as Jaebum. Jinyoung can't help but notice even as he peeks timidly through his eyelashes, chin down.

“I owe you an apology,” he continues gruffly. “Well, I suppose I owe my son one as well.”

Jinyoung's ears burn and he looks at Jaebum in surprise. Jaebum looks equally bewildered, a tense line between his eyebrows and a question in his eyes.

“When Youngjae had to call me and patch things up; when he had to reassure me how much he cares about the camp, and how everything would be okay. It made me feel like a bad father.”

Jinyoung glances up at Youngjae, who is holding Coco close and eying his father with some alarm as well.

“It’s difficult, as a parent, to keep your personal expectations separate from your kids. To keep from smothering them a little.” Mr. Im looks remorseful.

“I was obsessed with Wilder growing up. It's where I was born, and where I met my wife, and I don't want to leave it. There have been tough times, hanging onto this place, and I know it's been hard on all of us.”

“I made it even harder on Jaebum,” he admits. “I never even asked him what he wanted. I was the oldest son when I became director, and so was my father before that. But my grandfather was the middle son, and before that it was his mother. Who was someone's cousin…” he trails off as Mrs. Im pokes him in the side.

“The point is,” Mr. Im clears his throat. “It doesn’t matter if it’s Jaebum specifically. I was narrow-minded about it, since we had a deal in place. But I want to keep camp a central part of our family. It’s my _heritage_.”

Jinyoung nods small, lips pressed together. Jaebum doesn’t move beside him, eyes still locked on his father.

“I was too blind about it, as my wife has tried to make clear, several times.” Mr. Im admits. “And, I said hurtful things. To everyone. Even those who weren’t here to defend themselves,” he nods curtly at Jinyoung here, and Jinyoung feels a faint ghosting of guilt in his chest.

“I’m sorry, to have stood in the way of something else for your future,” he says, nodding at Jaebum. “Something bigger.” He pauses, glancing between the two of them, and he looks suddenly more uncomfortable. “It’s hard for me to come to terms with your being… _together_ ,” he says, clearing his throat. “It was never what I imagined for you.” 

Jinyoung tries not to look up, tries his hardest not to glance at Jaebum or Youngjae. He stares at the beautiful glaze on the ceramic of the tea set, tries to look past the sting in these words. He knows it’s not intended to hurt.  
   
“But as my son, I have to support you,” Mr. Im continues. “And I’ve done that poorly.”  
   
There’s a pause as he claps a dumbfounded, tense Youngjae on the shoulder.

“And I should be sorry to Youngjae as well, for taking him for granted. These past weeks, starting to do maintenance all over again, but with my son by my side… it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Mr. Im says.

Youngjae smiles through Coco’s tufts of hair, cheeks pink with pride.

Jaebum hangs his head slightly, looking distant. “I’m sorry I never wanted to help.” He says, and Jinyoung can hear the tension in his throat. He nearly topples over in his haste to put a hand on his leg.

Mr. Im bows his head back at him, respectfully. “I appreciate that,” he says.  
Mrs. Im frowns. “But you shouldn’t have to apologize,” she says sternly, glancing pointedly at her husband. He nods.

“You helped me all along anyway,” he says. “And, I know your talents lay elsewhere. Your mother actually just showed me some footage last night, that you’d sent from your dance finals. It looked pretty good.”

Jaebum turns pink like Youngjae, and bites his lips to keep from smiling too large. He nods and takes Jinyoung’s hand under the table again. “I’m enjoying school.”

“Jinyoung,” says Mr. Im continues abruptly, and Jinyoung nearly knocks his tea over as he was about to take a sip. “We heard you’re attending the same university. What is it you study?”

Jinyoung nods, steadying his cup with his free hand. “Art History,” he says crisply. 

Mrs. Im suddenly lets a small squeal, clapping her hands together. Jinyoung’s head snaps up to look at her in surprise.

“That was my field as well,” she says. “I was even a docent for a while before we had Jaebum. When he told me I got so excited. I still have my old edition of Gardner’s _Art Through the Ages_ that got me hooked while I was deciding what I should do in high school.”

Jinyoung’s cheeks flush and he smiles broadly at her, tickled by the coincidence. “I would love to see it,” he blurts out, “I wonder how much must have changed?”

Mrs. Im makes a teasingly sour face at him. “It’s not from the Renaissance,” she says, “how old do you think I must be?”

Jinyoung gasps, clasping his hands over his mouth in horror. “No! I didn’t mean that!” He exclaims, but she and Youngjae burst into the same loud laughter. Jaebum squeezes him by the nape of his neck with a smirk.

Dizzy with embarrassment but feeling so warm, Jinyoung tries to fumble his way through the rest of their time together. After they bid them goodnight, collect their things and head to the games room to check in, Jinyoung can’t help but feel distracted. 

Was that _all_ , he wonders, signing in and taking his badge and cabin assignment. Was that why she was so excited to see him? Had Jaebum not been as forthright as he and Mark had figured? He supposes it should come as a relief.

At the thought of his best friend, he spots him across the game room. Mark sees him at the same moment, waving a rushing Jinyoung over and tightly embracing him.

“You _made_ it!” Jackson laughs, and Mark snickers beside him.

Jinyoung withdraws, eyeing them suspiciously. “What's so funny?” He wonders.

“Well,” says Mark, eyes shining. “We saw Jaebum pulled over on Beaver Creek Pass, but we didn't exactly _see_ all of  _you_.” He winks exaggeratedly. “So I wasn't sure if you'd be getting up here after all.”

Jinyoung flushes, turning away to hide his face as Mark’s hyena laugh rings out across the game room. Jackson's matching giggle isn't much more attractive.

Jinyoung decides against trying to defend himself, and they glance across the room at where Jaebum is introducing himself to one of Mark's previous campers.

“Uh-oh, he's got Bobby,” Mark notes. “He's in for quite a weekend.”

“He didn't request you again?” Jinyoung teases, settling primly in a chair. “I guess some counselors just don't leave much of an impression.”

Mark snorts and slaps him on the arm. “They _loved_ me!” He says. “But this weekend I'm just helping Jacks with games. I didn't feel like counseling.”

Jinyoung hums and nods, looking around for any familiar faces.

“You know,” Jackson says lowly. “ _This_ way, we get to share a dorm.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

Mark rolls his eyes, but he's biting his lip and blushing, and Jinyoung watches as he sneaks a hand into Jackson's back pocket. He sighs and looks away, wistfully watching Jaebum as he interacts with his campers. 

It'll be strange not sleeping with Jaebum, he considers. Although they aren't together every night at school, it's still usually an option. 

A weekend isn't very long, though, and he's sure they'll survive. If they've made it through the Ohs and the Ims and a week without sex, a weekend with some distance should be a cakewalk.

“Has he said anything?” Mark whispers.

Jinyoung shakes his head, looking down at his feet with a little frown. “And his mother said she was so excited because she was also an Art History major.”

“That's sweet,” Mark hums, and then pets Jinyoung's head softly. “I'm sorry if we got your hopes up a little too high.”

Jackson peers at them curiously but doesn't intrude. Jinyoung shakes his head. “It's fine,” he promises, watching Jaebum and feeling warmth down to his fingertips. “Everything is good.”

A weight suddenly drops in Jinyoung's lap and he struggles for a moment, as Yugyeom has claimed him as his seat, looping an arm around his neck.

“Hyung,” he sing-songs in greeting, swinging his comically long legs. “I'm in your cabin again!”

“Oh, Yugyeomie,” Jinyoung says, still startled. “Did you get bigger already?”

Yugyeom rolls his eyes but BamBam appears over his shoulder, nodding solemnly.

“He's grown _two_ inches,” BamBam sighs, “even though I'm already 14 and he's still 13 and I've only grown a half an inch.”

“A _quarter_ inch,” Yugyeom corrects him, poking him gently in the cheek.

BamBam huffs irritably and flops onto Yugyeom’s lap, much to Jinyoung's alarm. “ _Don't!_ ” He whines beneath them.

“They kept us together this time,” BamBam says down at him proudly, ignoring his wriggling in discomfort. “So I guess I’ll give you a shot at being my counselor this time.”

Jinyoung heaves a sigh as Jackson measures out the comical height of their pile. “If you don't get off of me, you'll only have a pancake, not a counselor.”

BamBam doesn't budge but Yugyeom finally takes pity and bumps his smaller companion out of the way so he can get up. Jinyoung stands and breathes deep for a moment. “How,” he gasps. “How have you two been?”

“I'm not allowed to date him until he's sixteen,” Yugyeom blurts out, unembarrassed even as BamBam shrieks and tries to cover his mouth. “His mom won't allow it.”

BamBam groans, glancing shyly at Mark and Jackson, who sense his embarrassment and start cooing and trying to pinch his cheeks. 

Jinyoung nods solemnly. “It's a good idea,” he says. “You're just babies, you have so much time.”

Yugyeom nods blithely, but BamBam pouts still. “I just don't want any dumb bimbos thinking he's available,” he says. “You wouldn't understand what it's like to fight girls off.”

Mark throws his head back and laughs heartily, even as Jinyoung’s face blanches. 

“I wouldn't _understand_ …?” He repeats. He takes some comfort that not everyone is completely invested in his personal business.

Mark laughs even harder, helpfully nudging a confused BamBam away from his dangerous expression.

  
//

  
The weekend blurs together quickly, snowball tournaments and hot chocolate and sledding down the mountain’s gentle slopes. Saturday night they set up a fake fire circle in the dining hall, turning the lights down, clearing tables and setting up a stone ring with different sized flashlights standing in the middle.

Jackson passes another flashlight around and encourages them to share spooky stories, and he over-dramatically reacts to each one. Everyone is huddled in blankets and pillows, pretending it's as chilly as it is outside. Yugyeom and BamBam are bundled together, sharing one cup of cocoa as BamBam screeches genuinely at every story.

Jinyoung gazes around the circle fondly, spotting some of his other previous campers. Taehyun is in Wonpil's cabin, and the sight of him leaning back against the older boy’s shins and munching popcorn makes Jinyoung's heart swell.

Chanwoo ends up with Bobby and Hanbin in Jaebum's cabin, and although it's a short weekend he's already keeping the group quieter than Mark had managed. Jinyoung mentions this quietly to him, and Mark rolls his eyes.

“They don't need to be _quiet_ at _camp_ ,” he whispers back. “They just need to not kill each other. Or fall off a cliff. That's the extent of my responsibility and I did it well.”

Youngjae isn't counseling this time, instead helping around with set up and general admin things. Jinyoung feels proud watching him bloom into a mini director, cheerfully hovering around the perimeter, Coco by his side. 

He comes by later tonight, popping into the kitchen for a moment and then settling behind Jinyoung's cabin with an extra large mug of cocoa. Coco jumps at it hopefully and Youngjae valiantly keeps it away, sipping at it too quickly and burning his tongue.

Mark reaches out to the little dog and with one sniff of his hand, she hurries over to settle in his lap. Youngjae moans in dismay. “What?? She doesn't even like my _mom_ , but she likes Mark?”

“Everyone likes me,” Mark teases, cuddling the puppy. She rolls onto her back to offer her belly. 

Jinyoung glances slyly at Youngjae to see how he reacts to this statement, but he’s still smiling wide, wiping his mouth on his sleeve as he watches them play.

“Let’s take a walk,” says a voice in Jinyoung’s ear, and he startles to see Jaebum suddenly close, nose brushing his cheek.

“Our campers,” Jinyoung protests feebly, even as he's handing his serving of popcorn to Mark and standing up. 

“Youngjae and Mark have eyes, right?” Jaebum says to the other boys, who make knowing, exasperated faces at each other but nod and shift in closer to the center of the circle.

Jaebum takes his hand easily as they slip out of the dining hall and into the cold of the night. Jinyoung tightens his scarf around his neck, burying his face in it so his nose doesn’t get chapped. Jaebum leads them swiftly up a familiar path toward the water tower. Jinyoung wonders but doesn’t ask, content to feel his hand in his own, tucked into Jaebum’s coat pocket again.

They settle along the outer rim of the top of the tower, to a view Jinyoung didn’t notice when he was here in the summer, the night everyone faced the center and chose spirit animals. It looks out over the entirety of the camp, he realizes, and as their legs dangle over the edge he smiles down at the twinkling lights and snow. The water tower is cold, slippery, and the frost stings even through his denim, but he can bear it with Jaebum by his side.

It’s an emerging theme, he realizes, how quickly he considers himself capable now, with just the thought of Jaebum’s support.

“I think I’m kind of a coward,” Jaebum says suddenly, and Jinyoung turns to look at him in alarm. Jaebum’s cheeks are red from the winter air, but his eyes are pink and glazed as well, and Jinyoung wraps his other hand around his arm and waits for him to continue.

“I never wanted to be here,” he finally continues. “I never wanted to stay, and I never wanted to marry Nayeon. I wanted so much more - to try new things, to meet new people, to go to school and to get away. But I never said anything.”

Jinyoung sighs, thinking it's too harsh. “It’s difficult,” says Jinyoung. “When nobody asks.”

Jaebum tilts his head as if considering it. “I should have tried,” he says. “I shouldn’t have kept up appearances for so long. You weren’t the first boy I ever looked at,” his voice waivers. “But I told myself you’d be my last.”

Jinyoung bites his lip hard, feeling no remorse for indulging Jaebum’s whims.

“It was cowardly,” Jaebum says firmly, “to commit myself to living a lie for the rest of my life.”

“You didn’t, though,” Jinyoung points out. “You spoke up at the end.”

Jaebum laughs, and the sound is sharp as it echoes up the mountain. “Barely,” he says. “And who knows what would have happened if JYP didn't happen to have good timing. I keep thinking: I could have run away with you. But I don’t know if I _would_ have.”

Jinyoung’s heart skips a beat here, the words pointed and unapologetic. Jinyoung doesn’t blame him, doesn’t know that he could have been persuaded to run anywhere at that time. But it hurts to think about it, to remember the way he tried so hard to uncurl Jaebum’s grasp from around his heart, and to hear Jaebum say he would have just let go.

“Still,” Jinyoung reminds them both, voice trembling, “That’s not where we are now.”

“No,” Jaebum says, “but I’ve still been a coward.”

Jinyoung doesn’t understand him, but he knows he won’t get an answer by asking any of his questions, so he waits, watching Jaebum’s sharp eyes as they fix and soften on his face.

“I told my mom,” Jaebum says, and his voice has utterly melted, “months ago – that I loved you.”

Jinyoung’s face flushes, his whole body feeling numb for a moment as all he can feel is the beat and pulse of his heart. He hears his blood churning and rushing in his ears, and he stares dumbly at Jaebum’s calm, sincere face in the clear moonlight.

“I’ve been in love with you,” says Jaebum, “and it’s been so easy. But I haven’t said a word.”

Jinyoung finds his tongue completely still, feeling heavy and large in his mouth, unable to reply.

Jaebum’s eyes flicker across his expression, tilting his head slightly to scrutinize his lack of response. “You don’t have to reply,” he says. “I just needed to let you know. I should have told you sooner - and somewhere warmer.”

Jinyoung shakes his head, trying to snap himself out of this daze, but he’s overwhelmed. Even after talking about it with Mark, and all of the times he's imagined it between then and now, he’s still dumbstruck.

“I’ve never _been_ in love before,” Jinyoung blurts out, and then frowns, unsure why he said it. 

There’s a pause, and then Jaebum shrugs. “Me neither,” he admits.

Jinyoung’s face feels so hot, his limbs completely numb – from shock or the cold – he can’t tell. But here it is - what he’d already known. This is the start of their greatest adventure, the beginning of something new that won’t end as merely an experiment, doesn't require a class, won’t leave him with a hangover.

It’s something bigger, something better. 

“I’m in love with you too,” Jinyoung says, beaming across at him. Jaebum was right, it has been easy. To fit into one another, despite everything around them taking longer to adjust.

Jaebum’s face breaks into a matching smile, his eyes curving up with his cheeks, and the abundant light from the full moon makes it clear that they’re shining with unshed tears.

They kiss. It's sweet and chaste, lips fitting against each other gently until it turns wet and deep, and then there's a soft crack. The ice atop the water tower shifts suddenly, and Jinyoung nearly slides right off the edge as Jaebum leans too deeply into him. 

Jinyoung screeches and manages to scramble away from the edge, and Jaebum bolts up and yanks him swiftly aside to the steadier ground of the mountain ridge. Heart hammering in his throat, and jeans uncomfortably wet with snow, Jinyoung gasps for air and convinces Jaebum to head back toward the dining hall. 

“I wouldn’t have let you fall,” Jaebum keeps assuring him, and Jinyoung huffs.

“We would have both slipped,” Jinyoung points out sharply as they hike back, “and we’re well past the point where a suicide pact would have sounded romantic on the news. Now we’re just two dummies who thought an icy water tower was a safe spot for a hookup.” 

Jaebum laughs a little, swinging his arm between them as their feet find the camp road again. “We know a few better places,” he says. “But you have to admit it was pretty exciting.”

Jinyoung sighs, not wanting to admit how awake he feels, and how he so closely associates this rush of adrenaline with Jaebum. He heads directly for the dining hall's main entrance and its wide staircase, but Jaebum stops, yanking at his arm. Jinyoung turns to frown at him in question, and Jaebum is nodding toward the downstairs bathrooms, tugging him along with a smirk. 

“They’ll wonder what’s taking us so long,” Jinyoung protests, his cheeks heating up as they head down the familiar hallway and into the men’s room.

“They’ll know _exactly_ what’s taking so long,” Jaebum assures him, pressing him into a stall. As Jinyoung watches Jaebum sink to his knees and work his wet jeans open, Jinyoung realizes his life doesn't seem to be settling down at all.

He's never going to stop learning, and growing – getting higher, and falling sometimes – but now it will be with someone by his side. Eyes fluttering shut, Jinyoung thinks nothing sounds better than getting wilder with Jaebum.

 


End file.
